“You’re not denying it,” she adds, her voice still shaky.
“There’s no point in denying the truth,” I reply.
The air between us is thick with electricity, and each ounce of truth increases the static.
But the more it pours out, the better it feels. I don’t regret admitting it. Not one bit.
We were on this collision course for a long time, and now it’s finally done. My truth is finally out there, and I won’t stop. Not until she tells me to.
“So you just … murder people for no reason?” Her voice is heavy with emotions.
“Because it feels good,” I reply, licking my lips.
“Who do you kill?”
I like how relentless she is in her quest. Even though every word that comes from my mouth makes her that much more desperate. That much more … afraid.
Fear has never been a good thing when it comes to her because it’s a drug to me. And I don’t want to do this to her, but I have no choice now. She was there; she’s witnessed my cruelty firsthand. My bloodthirst is all that’s on her mind right now. And I had it coming. It’s only fair that I finally answer her questions.
“Anyone who gets in your way?” she adds.
“No one who’s innocent,” I say, caressing her cheek with my thumb, but she turns her head away from me. I lower my hand in defeat.
“Why?”
“Because I live to punish those who did wrong.”
“And you’ll stop at nothing? Hurting them isn’t enough … you’ve got to kill them too?”
“I want to erase them off this planet,” I answer.
“What did they ever do to you?” she asks.
“Nothing … or maybe everything,” I reply. “Doesn’t matter.” I grind my teeth and look down at the floor, feeling guilty. Not because of what I do, but because of the judgment in her voice. It cuts into me like a knife.
“What made you this way?” she asks, her hands hugging the wall behind her as if she’s scared she’ll touch me if she doesn’t.
“I don’t know,” I say, sighing. “Blame it on a bad childhood. A mother who left her child with a neglectful parent because she wanted freedom. And a father who overdosed on alcohol after he hit you every fucking day of your life leaves a mark, you know. Invisible. Not on the skin … in here.” I grab her hand and place it on my chest. “After I came out of foster care, I took up everything I could to earn my way through life. Studied hard and worked day and night until I could start my own company. Still, nothing was ever enough for me.”
“So you turned to killing,” she says softly.
“I hated people. Hated what they did to each other. To the world. So when I started punishing them, it felt so goddamn good. I didn’t stop.”
She swallows. “You were hurt.”
I shake my head, laughing. “You still don’t get it, do you?” When she doesn’t respond, I add, “My past didn’t make me who I am. I am who I am because I love it. Because I love the power. Because it feels … so … damn … good. And I’ve never felt better than right after a kill.”
I grip her chin and make her face me. “Except when you came into my life.”
Accompanying Song: “I did Something Bad” by Shoshana Bean and Cynthia Erivo (Cover)
Syrena
My mouth opens, but no words come out except for a faint wheeze.
“Is that what you wanted?” he asks, gripping my arms. “How does it feel? The truth? Brutal, right? Tell me I’m a monster. Say it!”
I frown and then slam my lips shut, shaking my head.
Even though he wants me to, I can’t.
“Tell me why,” he growls.
“Because …”
Because he still saved me from the men in the forest.
Because he didn’t kill me when he had the chance.
That must mean something … right?
“You have to hate me now,” he says.
“Why?” I ask.
“Because I need to know. So I can … stop falling in love with you.”
Once again, my heart stops beating and my lungs constrict.
I’m completely taken by surprise. And I don’t even know what to say.
All I can do is feel. My heart … slowly losing the wall I’d constructed around it.
“You have to,” he says. “For your sake.”
He’s right. I should hate him. For all the things he did to me. For all the evil he tries to eradicate by committing evil himself. For all the lies and the betrayal.
But I can’t ignore my heart either.
“You have to because I’m just as bad as you thought I was. Because I did something unforgivable to you,” he says.
Does he mean … the day he took me away from Graham?
And then it hits me … the canyon.
He tried to kill me.
“You took me to that canyon that day,” I say.
He takes a step back, which is when I know it’s true.