But the bumps were on my arms underneath my coat—and not because of the cold.
Because I was afraid…truly afraid.
Bethany continued to slip food into my pockets when no one was looking. She gave me as much as could possibly fit, making my pockets so bulky it was a blessing that my jacket was too big for my body and successfully concealed it.
I wasn’t getting lunch or dinner, so without it, I wouldn’t survive.
But I worried how long this could go on.
Regardless of how stupid the guard was, he would eventually figure out that I was somehow getting food. There was no amount of willpower that would make me last over a week without food and continue to get my job done.
I just hoped he wouldn’t figure it out before Magnus came back.
More days passed, and I knew I was on borrowed time. At any moment, the guard would figure it out. I did my best to seem as weak as possible without collapsing, but I suspected he’d done this before, and the women always caved when they reached their breaking point.
“Has he fed you yet?” Bethany discreetly asked the question at the table since we couldn’t talk over lunch anymore, not with the guard standing right over us, watching us like a hawk.
“No.”
She released a quiet sigh. “When do you think Magnus is coming back?”
“He didn’t say, just that it would be a couple weeks.”
“We’re almost at two weeks, and this guard is gonna figure it out soon.”
“I know… You should stop giving me food.”
She kept working with her box. “You’ll starve.”
“Magnus will be back any day, and if I don’t stop eating, he’s gonna figure it out…and know it’s you.”
She released another sigh. “Not to make matters worse, but…Cindy told me that Melanie was removed from their cabin.”
“What?” I couldn’t stop myself from turning my head to look at her full on.
“Don’t look at me,” she hissed.
I forced myself to face forward again, but my hands shook as they gripped the box. “Where did they put her?”
“No idea. Just thought you should know.”
“Did she do anything?”
“The girl’s as quiet as a mouse.”
The image of the boss came into my head, remembering the way he looked at her, and then I felt like I’d been punched in the gut.
I knew what happened.
I knew…and I had to do everything I could not to start sobbing then and there.
11
If You Must Die, Die Bravely
I leaned against the wall as I sat on my bed, lost in the dangerous thoughts clouding my mind. It was impossible to know the exact hour, not after my dinners stopped coming, when all I had was the light under my door to gauge the time.
My predicament was nothing compared to my sister’s.
I knew exactly what had happened to her.
I tried to tell myself that there was another explanation, that she was rewarded for her good behavior with a nicer cabin, more space, more privacy…
But I didn’t believe the lies I told myself.
She was beautiful. It’d been a blessing I’d always cursed. I used to be jealous of her years ago, the way she attracted every guy in her vicinity, including the guys I wanted for myself. The men I wanted to notice me forgot about me the second they met her. It didn’t matter if we had more in common, beauty was always king, and I was second best.
But now I wasn’t jealous at all.
I was ordinary in comparison, and that made me safer.
But she didn’t deserve this.
She didn’t deserve to be forced just because her beauty was intoxicating. She didn’t deserve whatever was happening to her…night after night.
Tears welled in my eyes and fell down my cheeks.
I was too late. I should have rescued us sooner. I should have done something…
My bedroom door flew open, and the guard came bursting in. “Where is it?”
I jolted upright, jarred by the way he charged into my bedroom like an angry bull.
“Get your ass up!” He grabbed me by the arm and yanked me off, sending me to the floor. Then he picked up my mattress and looked underneath it. When he didn’t find anything, he started to look for holes in the mattress. “Where the fuck is it?”
He knew.
When he didn’t find anything, he moved to my nightstand, yanking out drawers only to discover nothing. He pushed the nightstand aside and found nothing behind it. He even picked up my book and flipped through the pages as if crumbs would fall out. Then he threw it on the floor before turning to me. “I know you’re getting food, bitch. And once I figure out how, I’ll kill everyone who helped you.” He left my cabin a mess then stormed out as harshly as he barged in.
I sat up and looked at my destroyed room, the place that had become a substitute for home.