“I forgot about the tie, okay?” I bury my face in my hands. “But I did go there and talk to him. I told him I didn’t want to pursue things anymore because it’s too complicated, and he said he respects that and he’ll back off.”
Becky crosses her arms. “He’d better. I mean, he was the married one leading you on this whole time. What an asshole.”
I hesitate, thinking back to the brief snippets I overheard in Marcel’s office. The argument. We had an agreement, Sheryl yelled. What did that mean? It certainly wasn’t how I’d imagine a woman would talk to her happily married spouse, though. Maybe they were in an open relationship?
But then why was she so mad at him for sleeping around?
She clearly was. Her other words, whatever sleazy whore you’re moaning over, have been playing on guilty repeat in my mind ever since I overheard that conversation a couple days ago. Part of me wants to speak up, defend myself. I’m not a whore.
But can I really argue that, in this position? I didn’t know Lark was married at first. Yet after I found out… Our last full night together flashes through my mind. It feels so long ago now. The way he chased me into the dark parking lot after my TV interview, protecting me even while I was too stubborn to let him. And then the way he caught me in his arms and pinned me against his car, our lips colliding…
That whole night afterward. My last night in his bed, my clothing strewn all over his apartment…
It was weak of me. Beyond weak. And then, to top all that off, the other night when I went over to his apartment to end things once and for all, what did I end up doing? I kissed him. Again. Yes, sure, I broke things off after that, but still.
Maybe I am a whore, I think, and my stomach tightens, the healthy cocktail drink suddenly not sitting right in my gut at the thought.
“Hello? Earth to Cassidy Marks.” Becky’s waving her hand in front of my face now. I zone back in and realize I have no idea what she just asked me.
She takes one look at my face and deduces the same thing. “Cass…” Her voice softens. She squeezes my arm. “You’ll find a better guy, okay? A non-married one. One who respects you.”
She’s right. I should just nod. Agree. But… “I’m not so sure that’s the full story,” I murmur.
Becky arches an eyebrow. “What do you mean?”
“I mean…” We had an agreement. “I don’t know. I overheard this weird thing between him and Sheryl at work the other day. And then she hit him.”
Becky winces. “Damn. Not cool. But maybe she just found out about… You know?” She glances at me pointedly. “Still not okay to hurt someone physically, but…”
“I know.” I grimace. “But, it’s more than that. I don’t know. I mean, I’m not even completely sure he is still married. I just assumed so, after I saw them coming out of couples’ counseling and all—”
“Uh, yeah,” Becky replies, drawing out all her vowels. “Divorced people generally don’t pay for therapy to try to repair their relationship.”
“But, they’re business partners too, so maybe…” I shake my head. “I don’t know.” I chew on my lower lip. “Maybe there’s another explanation.”
“Well, did you ask him about it?” Becky arches both eyebrows now.
“Um…” The green drink churns even worse in my gut now.
My best friend lets out a long exhale that turns into a groan. “Okay, well no use doing it now, since you’ve finally extricated yourself from the mess.” Then she sets her jaw in what I know as Becky’s game face. “Let’s look at facts. Even if he’s not married, he didn’t exactly disclose whatever the hell his weird current thing with his ex-wife is. And he expected you to just roll with it, all while being in a business relationship with not just him, but both of them. You ask me, Cass, married or not, this situation has hot mess written all over it. Find another guy. One who’s upfront with you.” She squeezes my wrist. “One who doesn’t make you feel like you’re on an emotional roller coaster all the damn time. Someone steady.”
My head bobs of its own accord. “You’re right.” I know she is. It’s just getting harder and harder to keep convincing myself of that.
19
Cassidy
The spa day didn’t relax me as much as I’d hoped it would. Maybe it’s because I couldn’t stop thinking about my conversation with Becky the whole time I was in my massage.
Did you ask him about it?
Maybe I should have. Maybe that would have been the smart thing to do right off the bat. But I tried to talk to him about his past with Sheryl multiple times, and he always freaked out. I can’t imagine it would have turned out any differently if I’d just point-blank asked whether they were still married.