I sat up, wincing slightly in pain, and then set the tray on my lap, my feet over the edge.
He leaned against the back of the chair with his gaze slightly tilted down to the floor.
I didn’t know what to say to him, but I felt a lot better with him there than when he was gone. He was the only person in this camp as loyal to me as my own sister. He was the only person looking out for me, the only reason I’d survived two executions. “I thought we could make it.”
He lifted his gaze and looked at me. “I warned you.”
I had no idea how terrible the elements would be, how Mother Nature would defeat me. My lack of experience quickly became apparent. My grit and determination weren’t enough to overcome my lack of knowledge.
“You shot the guards but didn’t kill the dogs. Why?”
“Because we aren’t going to kill dogs. They’re just doing what they’re told. They don’t know any better.”
“You might have gotten away if you had. You could have killed them, taken one of the horses, and ridden as hard as you could.”
I looked down at my food and twirled my fork through the pasta. “I will do whatever it takes to survive, but not if that means I have to kill the innocent. Then I wouldn’t be any different from the guards.”
He stared at me with that dark and serious expression.
I placed the food into my mouth and chewed. “I thought you said you wouldn’t help me again.”
He didn’t respond to that. A stare ensued, with no reaction at all.
“I hope I haven’t put you in a difficult position.” He definitely had more power than the average guard, but I had no idea why. He could go directly to the boss and make requests that were granted—and the rest of the guards couldn’t say anything about it.
He still didn’t say anything.
“I won’t try again…” It pained me to give up, to accept an abominable life when I deserved so much more. But I’d already done everything I could, and now that I’d seen the wild myself, I realized I really stood no chance. In summer, I would die from heatstroke. Without the snow in spring, they would just hunt me down even quicker. Unless we were liberated by the police, I had no chance.
His eyes narrowed slightly at my words. “You don’t have that luxury.”
The food was forgotten once I heard him say that.
“You have to try again…because the guards are going to find any reason to kill you. The second I’m gone, it’s over.”
The executioner had already warned me of that. “Then don’t leave—”
“I have to. My position requires me to be elsewhere.”
I set down the fork and gripped each side of the tray to set it aside because I was no longer hungry. “I won’t survive out there, even with a horse—”
“I’ll help you this time.”
My hands balled into fists as the emotion rushed through me, the high of the hope and the low of the fear. I stared at the man who had been my saving grace, my lifeline, the raft in the middle of the ocean. “What…?”
“Because if I don’t help you, they’ll kill you.”
Every time my life was on the line, he intervened. Now, he was doing it again, doing something he hadn’t wanted to do in the first place.
“We’ll wait until you’re strong again. I’ll draw you a map to get where you need to go.”
Was this really happening? Was I really getting what I wanted above all else? “But…what will they do to you when they know you helped me?” I wanted my freedom above all else, but not if it meant he would be killed.
“Don’t worry about me. I have a plan.”
When I returned to work, every guard stared at me.
I could tell, even without seeing their faces.
I moved to the table beside Bethany, still in pain, but able to function.
“Girl, are you okay?” she whispered. “What happened?”
“Long story… I’ll tell you later.” I prepared the box.
“Melanie hasn’t returned.”
I immediately looked over my shoulder to where she usually sat—and she wasn’t there. I looked at the box again, at the powder that was more valuable than every prisoner in that camp.
The boss took her away, and I had no idea how to get her back.
Even if Magnus got me out of there, how would I find her?
Bethany whispered to me, “They’re looking. Move.”
I carried the box to the table and kept my head down, doing my best not to attract unnecessary attention from the men who already despised me. I was walking a fine line, on thin ice, and any excuse they had to snap my neck was a good one.
I returned to the table.
“Did you guys try to escape?” Bethany whispered.
“Yes.”
“Oh my god…how are you still alive?”