Strong arms wrapped around her, held her close to his hard body. The rough beating of his heart against her ear echoed her own. Jackson’s sharp breaths lifted strands of her hair and wafted them over her face. ‘I’d like to promise I’ll be back, but that’d be selfish. I honestly don’t know what’s ahead.’

Lifting her head just enough to see his face, she told him, ‘I understand. Truly. It’s not as if you lied to me. Golden Bay has never been big enough for you.’

‘It will be a lot harder leaving this time than it was at eighteen. There’s so much that’s important to me here.’ His hand rubbed circles over her shoulder blades.

She raised a pathetic chuckle. ‘At eighteen you left in such a hurry you scorched the road.’

‘True. If only I hadn’t made that promise to Juliet.’

She pulled out of that comforting hold and slashed a hand over her wet cheeks. ‘I’d better go check on Constance and Abigail.’

He looked hesitant.

She put him out of his misery. ‘Go home, Jackson. I won’t be long and then I’ll be doing the same thing.’ Which meant collecting Nicholas from his parents’ house. This just got harder and harder.

‘Jess...’ He hesitated. ‘It might be in both our interests if I leave for Asia sooner than I’d planned.’

She gasped. She hadn’t seen that coming. ‘What about Virginia? She’ll be upset.’

Wincing, he replied, ‘I’ll talk to her, explain, hopefully make her understand. After all, it was Mum who taught me to be honest and to live by my beliefs. But I will come home often, no more staying away for years on end.’

She had no answer to that. Her heart ached so badly it felt as though it was disintegrating inside her chest. ‘Will I see you before you go?’

Shock widened his eyes, tightened his mouth. He reached for her, took her shoulders and tugged her close. ‘Most definitely. I won’t walk away without saying goodbye.’

For the second time since he’d turned up here she spun away and put space between them. Goodbye? A cruel word. A harsh reality for her future. A bleak future without Jackson in it. Behind her the truck door slammed shut and the engine turned over. She didn’t look as he drove away. If she did she’d have started running, chasing the truck, begging him to stop and talk to her some more.

She didn’t even know his feelings for her. Somewhere along the way she’d started to think he might care for her a lot, even love her a little. Not that knowing would have changed what happened, but it might’ve been a slight salve for her battered heart.

* * *

At seven o’clock on Tuesday morning Jess woke with a thumping headache. The alarm was loud in her quiet bedroom. She’d lain awake until about four then drifted into a fitful sleep. Now all she wanted to do was stick her head under the covers and go back to sleep, where she wouldn’t notice Jackson leaving.

‘Mummy, I got myself up.’ Nicholas bounced onto her bed, creating havoc inside her skull.

‘Good for you, sweetheart. What are you going to have for breakfast today?’ She wouldn’t be able to swallow a thing. When would her appetite return?

‘Toast with honey. Can I cook it by myself?’

That had her sitting up too fast, her head spinning like a cricket ball in flight. ‘Wait until I’m out there with you.’ Slipping into her heavy robe, she tied the belt at her waist and followed him out to the kitchen.

While Nicholas made toast, along with the usual mess, she drank a cup of tea that threatened to come back up any moment.

A knock on the back door sent Nicholas rushing to open it. ‘Mummy, it’s Jackson.’

She tried to stand up, she really did, but her legs failed her. Her hands gripped her mug of tea as her eyes tracked Jackson as he entered the room and came towards her. Dressed in superbly cut trousers and jacket, he looked like something out of a glossy magazine, not the man in shorts and T-shirt she’d been knocking around with for the last couple of months.

‘Jess.’

‘Jackson.’

He’d dropped in last night to tell her he was flying out today, bound for Auckland, and on to Hong Kong on Saturday. Said it was for the best. That’s what she’d spent most of the night trying to figure out—how could it be good for him or for her?

‘Jackson, I made my own breakfast.’ Nicholas seemed impervious to the mood in the room.

‘That’s great.’ He looked down at her boy, and swallowed. ‘Nicholas, I’m leaving today, going back to where I live.’

Her eyes blurred, her hands were like claws around the mug. Give me strength.

Nicholas stared up at the man he’d come to accept as part of his life. ‘You can’t. I don’t want you to. Mummy, tell him to stay.’

There were tears in Jackson’s eyes as he hunkered down to be on Nicholas’s level and reached for him. ‘I’m sorry, sport, but I have to go.’

‘No, you don’t.’ Nicholas began crying, big hiccupping sobs that broke her heart as much as Jackson’s leaving would.

‘Can I send you emails? You can answer, telling me how your swimming lessons are going, how many fish you catch with Grady?’ Sniff, sniff. Jackson studied her boy like he was storing memories to take with him.

Nicholas nodded slowly then his eyes widened in panic. ‘I don’t know how to email. Mummy?’

‘I’ll show you.’ Was it a good idea to let these two stay in touch? Would Nicholas feel let down, or would he slowly get over Jackson’s disappearance?

Jackson stood, Nicholas in his arms. ‘I want you to look after Mummy, for me. She’s very special, you know.’

Stay and look out for me yourself. ‘That doesn’t give you licence to do what you like around here, Nicholas.’ Her smile was warped, but at least it was a smile.

‘What’s licence?’

‘I think your mother means you can’t do whatever you like without permission.’ Jackson squeezed him close then dropped a kiss on his head before handing him to her. ‘See you later, alligator.’ His voice broke and he turned away.

She cuddled her little boy, comforting him, comforting herself. ‘Ssh, sweetheart. It’s going to be all right.’ Like hell it would be, and now she’d lied to Nicholas. She kissed the top of his head. ‘Jackson, you’d better go.’ Before I nail you to the floor so you can’t. Before I fall apart, the way my boy is. ‘Please,’ she begged.

He turned back to face her. ‘Sure.’ But he didn’t move. Just stood there, watching her, sadness oozing out of those beautiful green eyes.

‘Go. Now. Please.’

He stepped up beside her, his hand took her chin and gently tilted her head back. His kiss was so gentle it hurt. Her lips moulded to his, fitted perfectly, for the last time. She breathed in to get her last taste of him, a scent to hold onto and remember in the dark of the night.

And then he was gone. Her back door closed quietly behind him. Nicholas howled louder. Jess sat there, unable to move, and let the tears flow.

Jackson had gone.

CHAPTER TEN

JESS PULLED THE bedcovers up to her chin and listened to the rain beating down on the roof. It hadn’t let up all night. She’d never heard rain like it. And according to the radio it wasn’t about to stop.

‘Heavy rain warnings for the Cobb Valley and lower Takaka’ had been the dire message, again and again.

‘Not a lot I can do about it. Might as well stay snug in bed. At least until Nicholas decides he wants up and about.’ The rain suited her mood. The mood that had hung over her, keeping her gripped in misery, for the two days since Jackson had walked out of her life.

It was time to get over that. Yeah, okay, time to paste a smile on her face and pretend everything was fine in her world. Going around looking like someone had stolen her house when she hadn’t been looking didn’t help. Starting from now, she’d

enjoy these quiet moments before Nicholas demanded her attention. She flicked the bedside light on and reached for her book. ‘Bliss,’ she pretended.

The light flickered. Dimmed, came back to full strength. Went off.

Tags: Sue MacKay Billionaire Romance
Source: readsnovelonline.net