* * *
Raphael couldn’t forget that if he wanted to. He’d spent the night tossing and turning, thinking about Isabella and their relationship. So much for wishing for her to come to London, and to work with him. He’d got what he’d asked for all right, he groaned as he snapped off the vinyl gloves he wore and dropped them in the theatre’s bin.
At 6:10 they’d caught the same train into the hospital, Izzy up early and ready to go long before he’d got his act together. She’d even looked more focused than he’d felt. But the usual evidence of her not getting through the night without going down to the kitchen had been there when he’d finally made it to the coffee machine—all primed and ready to share its life-saving liquid. Maybe she hadn’t gone to bed at all.
His work phone buzzed. It was Jacki. Can you look in on Milly Frost sooner than later?
So he wasn’t going to avoid seeing Izzy throughout the day. Not that he could avoid going on the ward for eight hours, but thankfully surgery had kept him busy until now. ‘So much for lunch,’ he muttered as he dried his hands and checked his tie in the mirror.
‘Should’ve studied grass growing if you wanted meals at set hours,’ one of the theatre nurses quipped.
‘See you back here, hopefully on time,’ he threw over his shoulder as he headed out of the theatre suite.
‘Isabella noticed the foetal heart rate’s stressed,’ the head nurse explained when he strode into Milly’s room. ‘I’ve checked and agree.’
Jacki would’ve been keeping a close eye on everything Isabella did today. It was always a strain taking on new staff, no matter how highly recommended they came. Raphael nodded. ‘I’ll listen to the heartbeat as well.’ Three heads were better than one. Finding a smile he turned to his patient. ‘Hello, Milly. Aaron.’ He nodded at the woman’s husband. ‘I understand your labour is going well, but baby might be distressed. I’m going to listen to the heart and watch the screen here to get a clear picture of what’s happening.’ If Isabella and Jacki were correct, he and Milly would be going to Theatre shortly, and as those two nurses were good at what they did, and wouldn’t have made a mistake, he had an unexpected operation ahead of him. Nothing unusual in that, just meant he’d be later getting home. Again, nothing unusual, but for the first time in years, he regretted it.
Thought you were wanting time away from Izzy?
Face it. He didn’t have a clue what he wanted.
‘Is Evie going to be all right?’ Fear darkened Milly’s eyes as she scrabbled around for Aaron’s hand.
Milly’s question put him back on track. ‘Let’s see what’s happening before I answer that.’
On the other side of the bed Isabella was lifting back the sheet in preparation to pull Milly’s gown up and expose her baby tummy. Then, ‘Another contraction, Milly?’ As their patient rocked forward, pain marring her face and tightening her grip on her husband’s hand, Isabella rubbed her back and waited for the spasm to pass.
Raphael also waited, watching the screen on the foetal heart rate monitor. Thankfully baby’s heart rate did not slow any further during the contraction so no recovery afterwards, but it was already too slow and the contraction had done nothing to alter what was going on with baby. Next he listened through his stethoscope. ‘Has baby been moving as much as usual?’
‘Not for the last little while,’ Milly cried. ‘I didn’t say anything. I thought he was resting. We’ve been going at this for a few hours now. It’s all my fault.’
‘It’s nobody’s fault.’ Had there been any indicators he should’ve seen earlier? Before labour started? No. He knew there weren’t, and playing the blame game did no one any favours. ‘I see Isabella’s noted he slowed down very recently.’ He straightened up and delivered the news Milly and Aaron would not want to hear. Even though saving their daughter’s life was the priority this wasn’t how they’d planned on welcoming their baby into the world. ‘I’m going to do a C-section. Baby’s distressed and it isn’t safe to leave her in there.’
‘Is Evie going to be all right?’ Milly repeated, this time with fear echoing around the room.
‘Is our daughter in danger?’ Aaron shouted.
This never got any easier. ‘Surgery is the safest option. There’s some risk of meconium being in the amniotic fluid. I don’t want her breathing that in, so urgency is required. Isabella will prepare you to go down to Theatre, while I go organise the emergency team and scrub up, Milly.’ He paused for a moment, fully expecting a load of questions, but the parents were both stunned—gripping their joined hands and staring at each other in raw silence. ‘Isabella—’ he nodded ‘—stay with Milly and Aaron until they go into Theatre.’ Then he was striding away, talking on his phone to the head theatre nurse. ‘My next procedure has changed. Urgent C-section to save full-term baby.’
‘Do you want to cancel any surgery on this afternoon’s list?’ Kelly was very matter of fact. No wasting time on trivia.
‘Not at this point. Let’s see how we go.’ Which meant he’d do all the listed procedures. Cancelling an operation was hard on patients when they were mentally prepared to go under the knife. He reached the scrub room and began preparing, his mind busy with every step of the procedure he’d done innumerable times. Milly and Aaron’s daughter was going to get every chance on offer and more.
Evie Frost was delivered within minutes of Milly reaching Theatre. Raphael checked her breathing for abnormalities, and gave the mother a smile. ‘All good. No meconium in her lungs.’ Relief thumped behind his ribs. ‘Evie’s heart rate’s normal for all she’s been through.’ He watched as a nurse handed Milly her daughter, and felt the familiar lump of awe build in his throat. New parenthood was wonderful, special. There weren’t enough words to describe the amazement covering mums’ and dads’ faces when they met their child for the first time. Aaron was looking gobsmacked. Love spilled out of his gaze as he stared at his wife and daughter.
Raphael moved away. Despite how often he’d witnessed that scene it never grew stale. The awe he’d known the day Pierre slid into his shaking hands had never left him. That tiny boy had grown into a wonderful, strong lad with a great enthusiasm for life and an abundance of confidence. Raphael felt proud for being a part of his arrival, although he’d actually done little more than make his cousin comfortable and catch Pierre as he shot out into the world.
‘Well done.’ Kelly walked alongside him.
‘Thanks. He’s a little beauty.’ He’d done a good job for baby and parents. Then the usual flip side of the euphoria hit. Anger filled him. What about his baby? What had he looked like? Who did he follow? Blond or dark? Short or tall? Cassie had refused to tell him anything, saying it was best he didn’t know. Best for who? She’d never answered that question. He spun away, headed for the lift. He needed air and no friendly faces while he swallowed this particular pill yet again.
Then he’d return to Theatre and lose himself in work.
* * *
When Raphael called in on Milly after his last operation for the day Isabella was there. ‘Evie’s so cute. But then I say that about them all.’ She’d been keeping a close eye on mum and baby all afternoon.
Now she and Raphael moved out of the little room to stand in the corridor. ‘You ever think about having your own brood?’ It was one thing Izzy had never talked about. Probably because it hadn’t been an issue until she’d married Darren and then he hadn’t wanted to hear her say yes. As for him,
yes, he’d wanted children. Still did, but... Joshua, his little boy he’d never met... How did he cope with getting someone pregnant and waiting out the nine months until he got to hold his child? He was watching Izzy, wondering what she would say even as he dealt with his own pain.
She blinked, appeared to think about it. ‘I’ve always presumed I would one day, and thought it would come about when I married. Now, I can’t say I’ve been planning on it happening any time soon, if at all. It’s filed with other things I hope to get to do some time, and when I do, be grateful if all goes according to plan.’
In this job they saw enough times when people’s dreams of having a family went horribly wrong to know there were no guarantees. But was she referring to that, or her expectations for her future? Not asking. Not here anyway. ‘What will be, will be,’ he quoted.
Isabella nodded. ‘Everyone thinks it’s a given we’ll get pregnant when we want to, but working in this job I’ve learnt how wrong that assumption can be.’ Then she shrugged and perked up. ‘We’re being glum when there’s a very lucky little girl in there with two of the happiest people in the world.’
‘True. Weren’t you meant to knock off an hour ago?’ He still had patients to see, but surgery was finished, and suddenly he was exhausted. That often happened after a big day in Theatre and on the ward. Especially after a sleepless night. Add in the confusion Izzy was causing him and he was screwed. ‘Feel like picking up some Italian on the way home? I’ll be at least another hour.’
‘I’ll get the take-out and see you at home.’
At home. A soft sigh escaped.
If only you knew, Isabella Nicholson.
Putting his hand in his pocket for his wallet, he smiled when she shook her head.
‘My shout.’
‘Fair enough.’ He knew better than to argue. He wouldn’t win. ‘See you later.’ The sooner he checked on his patients, the sooner he could go home. Home. The connotations of that word had never been so huge. So frightening. Yet the need to settle grew the more time he spent with Isabella. She wasn’t the only one wanting to find that special place in life. At least she’d made a start at getting on with it. Wouldn’t it be great if he and Izzy could get what they wanted—together?