Something unfamiliar burned her eyes.
Tears? Couldn’t be.
She hadn’t even cried when she caught her husband in bed with another woman.
Not when she realized he no longer wanted the same things as her.
Not when she found out another woman was carrying her husband’s baby.
Not even when he tried to take half of her house.
Hell no. She had gotten angry.
She wasn’t going to wallow in self-pity. She had regrouped, spanked him in the divorce and got right back on her life’s path before the ink was even dry on the divorce papers.
But in all that time, she never considered her failed marriage might have been because of her. Not once. Until now.
She stared up at Deacon as he came to stand in front of her. “Maybe it was my fault. Maybe I drove him away.”
“He tell you that?”
“After I caught him, he said he didn’t want to wait to start a family. And he decided he wanted something different for his life than what he originally wanted.”
“Then it wasn’t your fault.”
“But I didn’t even try to compromise. The person who gets paid to mediate didn’t even try.”
“Would you’ve changed your path for him?”
She tilted her head and thought about it. “I had a goal and I was working toward that. So, no, I wouldn’t have, even before finding out he was cheating.”
“He changed. You didn’t. You knew what you wanted. He didn’t. He just decided he wasn’t gonna tell you things changed. That’s a dick move.” Deacon held out his hand to her.
She stared at it for a couple seconds, then put hers in his. He engulfed his large hand around hers and pulled her to her feet until they were eye to eye. Almost. He was taller than her without her heels on.
“Know what I say?” he murmured, dragging his thumb over her bottom lip.
“What?” she asked softly.
“Fuck that asshole. He fucked up a good thing. Know what else?” He dropped his head a little lower so the warmth of his breath kissed her lips when he talked.
“What?”
“If I ever see him, I’m gonna thank him.”
“For what?”
“For being a stupid ass and lettin’ you go. ‘Cause if he hadn’t, I wouldn’t be gettin’ ready to fuck you on your livin’ room floor.”
“On the floor? Why on the floor?” What was wrong with the lounge chair? Having sex with him in the house would feel like they were taking a step toward...
Toward she didn’t know what and wasn’t sure she wanted to find out.
“Gonna show you why,” he growled, which made her nipples instantly harden and her pussy pulse.
“I’m not sure—”
He swallowed her complaint when he crushed his mouth to hers, shoving his fingers into her hair and tilting her face up even higher. The seal tightened between their lips and he swept his tongue along hers.
How did he get to be such a great kisser? Since when did merely a kiss make everything in and on her quiver?
Since when did the rough scrape of wiry facial hair turn her on?
Since when did tattoos stop making her think twice about a man?
She groaned.
He probably thought she was groaning from the kiss, while, in actuality, it was from her own thoughts. From the idea of getting involved with a man who wasn’t on the same path as her. Not even close.
She couldn’t afford to do that again.
No. They were just having sex. That was all.
A little detour in the bumpy road of life.
She reminded herself she should be allowed to have moments which didn’t involve growing her business or being successful. She should be allowed to have moments where she could just let her hair down and forget about being a responsible adult.
And that was what these moments with Deacon were. Nothing more.
Right?
They were sexually attracted to each other and the only reason this was even happening. A sort of friends with benefits type of thing, except without the friends part. Forced roommates, more like it.
Deacon wasn’t the kind of man who would push for more, anyway. He was a player who bounced from woman to woman. Because of that, she wouldn’t have to worry about him wanting more.
So, yes, she could allow herself what they had without feeling guilty or feeling pressured for anything more.
As their tongues tangled, her nipples began to ache for his attention and a warmth spread through her belly. A trickle of arousal slipped from her and dampened her panties.
Yes, that was how turned on he made her with simply a kiss.
Okay, maybe it wasn’t a simple kiss, they were sort of eating each other’s faces. She grinned against his mouth, but that grin slipped away as he kissed her harder and deeper, at the same time walking her backwards. Slowly. Carefully.
To the French doors behind her.
To the floor where he stated he’d fuck her. He’d fuck her.
The last few nights she’d been on top, been in the driver’s seat. Tonight, he hinted he wanted to switch that around.