‘Fine, Doctor. I’ve been walking up and down the ward for thirty minutes and while the wound is painful I got along quite well.’
‘Very well, from what I saw,’ Stacey added.
‘Don’t get too carried away,’ Noah told his patient. ‘After such a deep tear, that calf muscle is going to take time to fully heal.’
It was a typical ward round, and afterwards Noah stayed a few minutes, talking about his patients, dropping in a few smiles for her when he thought no one was looking.
Though Liz seemed to notice everything. ‘You sure you haven’t got something going with our hot surgeon?’ she asked as Stacey tried not to watch Noah striding along to the lift, his shoulders back and his head high.
Stacey wasn’t sure about anything except she was falling deeper in love with Noah, and still didn’t know where they were headed. ‘It’s great catching up with him again.’
Liz snorted. ‘I might not be the brightest lightbulb in the room but I ain’t blind.’
She laughed. What else could she do? If she said anything Liz would put her own interpretation on it and probably be closer to the truth than Stacey wanted anyone to get.
* * *
They managed two shared breakfasts over the week, her parents enthusiastically pushing her out the door with promises of getting Holly up and fed before taking her to the nursery or settling down for the day at home with Granddad. Stacey skipped onto the train and off at the other end, racing to the hospital cafeteria for toast and coffee, and time with Noah, deliberately forgetting the issues between them. It was great just to have time alone with him. And in the evenings, after dinner was over, the dishes were stacked in the dishwasher, and she’d read the requisite stories to Holly, she’d phone Noah. ‘How was your day, apart from a perforated lung and an appendectomy?’
‘You missed out the three hernias.’
‘They didn’t come to our ward. Holly said goodnight to Daddy tonight.’
‘She did? Cool.’ Noah sighed. For the first time in days he sounded irritated.
‘Something wrong?’ she asked, apprehension tightening her throat.
‘What do you want? How do you see this working out? Why haven’t you said anything about this, Anastasia?’
Anastasia, but not the having-fun one. Pounding set up behind her ribs. This discussion had been lurking in the background even during the fun moments, no matter how hard she’d tried to deny it. ‘I’ve been giving you time to come to terms with being a dad.’
‘Right. I’m there. Tell me what you want.’
‘It’s hard. I’ve been Holly’s mother all her short life, been there for her all the time other than when I’ve gone to work. I can’t imagine any other way to raise my child.’ She certainly didn’t want to divide the time with her father.
‘She has two parents now.’
‘I know what that entails. I really do.’ She could hardly say she wanted to be with him as his partner or wife. He’d gag on that.
There was a silence that seemed to get heavier by the second. Then, ‘We’ll talk over the weekend.’
‘Okay.’ She could let it go for now and enjoy the relief of not coming to a final decision just yet. More time to enjoy as a solo parent.
* * *
Noah found a bottle of headache pills and swallowed two. His head had been pounding all morning. The week had been long and tedious. All he’d wanted was to spend time with Anastasia; to make love, to talk and laugh and share everything. Okay, he’d fallen for her fast. Too fast? Or had this been three years in the making and now he’d caught up with her he wanted to make up for lost time? That was more likely the answer, and the deeper in love he became, the more the warning bells tolled. What if he was wrong? Well, today he was about to find out, as Anastasia and Holly would be here soon.
Anastasia had been completely honest with him about Holly. She seemed to enjoy his company, giving him a sense that she had feelings for him beyond a friend who had a child with her. She didn’t appear to be out for all she could get. She hadn’t gone all simpering or gushing when he’d shown her around the house, hadn’t made overtures about how Holly would be happy here and how she’d have to accompany her daughter if she was to spend time with him.
Yet the past kept waving at him, reminding him how easily he’d been duped before. But Anastasia didn’t know coldness of the heart. It wasn’t in her. What if they married? Would she make demands on him as his ex had? Would she always be wanting more and more, never satisfied with what she had? Given how she was happy with the little she did have, he couldn’t see her changing radically. On the other hand, suddenly finding herself well off might be a catalyst to going overboard and needing to spend large and become fixated with the whole lifestyle he was desperate to avoid.
Ding-dong. The doorbell rang out.
His heart lifted. Anastasia and his daughter were here. Their daughter. He had to let go of the past if he wanted to find true happiness, something he suspected was on his doorstep right now if only he found the courage to follow his heart. He would be the one to lose out if he got this wrong. And the last thing he wanted to lose was Anastasia. She was his other half, if only she recognised that. She had to. He finally had. Deep breath. Yes, damn it. He did. He loved Stacey and Holly.
Pulling the door wide, he gazed at the two females who had his head in a spin. It wasn’t hard to smile wide and deep. ‘Hey, come in. I’m glad you’re here.’ He really was. All the doubts had taken a back seat the moment his gaze came to rest on Anastasia. Leaning in, he kissed her briefly.
Her return kiss was quieter than he’d become used to, and he’d have thought she’d changed her mind about being with him if he hadn’t seen the flicker of need in her eyes. Closing the door, he led them down to the kitchen and the alcove on the side where he’d set out an array of toys he’d bought during the week.
Holly made a beeline for them and plopped down on her backside, reaching for the doll dressed in pink.
‘That’s a hit.’ Anastasia smiled, the visible tightness in her shoulders loosening as she sat on a stool at the counter.
‘Coffee?’
‘You’re a lifesaver. There wasn’t any at home. Someone stuffed up the shopping yesterday.’
‘Whose job is it usually?’ From what he’d seen, the Wainwrights seemed to share all the chores around the house.
‘Anyone who has an hour to spare. Which wasn’t me, what with taking Holly to see the paediatrician after I finished my shift.’
‘She got a good report.’ Anastasia had filled him in last night. ‘Hard to keep her down, isn’t it?’
‘Sure is. I hope you haven’t got anything precious lying around at her level.’ She scoped the room.
‘I spent time putting things out of reach this morning.’
When Holly became bored with the toys, they took her into the sitting room with the piano and she created noise that only doting parents could cope with. After lunch they strolled along the streets and when Holly grizzled Noah piggy-backed her the rest of the way.
‘She needs to have a sleep,’ Anastasia said as they returned to the house.
‘I’ve set up the room next to my office as a bedroom for now.’ Breath held, he waited to see what her reaction would be.
‘Lovely, thank you.’
She lifted Holly down from his back. ‘Hey, darling, how was that?’
‘Good. Daddy horse.’
He laughed. ‘I’ve got my uses. I’ll fetch your bag. I presume you need it to change Holly.’
‘Thanks.’ Anastasia was totally focused on her girl.
He felt almost redundant but then she was used to doing all this herself. Even when her parents were at home she did most of it, she’d told him. I am her mum.
It would be different if they were together, living under the same roof, sharing the responsibilities. He’d definitely do his
share of whatever was required. Damn it, he wanted to be doing it now.
‘Here.’ He walked into Holly’s room and handed Anastasia the bag, the questions churning in his head. He knew what he wanted, he didn’t know if he could ask for it. ‘How long will Holly sleep?’
‘About two hours, if I’m lucky.’