There was too much flotsam to deal with before he could even begin to undertake a relationship. He had to walk away from Madison, let her get on with her life without him, because he wasn’t able to become a part of it. She’d been badly hurt. He could not add to her anguish. He had to hold onto that raw emotion she’d poured into her singing so as he didn’t add to it.
But he was damned if he’d ever forget that kiss.
CHAPTER NINE
‘WE’RE WANTED AT the hospital in town,’ Sam told Madison the moment she stepped inside the unit.
So much for last night’s kiss. The way he was looking at her, it might well have been a figment of her imagination. Only problem there was that her brain wasn’t that imaginative. Hadn’t known that a kiss could transport her to places out of this world, or turn her inside out with desire. If that’s what Sam’s kisses did to her, she hated to think what his lovemaking might do. A very good reason not to go there, since this morning she was struggling to cope with acting like nothing had happened. As for sleep after she’d crawled between the sheets around midnight—forget it. Sam had ruled. In her head; had even tickled her heart.
Yet here he was, looking relaxed and cool, like nothing had occurred between them.
Her blood began to boil. Sam did that to her. Don’t let him. Be as blasé as he appears to be. Maddy appraised him harder, finally saw the telltale twitch of that amazing mouth. Not so cool after all. Yeah. Got you. She wanted to punch the air, but refrained by folding her arms across her breasts. ‘Why are we headed to the hospital and not out on patrol, as we’re supposed to be?’
He tossed some packets of swabs at a bag. His casualness didn’t fool her this time. The packets missed their destination. ‘There’s been an accident...’ he flicked fingers in the air ‘...involving a school bus.’
‘Can’t the local doctors cope?’
‘We’re under orders, Madison. This is what we do, follow orders.’ He snatched the swabs up from where they’d landed on the floor and shoved them inside the bag. ‘We’ll travel in convoy with armoured vehicles as there’re reports of trouble at a village along the way.’
Her heart thumped against her chest. Reality check. This is what I was sent here for, not for sensational kisses. She was about to go out into danger. Or the possibility of it, which amounted to the same thing, according to her heart, which was now beating a sharp and rapid tattoo. ‘What do you want me to do? Do we take supplies with us?’
‘The truck’s being loaded as we speak. You’re in charge of making sure nothing important is left behind.’
In other words, she was superfluous to requirements but he was stuck with her. Digging deep, she found a smile and refused to utter anything antagonistic. Two could play at being nice. Except she meant it. ‘On to it.’ She reached for the check sheets that hung on a clip by the phone and drew calming breaths to quieten her heart before it threw itself into a fit. That patrol she’d gone on had only been a taster for bigger and scarier things to come.
‘There are injured children, Maddy.’ Sam was beside her.
Children. The innocent victims. She looked up at him, her eyes seeking his, looking for reassurance that she’d cope, that she’d do her job without breaking down. That he’d be there for her, with her, helping, encouraging. Why she needed him for that she had no idea, but if that’s what it took to cope then that’s how it was.
A light grip on her shoulder surprised her and told her Sam had read her concerns. ‘It’s hard, but we’ll manage. Go check the supplies, Maddy.’ This time his voice was like a caress, gentle and warm and comforting. A man of many facets.
‘Will do.’ She headed outside to the truck and Cassy, who was ordering soldiers to be careful as they loaded boxes of equipment. ‘How are we going?’
‘You’ll need your weapon,’ Sam told her.
‘I knew that.’ But in her hurry to see they had everything they required for their patients, she’d forgotten she was a soldier before she was a doctor. She would be a liability to the others if she wasn’t armed and ready as they made their way into town.
Squashed into the cab of the truck between Sam and the driver, she stared around as they rolled out through the gate and along the dusty road, heading in the opposite direction from where she’d been before. Heat shimmered on the horizon, dust spewed from the vehicle in front to engulf their truck. ‘So inhospitable.’
‘Nothing like the green of home, is it?’ Sam agreed.
‘It hadn’t occurred to me how lucky we are in NZ until I saw this.’
‘Homesick?’
‘Not at all.’ She wasn’t about to cry for home the moment things got rough.
‘Too soon, I guess, but it will get you.’ When she rolled her eyes at him, Sam shrugged. ‘Find me a soldier who hasn’t had periods of wanting to be back home with family when the heat’s got to him or something’s gone horribly wrong on patrol. Me included.’ He was still surprising her with the things he came out with.
She told him, ‘My sister emails every day, giving me snippets of what her kids are up to, how Mum and Dad are.’ She wasn’t admitting to missing them last night.
‘That’s good. Hopefully she’ll keep the homesickness at bay for you.’ Doubt darkened his voice.
‘Might make it worse. Who knows? But I’ll not go looking for trouble. Right now I’ve got something more important to concentrate on.’
The hospital was rundown on the outside, but inside it gleamed. Medical personnel ran back and forth, looking harried, while children cried and mothers screamed for help. Police and armed personnel were making a show of being there. Utter chaos. But as Madison looked around she realised it was organised chaos. The staff knew what they were doing, which made it easy to slip into her role and ignore everything else.
‘This way.’ Sam took the lead after receiving directions from a gun-toting policeman. Was it only in New Zealand that cops didn’t carry weapons as a norm? ‘The men will bring our supplies through for us.’
Her first patient was a wee girl with the biggest brown eyes she’d encountered. Eyes filled with pain and resignation. ‘Hello, sweetheart.’ Madison knelt on the floor beside the mat the child lay on with a woman looking frantic with worry, presumably the girl’s mother.
Watching over an injured child, depending on strangers to tend the wounds, had to be any mother’s nightmare. Terrifying and bewildering. Madison’s hand slipped across her stomach. Children. What were her chances of having any? Despite what she was dealing with here, she’d give anything to raise her own.
Through an interpreter she introduced herself and learned the child’s name was Nubia and that she’d been trampled when teachers had rushed off the bus.
Fortunately Nubia’s head had not suffered any injury, but she had five broken ribs and the cartilage holding them had been torn. Wi
th gentle probing Madison discovered the spleen was ruptured. One arm was fractured and there were numerous abrasions on most of the girl’s body.
Her heart breaking for the child, Madison explained to her mother about the surgery she’d need to remove the spleen. When tears rocked the woman Madison slipped her arms around her and held her until the storm passed. Then she went to see when and where she’d be operating.
‘Join the queue,’ she was told by a harassed doctor.
Sam came across. ‘I’ve got a theatre lined up. We’ll share.’
When she rocked back on her heels at the outlandish suggestion he added, ‘It’s how it is, Madison. Cassy and the others will work with us.’ Then he took pity on her. ‘It’s not easy, I know, but you’ll be fine.’
‘Grow a backbone, huh?’
His finger brushed her cheek. ‘You’ve got one, just needs a little straightening at the moment.’
Somehow she chuckled. Not a very strong or mirthful one, but better than a grumpy retort. ‘Love your support.’ And a few other things she wasn’t mentioning any time soon. ‘Let’s go.’
Nubia’s surgery was straightforward and she was soon being watched over by Cassy as she came round.
‘No complications?’ Sam glanced up as Madison joined him at his table.
‘Not a one.’ She watched Sam at work and admired his skill. No wasted movements, or any unnecessary use of the scalpel.
‘This is Ra,’ Sam told her. ‘He was thrown through a window off the bus. Both femurs are fractured, and there’s damage to his lower bowel that I’m about to repair.’
‘Do you need me, or shall I find another patient?’
‘I’d like a second opinion on the colon.’
After scrubbing up again and pulling on fresh gloves, she went to help Sam.
* * *
Many hours and procedures later they sat slumped around a metal table with the other members of their crew, drinking coffee and picking at sandwiches they’d brought with them from camp.
Madison sipped the coffee, not really enjoying the strong brew, which was unlike anything she’d had before. But she needed something to fire up her sluggish cells after working in the hot and cramped conditions. ‘Glad that’s over,’ she muttered to anyone within hearing.