“Whoa.” I swallow away the lump in my throat. “And you’re sure they’re … my family?”
“Hundred percent. Graham admitted it himself. You’re his.”
I can’t keep my legs steady any longer, so I grab the chair and sit down on it.
I can’t believe it.
I actually have a family.
Not one … but two brothers.
“Ella and Cage also have a kid together,” Chase adds casually. “Thought you should know.”
And a niece or nephew too. Holy shit.
“I know it’s a lot to take in, so take your time,” he says, taking a deep breath.
I nod a few times, but then he pushes something soft into my hands.
“I also wanted to give you this,” he says.
But I’m not listening to his words. All I can do is touch the soft, squishy stuffed animal in my hands. My teddy bear.
“You left it at the orphanage.” I can hear him smile. “Thought you’d want it back.”
“But I never told you,” I mutter, flabbergasted.
“You didn’t have to.” I can hear him smile. “I’m the one who gave it to you.”
My heart shatters into tiny pieces.
This teddy bear didn’t belong to my mother?
It came from him?
My whole body trembles as Chase keeps flipping my world upside down again and again.
All this time, I was searching for a home. A place to call my own. Someone who would come and get me and pull me from the darkness.
And all this time, it turned out to be him.
It was always him.
“Well, that’s all I came to do,” he says.
Then he turns around and walks off.
“Wait,” I say.
I don’t know why I say it. Maybe I really don’t want him to leave.
A part of me wishes this whole conversation never happened because then I’d be able to continue working like a braindead person as I normally do, not giving a shit about what happens to the rest of the world.
But another part of me desperately needed this little push. This little shot of happiness straight into my veins. And a part of me carelessly needed to see him.
Even if it meant breaking my own heart all over again.
He stops in his tracks but doesn’t say a word.
The pause seems eternal before I speak up and finally make up my mind. “Why did you tell me all that and give me this? Just to leave again?”
“Because I meant what I said. I love you so much that I want nothing more than for you to be happy,” he says. “Even if that means letting you go.”
He continues walking. Just like that.
As if he didn’t just rip my heart out of my chest and take it with him, all the way to the door, all the way to the car, until the sound of his engine drifts out of range, and I can no longer call for him to stay.
That moment’s passed.
Just like our time together.
So short yet so significant.
It changed my life.
And I never even told him how grateful I am for this information that’s about to alter my life again.
Where I’ll finally be reunited with the people I shared so much with. Where I’ll finally meet … my family.
And it’s all thanks to him.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Accompanying Song: “Keep The Streets Empty For Me” by Fever Ray
Chase
A week later
I stare at the coffee in my cup, watching it ripple as someone places a laptop on the table. The people around me are talking so loud, it gives me a headache, and I try not to pay attention even though I should.
My mind just isn’t in the right space for a meeting right now. I’m just here because I should be, not because I want to. I’m literally holding myself back from walking right out of that door … and going on a killing spree.
That’s how far down the gutter I’ve gone.
I don’t know how much longer I can stop myself from giving into my urges, but I don’t want to be that man anymore. I don’t want to be the man who she feared.
Syrena … Fuck.
I miss her so badly it hurts my body.
My heart feels tight and constricted in my chest as I chew on my lip. Not a second in the day goes by when I don’t think about her, wondering if she’s still in that same bar, if she’s already seen her friends. If she’s still happy.
Happiness … It’s the only thing that keeps me from going to her.
Because I know I’ve only stolen it away from her.
What have I ever given her except complete devastation?
I frown, still staring at the coffee, which has probably gone cold by now.
I don’t deserve her. I never did.
I’m a beast who only lives to kill. She could never love a man like me.
For my sake, and hers, I have to stop being that monster. I have to stop randomly killing criminals just to get a fix.