Back then, I was right.
But there are no other options here. No other ways to save her baby. She must do this.
“You have to. Do it for your baby,” I say, shaking my head. “There’s no other way. Push!”
Everyone yells along with her. “Push, push, push!”
The woman screams in agony.
It kills me to see her in pain, but I focus on the birth as it reminds me of myself back when I lost my first baby. However, I’m not going anywhere even though my body is screaming at me to run as far away from this as I can.
I need to witness this. I need to see and know this woman and her child will be okay.
Because that means we stand a chance in this community.
That even with as little medical help as possible, women can do this. I can do this.
“It hurts!” the woman yelps, and she pushes one more time.
The baby pops out of her, slippery and covered in mucus and blood, and I capture it in my hands with a towel. The mere sight of this crying, beautiful bundle of joy brings tears to my eyes.
“It’s a boy,” I murmur as I bring the baby to the mother and lay him in her arms.
The rage and fear on her face instantly make place for a smile of relief. “Oh my … he’s beautiful.” She wraps her hand around my arm and squeezes gently. “Thank you …”
I pet her hair and nod. “You did good.”
“No, thank you for being here. As a matriarch,” she says.
When I look up, everyone nods in agreement, and I’m flabbergasted that is what they think about while this woman just gave birth. Is it so special that any of us from the temple would help out in the huts? Why doesn’t it happen more often?
“Yes, thank you so much for helping out,” another volunteer says. “We’ve never had the help of a matriarch before.”
I’m shocked but at the same time confused. It’s almost as if they feel thankful for the fact that I merely exist in their space. Everyone’s been so nice to me ever since I became a matriarch. At first, I thought it was because of my position, but now it almost feels like adoration.
As though they’re yearning for more of a connection. For more than just bowing at the feet of these men.
But what if all the matriarchs became more involved? Would it change the Family from the inside out?
I sigh and get up. This is not the right time or place to even think about this, but I will keep these ideas locked away in my mind for future use.
My body is shivering, but my mind is at complete peace. And after cleaning my hands, I rub my belly and whisper to my baby, “We can do this. You and me.”
I’ve never felt more confident about this. I want this baby.
Even if it’ll be the toughest, most painful thing I’ve ever done.
My scar will not define me; my past experiences will not destroy us.
I will be here, and I will become a mother.
I’m ready.
Chapter 18
Natalie
Weeks later
All this time, Noah’s been attending ceremonies without me, but tonight is the first night he’s asked me to come. I’m not sure whether it’s because he wants me to, or if it’s because the president told him to bring me. My father must be testing us to see where our allegiance lies, but I can handle whatever he throws at me. I’ll pretend I’m the good wife, the perfect daughter … as long as I get what I want in the end.
But first, I have to get through this night.
Noah and I quickly move through the showers together after everyone’s already gone up ahead. We go to the Jacuzzis and strip ourselves of our clothes.
He goes in first and sits down on the edge, gazing at me while I peel off my dress. His eyebrow arches at the sight of my nakedness, and a blush spreads on my cheeks as a smirk spreads on his lips.
“Still playing coy?” he muses.
“I can’t ever get used to your stare,” I say as I look down at my growing belly. “Especially not while being pregnant.”
“You should because it’s not disappearing anytime soon.” His seductive voice still brings goose bumps to my skin. “You’re beautiful. Even more so when you’re carrying my child.”
Smiling, I step into the Jacuzzi with a little more confidence than before. “Thanks.”
“I mean it. I’ve never wanted to claim you more than I do now,” he says, biting his lip when he looks at me.
I shake my head. “Are you ever not horny?”
His tongue darts out to wet his lips. “Does the world stop turning when we sleep?”
I roll my eyes in response.
He wades forward through the water and stops right in front of me, planting his hands on the edge behind me, trapping me inside. “Remember our first time together? It was here … in this Jacuzzi.”