Their mouths became one, moulded together, while their tongues got reacquainted.
I remember this.
Ben pulled her closer still so there was only the bedcover between them. All the while they kissed. Her eyes were wide open, watching him, drinking in every line, each eyebrow hair, his eyes that were watching her back. Benji.
This was us.
Kissing Benji had always been her favourite way to start the day. His passion and love set her up and made her feel good. Like she was beginning to feel now. Warmth stole from their joined mouths, moved down to her breasts and the peaks that were tightening. Down to her stomach and beyond to that place that needed Ben, had missed him for so long, was moistening in readiness for him. Could they find the way back to each other? Right now anything seemed possible.
‘Hell.’ Ben pulled away and flopped onto his back. ‘Sorry.’
Talk about poking a needle into a balloon. Tori sat up. ‘You’re sorry?’ That was about as insulting as it could get. The fact that they shouldn’t have been kissing had nothing to do with anything. Worse, she wanted him so badly her body ached with need. All because of one kiss. A passionate kiss filled with memories and all the things she’d missed for so long.
Ben got off the bed, picked up his shoes. Turned to lock his eyes on her. ‘Yes, I am because I know it’s not what you want—despite your ardent reaction.’
Heat coloured her cheeks. She’d been that obvious, huh? Of course she had. ‘It’s not what you want, either, Ben.’ It’s over. We don’t belong together. The words she’d never forgotten had finally found the right moment to remind her of the truth. Ben had left her, and had gone as far away as he could possibly get. They weren’t getting back together so that meant they weren’t even having a brief interlude filled with kisses—or sex. But a girl could hope for different.
He sat on a chair and shoved his feet into his shoes. As he knotted the laces he growled, ‘I’ve been wanting to kiss you from the moment I said hello on the first morning of the conference.’
And now that you have? Her mouth opened but there were no words to combat this startling revelation. He couldn’t have wanted that. Not after all this time. But you came awake to him in an instant. Why shouldn’t Ben be the same?
‘One kiss wasn’t enough, Tori.’ Standing up, he headed for the door. ‘Meet you in the lobby in half an hour.’
The door clicked shut behind him. Tori stared around the room. Had Ben really been here? Or had she dreamt everything? That would be worse, dreaming he might want her. That would show her own fantasies were way off track. They weren’t meant to get back together. One sniff of the pillow he’d used and she had all the proof she needed. Burying her face in the softness that held his particular scent, she gave in to the longing that had gripped her from the moment she’d first heard him say her name four days ago.
Ben hadn’t said anything about getting back together. He’d only wanted to kiss her. Relationships were more than a kiss. Or multiple kisses.
Her fingers covered her lips as she stumbled into the bathroom. But kisses were how relationships started. Yeah, and they finished with harsh, hurtful words. Words she’d better remember.
* * *
Ben was still berating himself over kissing Tori when they got out of the taxi outside the hospital. How could he have done that? How could he have been foolish enough to say it hadn’t been enough?
Because when she’d blinked at him with those sleep-filled eyes there was nothing on this planet that could’ve stopped him. The need to kiss her had been steadily building up all the time they’d been here. Add in the stress of John’s sudden near-death and he’d been a lost cause. Waking up in her room, on her bed, with her right beside him, had thrown him, addling his usually sharp brain.
But that kiss... His heart squeezed. Tori. It had taken years to get some semblance of normality in his life, and now he’d be starting over.
Reaching for Rita’s bag at the same time as Tori, their fingers touched and Tori withdrew fast. ‘I’ll take that,’ he muttered.
‘Fine.’ Her shoulders were taut as she led the way inside to the elevators.
He wasn’t going to let her keep this up. She’d been as much a part of that kiss as he had. Sure, he’d started it, but not once had she hesitated. He’d have stopped if she had. They were adults, they could get past this and be friends again. As much as they’d been friends before. ‘When are you planning on heading to Paris?’
Tori’s shoulders lifted on a sigh. ‘Tomorrow.’
Not good enough, Tori. ‘Flying?’
‘Train.’
‘So what were your plans for today? Before John’s heart attack happened?’
She stepped into the elevator and turned to him. Tears glittered on her eyelashes. ‘I had a sightseeing trip booked.’ Her hand dashed across her eyes. ‘But that’s the last thing I feel like doing now. I’ll sit with Rita, or with John while she has a sleep if that’s what she wants.’
You and me both. But why the tears? ‘Good luck with that. Rita will have her own agenda.’ Like coming up with suggestions about how he and Tori should spend their day together. He’d have to tell Rita to back off on that one, that he’d sort out his relationship himself.
Tori shook her head and that glorious hair swirled over her back. ‘She’s tough, isn’t she?’ Blink, blink.
‘Why are you crying? Or trying desperately not to?’ He hated it when she cried, felt her pain and wanted to banish it. He’d always felt as though he was to blame, that he should’ve kept her so happy there’d be no need for tears.
Her eyes met his. ‘You know what? I’m not entirely sure. These past fourteen hours have been a bit of an emotional roller coaster.’
That included their kiss, right? ‘I agree.’
‘Ben, I don’t understand what’s going on.’
He knew she had to be talking about them. It was there in her face, in the pain and confusion. He’d seen that in those very eyes before. On the day he’d told her he was leaving. The day he’d readily expunge from their lives if there was a chance to rewrite their history.
The elevator glided to a stop and the door slid open. Taking Tori’s elbow, he led her out and along the wide corridor to Intensive Care. Just before they reached the nurses’ station to check if it was okay to visit, he told Tori, ‘I’m not sure I understand everything, either, but I’d like the opportunity to find out.’ His bottom lip was unsteady when he drew a breath. ‘Would you spend some time with me in Paris, Tori? See if we can’t come up an answer?’
The breath he’d drawn stuck in his lungs, making the intercostal muscles hurt as he waited, and waited. Her eyes had widened with surprise—or shock. But she hadn’t run away like he was a madman.
Finally, just when he thought he’d need medical intervention to start breathing again, she said so quietly he hoped he heard correctly, ‘I’d like that.’
‘G
ood. Great.’ The air whooshed over his lips that were already curving up into a smile. He had to haul the brakes on that smile in case he came across as too keen. But he was eager to get started on this journey with Tori, to see where it led them. Back to what they’d once had seemed too much to hope for; anything less seemed too horrible to contemplate. Tori. His wife. He didn’t think of her as his ex. That seemed too impersonal, or full of angry emotions that weren’t there in their case, or wrong. Yes, definitely wrong. ‘Where do we start?’ he muttered, more to himself than her.
‘Let’s go and see John.’ Tori was being ever practical. ‘We might be staying in Nice for a few days yet.’
A nurse went to inform Rita that they were back and returned to say they could both go in as Rita would like to have a shower and try to sleep a bit.
Rita hugged them both. Her eyes were red and puffy. ‘The doctors have been around. Monsieur Leclare came with them and interpreted everything for us. John’s scheduled to have two angioplasty stents inserted in his artery tomorrow.’ Fear filled her weary eyes. ‘He will be all right, won’t he?’ She stared from him to Tori and back to him.
Ben slipped an arm around her shoulders. ‘That’s standard procedure for blocked arteries.’
John muttered from the bed, ‘I’ll be up and about sooner than you can believe.’
Ben nodded and asked Rita, ‘Did Luc explain to you how the stent’s put in?’
‘You mean about putting the wire into his artery at the groin and pushing the stent up to the blockage? Yes. That’s spooky, but if it’s what’s done then let’s get it over with as soon as possible.’ Rita took the tissues Tori was handing her and glared down at her husband. ‘Hopefully then you won’t have another heart attack.’
‘You’re going to have to change his diet.’ Ben couldn’t help himself, even when he knew both John and Rita would be fully aware of that. It was just too important to ignore.