It’s totally not what I want or need.
Tugging and nudging him closer, I guide him down until his chest is pressing against my breasts and he has to fit himself between my knees.
Still resisting what I’m trying to do, he continues to hold himself a little above me.
Wrapping my legs around his waist, I dig my heels into the back of his thighs and sink my nails into the skin of his back.
“Closer,” I urge.
“I’ll hurt you,” he protests, fighting against me.
“Please,” I plead.
Cursing softly, he comes down on top of me, crushing me with his weight.
As soon as I feel his weight pressing down on me, all the tension I’ve been holding inside flows out of me.
Sighing, I press my face against his throat. I don’t know why, but now that he’s on top of me, I finally feel like I can breathe.
“Sophia, baby, I can’t stay like this,” James says gently and tries to pull away. “If I fall asleep, I’ll smother you with my dead weight.”
All my muscles immediately lock up, trapping him against me.
“Then smother me,” I say, not caring at this point.
James growls. “Don’t say that.”
“I wouldn’t mind going like this…” I sigh. “Beneath you.”
James curses again and I feel his cock stiffening against me.
He tries to pull away.
When I fight him, he growls, “I’m just going to reposition a little so I don’t hurt you. Okay?”
Reluctantly, I loosen my grip on him and let him shift his body. I almost protest when he puts his right shoulder down on the mattress, but when he relaxes on top of me again, I still feel most of his weight pushing down on me.
“Is this okay?” he asks, his breath warm against my ear.
His upper body is angled more toward his right side and his head his over my left shoulder, but otherwise he’s covering me enough to satisfy my need.
“Yes,” I say and sigh again, content, as I nuzzle my face back into the side his throat.
We fall back into silence and eventually his breathing begins to deepen and slow.
My breathing slows to match his until our chests are moving in perfect sync.
With his weight pushing down on me so I don’t float away, I finally fall asleep.
Feeling safe and protected in the cage he’s made for me with his body.
A steady throb between my thighs pulls me out of my light slumber. The growing persistence forcing me awake.
Though I slept and found some rest, it wasn’t very deep.
I drifted somewhere between my dreams and reality.
The weight of James’s body keeping my demons at bay.
Slowly opening my eyes, the first thing I see in the early dawn light that fills the room is James’s big shoulder. He’s still spread on top of me, his arms caging me in.
And my arms and legs are still wrapped around his chest and waist.
I try to shift a little, noticing my ass is growing numb from being stuck in this position for too long.
As soon as I move though, I notice something else. Another pulsing sensation. But this pulsing isn’t coming from me… it’s coming from James.
Pinned between us and pushed up against my sex, his cock pulses against me like a strong heartbeat.
Turning my head to the left, I look at his face.
He’s still asleep.
His expression peaceful, his breathing slow and deep.
Just like when he’s happy, in his sleep, he looks so much younger. So much softer and less threatening.
You’d never guess at the darkness that lurks beneath that beautiful face.
Not until he opens his eyes, at least.
And that face…
It’s strange, but I swear, somehow, he’s becoming more and more handsome every day. It could be that it’s just now hitting me because of my grief. Slowly creeping up on me…
But a part of me wonders if it’s not something else. Something I can’t explain.
I watch him for a few minutes, wondering what he’s dreaming about. What runs through his unconscious brain.
Does he dream of puppies?
Does he dream of killing people?
Or does he dream of me?
Obsessing over me even in his sleep?
A couple of days ago, the thought alone would be frightening. But now… now that I’m finally starting to realize I would be fucking lost without him, I find it heavy and heady.
So damn heavy and heady, I can’t help but squirm again. Not because I’m uncomfortable. No, I’m not the least bit uncomfortable now.
I’m squirming with growing need.
With the way my core is throbbing and clenching, I’m surprised I didn’t wake up again, molesting him in my sleep.
Last night I had to have his weight on top of me to keep me from floating away.
Today I want him inside me again, stretching and filling me until I feel whole and complete.
Turning my head, I start to rub my cheek against his shoulder and whisper his name. “James.”
I want him to wake up, but I don’t want to yank him harshly out of his dreams.