If I even have any family left.
I swallow away the lump in my throat as I sigh and turn around.
I can’t stay here. Despite the fact I’m not old enough to live on my own, I need to do this on my own terms. I’ve stayed in this orphanage for long enough. No one ever came to pick me up. No one came to take me in.
I guess that’s what happens when people see a blind girl. They don’t want the responsibility, the difficulties that come with that. But my blindness is not a weakness. I don’t feel weak.
I march toward the windows and take out the pin from my hair. I’ve practiced this so many times that I know exactly which places to prod to open it.
And as I hang from the ledge and jump down on the grass, I don’t stop. I don’t pause to say goodbye. I just keep running … keeping going toward a better life.
If there ever is one.
Accompanying Song: “Industry” by Mire Kay
After months, I’ve finally found a place to call my own.
Well, sort of, anyway. It’s a creaky old attic above the club where I work, but it’s big enough for a proper bed. Plus, I have my own shower, toilet, and cooking station, which is more than I had while I lived on the streets.
I admit, life hasn’t been easy since I left the orphanage, but the freedom I gained is amazing, and I wouldn’t trade it for the world.
I love that I’m able to go wherever I want and do whatever I want.
The club owner, Roy, doesn’t let me live here for free, so I do have to work as a server every evening. Also, it’s not exactly a regular club … more like a brothel disguised as a club. Girls are scantily dressed, and sometimes, Roy makes them dance on the makeshift stage in the back. Sometimes even half-naked and with men giving them money. I’ve even heard girls talk about having to suck dick and take it up the ass.
He makes me dance too sometimes. I only agreed because he demanded it, so he’d get more customers, using me as some sort of a freak show. He says it gets the men riled up.
But he doesn’t have to tell me that. I know firsthand what men do when they see a girl like me dance on the stage.
They ask for more time, one-on-one time … and I have no choice but to give in to their demands.
After all, money is money.
And Roy loves the money.
He always screams at me to do more because I live here for free. And not just that, but if I don’t work hard enough, he’ll smack me.
It didn’t start that way. He was nice to me the first few weeks. But that all slowly changed as his health began to deteriorate, and then he started taking it out on me.
I do my best to stay positive, and I am thankful to have a place to stay, but I don’t know how much longer I’ll last.
As I walk along the tables and clean them, someone clears his throat in the back.
That’s strange. I thought everyone had already left?
I turn and frown, listening to where the sound came from. “We’re closed for the day,” I say.
No response.
Maybe it was all in my head.
I shrug and continue cleaning the tables, making sure everything’s ready for tomorrow, when all of the sudden there’s someone shuffling behind me.
I pick up the nearest glass and hold it out in front of me like a knife.
“Who’s there?”
“Relax …” His voice is low and grumbly, and it makes my skin crawl.
“Who are you? What are you doing here?”
“I’m a paying customer,” the man says, chuckling.
“Please leave. We’re not open,” I say through gritted teeth, clenching the glass, walking backward while using the tables to guide me through the club. I have to get to the attic door. It’s the only one I can lock from the inside … the only way to get away from this creep.
“You’re really blind, aren’t you?” he asks.
What kind of question is that?
Another pause. “I had my doubts for a few minutes, but watching you stumble around like that makes it obvious.”
For a second, I stay put.
That’s when a cloth is pushed over my mouth.
I scream, but the sound doesn’t travel far, and a disgusting stench enters my nose. I try to push him away, but my muscles become weaker and weaker.
“Calm down … it’ll only take a few seconds.”
No. This can’t happen. What does he want with me? What is this? Why is he doing this?
But no matter how hard I try to speak up, I can’t even form the words on my lips. Just a faint squeal and his devious laughter as I sink to the floor and slowly fade away.