“How it going?” he asked, sitting next to me. Waves of heat washed over me and I crossed my legs.
“Going?” I asked.
“The story? I’m surprised you’re still here. Haven’t you seen enough?” he asked.
“Ian, what’s going on?” I asked, wanting desperately to cut through the bullshit. “Did I do something to piss you off?”
“You? What could you have done?”
“Well, then I don’t understand. Everything was going so well. We were having so much fun.” God, I hated the way I sounded. Even more, I hated games and the silent treatment, and this was the only way I could see to get through that.
“Is that what it was?” he asked, his eyes narrowing.
“What?”
“It was just fun?”
“I - well - yeah, it was fun. Wasn’t it?”
“Sure, luv, it was fun,” he replied, looking away. I couldn’t read him. I wanted to. I wished I could get in his head and listen to everything he wasn’t saying.
“It was more than fun,” I whispered. He wouldn’t look at me now. “I don’t know what it was, Liam. And I don’t know what happened, but I thought maybe we were headed somewhere. Maybe that sounds crazy,” I said, standing up in front of him, my voice shaking. I desperately wanted him to look at me, I needed to see his eyes, his reaction to my words. “I know who you are. I see what your life is like. I didn’t have any illusion, Liam. But I let you in, and I thought, maybe just maybe there was a tiny sliver of a chance that it could go somewhere.”
His eyes flashed up to mine and then looked away again.
“You think you hurt me, but you didn’t,” I said, willing my voice to steady. “You think you can pretend what happened between us doesn’t mean anything to you. But I know better. Maybe you don’t know how to handle it, or maybe you just don’t believe in it. Maybe I’m crazy, and it wouldn’t work at all. But we’ll never know if we don’t try.”
“Why would you want to be with a man like me, luv? You see what an arrogant prick I am. You deserve better,” he said, his eyes crashing into mine, churning with all the confusion and pain I’d expected to see, for once not masked by his blanket of bravado.
“Because I’ve seen something else, Liam. Yeah, you’re full of yourself. Yeah, you think you have the greatest cock on Earth. But you’re more than that. You put all your needs to the side, just to keep the show going. You’re taking care of all the people around you, making sure families are fed, and that people have jobs, even though you desperately need to take a long vacation. You endure the toll it takes on you, physically and mentally, and then blame yourself when you collapse under all the pressure. You’ve given up having a family, or ever getting close to anyone, because you’re constantly moving. You’re not a bad guy, Liam.”
“You think you have me all figured out, don’t you, luv?”
“No,” I whispered. “Not entirely. But I think I’m beginning to.”
“Most people don’t take the time to look,” he said, his blue eyes softening, thoughtful, as he stood up from the bed, his tall frame towering over me again. “Most people only see what they want to see.”
“I’m not most people,” I whispered, staring up at him.
“No, luv, you aren’t,” he said. He reached up and his warm hand caressed my cheek. “And thank the Queen for that.” I smiled, melting into his touch.
“You’re right about everything. I don't know what any of this means, but maybe we can figure it out together?”
“That sounds like a good plan,” I replied, my heart soaring.
“Can you ever forgive me for being such an ass?” he asked.
“You’re already forgiven,” I replied.
“You’re so fuckin’ beautiful, Catherine,” he whispered, as he ran his thumb over my quivering lip. “I’m a fuckin’ idiot, but I promise I’ll try really bloody hard not to be again.”
“Deal,” I whispered, his kiss silencing me. It was so gentle, so slow, so soft, that it almost hurt, his strong arms pulling me in close.
We fell back on the bed, and within moments, my dress was pushed away and I was naked beneath him as he pulled off his boxers. He pulled himself back on top of me, his body sliding along mine deliciously, his lips finding mine again, our bodies seeking the closeness once more. He slid into me smoothly, his hips rocking against me slowly, sensually, my limbs trembling with desire as I savored every sweet inch of his hardness. His arms wrapped around me, his body clinging to mine as he thrust into me with wild abandon, our souls melting into each other, searching for the bliss together and finding the electric connection that I knew I’d never be able to walk away from.
My name escaped from his lips as he came, as I pulsed around him, my body quivering with love and lust and desire and happiness all at the same time.
The three words I longed to say lingered on my tongue, but I kept them silent. We needed to take this slowly, no matter how fast my heart was trying to race to the finish line.
Chapter 32
LIAM
Wrapped around Catherine. That’s how I wanted to wake up every day of my life, I decided, as I opened my eyes. She was still asleep and her beauty took my breath away. I trailed a finger over the soft curve of her breast and she stirred. I rubbed my thumb over her pink nipple and smiled as it came to life under my touch. Her skin was smooth and warm as I slid my hand along her waist and over her hip and then between her legs, sinking my fingers into her warmth. She moaned, lifting her hips, welcoming me, opening her legs and turning over towards me.
Her eyes fluttered open and she flashed me a sleepy smile.
“Mmmm…good morning…” she moaned, as I gently pressed my thumb against her clit. I moved between her legs, pulling her thighs apart and tasting her. I groaned as she wiggled her hips, pressing into me, opening for me. My fingers slid in and out of her, her pleasure flowing over my hands as I sucked on her clit. She came quickly, easily, deliciously, pulsing against me.
I pulled myself up and she wrapped her thighs around me, pulling me in. I sank my cock inside of her, her tightness almost too much to bear. We moved together silently, the early morning light falling across her face as I watched her. She was so fuckin’ beautiful and she was even more beautiful with my cock buried inside of her. I wanted to dig in and never leave. I wanted to spend hours and days and months doing nothing but feeling her quiver around me, losing myself in her moans, her sweet pussy, her warmth.
But we’d slept in, way too long, and we didn’t have much time. I came quickly, and we rushed to get dressed and then Catherine ran to her room to pack.
“Wait,” I said, grabbing her hand before she walked out the door. I kissed her again, hard, purposeful. “Thank you.”
“For what?” she asked.
“For being so bloody cool. For forgiving me. And well, yeah, for the amazing sex, too, luv.” I winked.
“I should be thanking you,” she said, reaching down and fondling my still naked, still hard, cock. “For this.”
“All yours, luv,” I whispered, kissing her again. She squeezed lightly, and then turned and walked out the door. I watched her leave in amazement.
For once in my life, it appeared I hadn’t completely fucked up something after all.
This was a first.
I sighed and jumped in the shower, my head racing with possibilities. I had to go slow, take it one day at a time, in order to not freak either one of us out. I cared about Catherine, that much was true. I couldn’t pretend any longer that I wasn’t having feelings for her. I just didn’t really know what to do about them. I was shocked she was willing to give me a second chance, after all she’d seen so far. But listening to her words last night, seeing the way she looked at me, with understanding, without judgement…I’d never received that kind of kindness from anyone, and it had touched something deep inside of me, something that I wasn’t even sure was there anymore.
Today, we were getting back on the buses and heading to Los Angeles. Most
people hated LA, but it was one of the places in America that I actually liked. I had a house way up in the hills, and I was looking forward to spending my night there. Knowing I’d get to spend it there with Catherine was even better.
The tension between me and the rest of the band seemed to have lightened today. We all said friendly hellos and while Rocket was still ignoring me, I was happy to see that the swelling in his eye had gone down considerably. I contemplated apologizing, but it was probably best I just leave him alone. We’d talk later.
We all walked on to our waiting buses, and I was once again alone with Catherine.
We retired to the back of the bus and made love the entire ride to Los Angeles. Yes, the entire six hours. We came up for air a few times, hydrating ourselves, eating and napping a little, but now that I had her back in my arms, I was having a very hard time untangling myself from her.
***
“This is amazing,” Catherine said, as I opened the front door. Everything was just as I’d left it. High up in the Hollywood Hills, perched on a cliff that overlooked the city, all glass, sleek and sophisticated - this house was the thing I loved the most in America. You’d never find anything like this in London, where I spent most of my time hiding from the dreary rain in my penthouse, when I wasn’t on tour, which was rare.