She sat up straight. Made to stand. Smiled enticingly at Tom.
Stella loomed into view. ‘I’ll show Fiona where the staff bathrooms are. That way you can both get showered straight away. I’m sure Fiona wants to get some sleep as soon as possible.’
Confusion creased Tom’s face, darkened his eyes. ‘Not necessary. Fiona can use the cottage bathroom first. I’ve got a couple of things to attend to here before I call it quits.’
Fiona stumbled to the bench with her dirty plate and cup, dropped them into the sink and carelessly rinsed them, her heart slowing. The more time she spent with Tom, the harder it became to control her feelings for him.
That had been desire she’d seen in Tom’s eyes a few minutes ago. She knew him only too well to be wrong.
Tom stamped down the corridor to the outside door leading out into the expansive grounds. He needed air, and plenty of it.
Once again he’d been sidetracked by Fiona. She had a knack of making him feel as though he was coming alive for the very first time in years. Her very presence made him understand he had a lot to live for. Back there in the cafeteria he’d been in that shower with her. He’d wanted to wash her back, her arms, those legs he’d always got so turned on over. Damn it. He had to stop this.
Fiona had been turned on, he’d swear. Her eyes had widened in that misty kind of way they had. Her breasts had pushed against the thick layers of clothing she wore, reminding him of their warm fullness and satin smoothness in his larger, rougher hands.
The banging of the door behind him echoed in the freezing air. The snow had stopped; the wind had died down. In the dark, the white blanket lying over the lawns was eerie wherever lights from inside shone through the windows. He loved this place. Even in extreme weather conditions it was beautiful. Right now, when the storm had passed and everything lay quiet and still, this was when he loved it the most.
But Fiona had him thinking about other things. She’d become the wild card in his carefully put-together life. And he didn’t know how to deal with this.
He knew what he wanted to do. He ached to race back to his cottage, throw open the shower door and step in with her. He’d slide his arms around under her breasts. He’d take the soap from her hand and lather those soft mounds. Her nipples would grow taut and she’d arch her back, leaning against him, her bottom sliding against his erection.
He’d turn her around, his mouth finding hers so he could kiss her until she couldn’t control herself. That was when she’d hook her legs up around his waist, and take him into her. And they’d be completely together again.
That was how he wanted to deal with the turbulent emotions she had set off inside him. But he wasn’t going to do any of that. Making love would not solve a thing. Since working with Fiona to release Dave Fergusson from that crushed wreck he found he couldn’t still the sensation that he was missing some point. He’d hated it when she’d put herself at risk. The fear was an old feeling—one he’d known whenever she flew her plane. She’d told him she didn’t take risks any more, and compared to what she used to do climbing into that wreck had been fairly tame. She’d been careful of herself and her patient. It was the same care she’d taken with all her patients this week.
He liked this new Fiona. His feelings weren’t just about love and lust, but about friendship and caring. Scary stuff. He wasn’t ready for anything like this.
Which was why he’d go back into the hospital and use the bathroom put aside for medical staff. A cold shower might do the trick. At least his heart should be safe there for a short while.
Chapter Nine
‘HEY, Sophie, how’re you doing?’ Fiona sat on the end of the girl’s bed and stifled a yawn. Tom had been right. Exhaustion had hit her after the early breakfast, and the three hours’ sleep she’d managed hadn’t been nearly enough.
Sophie lowered the teen magazine she’d been flicking through in a desultory fashion. ‘I’m bored. Dad’s gone to the shops to get me some more magazines, but I’m sick of reading.’
‘How about getting up and going to see the other kids stuck in bed? Some of the little ones are getting fidgety too, and they would love to see someone new.’
‘I’d scare them with this face.’
‘Sophie! Shame on you. You’re beautiful, remember?’ Fiona struggled to keep the sorrow out of her voice. It wouldn’t help Sophie to know that her surgeon felt sad for her. ‘Every one of these kids has got scars they’re dealing with. You’re not alone. They need their confidence boosted, just like you, and I happen to think you’re the right person to do that.’
‘One scarred person to another, you mean?’
‘Exactly.’ Fiona refused to let Sophie’s self-pity rule her. ‘You understand what these kids are feeling. And the big thing is you’re not much older than most of them, so they will relate to you far more than they can to me.’
‘What would I say to them?’ Sophie bit her fingernail.
‘You don’t have to say anything unless they specifically ask you a question, and then it’s more likely to be about you than them. Read to them, or play a game of cards.’
‘That’s all?’ There was a glimmer of hope in the girl’s eyes.
Fiona knew Sophie felt nervous about approaching strangers, even those younger than herself. ‘Come on—out of bed. We’re going visiting.’
‘Can’t I get dressed? I look silly walking around in my bathrobe.’
A delaying tactic. ‘All your new friends are in their pyjamas. Anyway, I’m due in surgery in the next twenty minutes and haven’t got time to wait while you get all glammed up.’
Sophie suddenly grinned at her. ‘I’m young. It doesn’t take that long.’
‘As in I’m not so young, and need a concrete mixer for the amount of make-up I require? Brat.’ Fiona knuckled her affectionately on the arm.
With Sophie well wrapped up in a deep green robe covered in dancing teddy bears they headed for the room next door, where two little girls sat in their beds giggling over something Fiona couldn’t make any sense of.
‘They’re so cute,’ Sophie whispered. ‘What’s wrong with them?’
The girls did look absolutely adorable. Fiona sighed, longing tugging at her. For a child. The longing quickly became a fierce pang, slamming through her. Until now she’d never believed that she’d ever want to be a mother again. Yet right now she’d give her heart to have another baby.
How could she think like this and not feel guilty about Liam? She should feel she was being unfaithful to her child by wanting another, but she didn’t.
Her throat ached where her heart had lodged itself, pumping wildly. Her? Have another baby? Oh, yes. She breathed out slowly. But what if it died? She mightn’t be strong enough to deal with that agony again. Then again, what if it grew up healthy and happy? Wouldn’t that be wonderful?
‘Hello? Fiona? Where have you gone?’ Sophie waved her hand in front of Fiona’s face.
‘Sorry,’ she gasped, and struggled to gather her thoughts. What had they been talking about?
‘The little girls, what did they have done?’
Ahh. ‘Nina had a skin graft on her thigh. She’s the fair one. Jessie had some surgery on her ears. Now, come talk to them.’ Fiona led Sophie forward to meet the now inquisitive youngsters.
By the time she left ten minutes later plenty of laughter could be heard coming from the room as a game of Happy Families got underway.
She poked her head around the next door to say hello to Shaun, but found his bed empty.
‘He’s down in the library with his mum,’ Liz told her when she asked at the nurses’ station. ‘He’s a lot happier today, now that his sore throat is responding to those different antibiotics you prescribed.’
‘Good. How’s his appetite? Any improvement?’
‘Not really, but Tom had some more bloods drawn and sent to Christchurch for testing. We haven’t had any results back other than the positive EBV result for glandular fever.’
‘What did To
m ask for?’
The man himself answered from the head nurse’s room behind the station. ‘I’m checking his hormones and liver functions.’
Crossing to the doorway, Fiona leaned against the frame-work. Tom looked exhausted. He couldn’t have got much sleep this morning, wherever he’d gone. He hadn’t been back to the cottage at all. A night on the bed in his consulting room?
‘Shaun’s LFTs will be abnormal since he has glandular fever.’ She’d stick to being professional. ‘Or do you think there’s been an underlying liver dysfunction going on for a lot longer?’
‘It crossed my mind. Although he’s not jaundiced, it could be he’s got a chronic condition. Hopefully we’ll know later today, when the next batch of results comes through. The lab’s running behind with those particular tests. I’d have expected them by now.’
Liz spoke over Fiona’s shoulder. ‘I’ll ring and ask about them.’