I opened my mouth to ask what she was talking about when she suddenly coded.
“Claire!” I roared. “Nikolai, do something!”
He rushed over to the paddles. “Move her gown, now!”
He rubbed the paddles together and pressed them to her chest.
I started counting again.
The seconds.
And how many went by as he tried and tried and tried again only to finally stop as sweat poured down his face and he shook his head.
Rage pounded into my body.
At Annie for stealing those last moments.
For it being her fault in the first place.
And at Claire—for leaving me. For using the last few seconds of her life to still protect the one reason, she was dead in the first place.
I would take it to my grave. How much I resented Claire. How much I refused to confess my anger at her for leaving me.
For caring more for Annie.
Than her fiancé.
“Helloooooooo, Ash?” Serena elbowed me in the gut. “You’re awfully quiet for someone who said he was so hungry he could eat Tank five minutes ago.”
I shook myself out of the memory and pasted a fake smile on my face. “I think I’d rather just kill him.”
“Right here, sitting across from you.” He glared, sweat still visible on his chiseled face. We’d sparred for the last hour. I got a few good shots in, but unfortunately, he was getting better, which meant he bruised my kidneys.
I was pretty sure I’d be peeing blood later.
“I know.” I grinned. “Why are you here again? You’re not family.”
“Ash, why the sudden hostility?” Serena gave me a knowing grin.
I grabbed a dinner roll and shoved it in her mouth. “You looked hungry.”
She spat out the roll, grabbed her knife, and held it to my throat. “Try that again, see what happens.”
“Junior… call her off, man. I can’t tell if her knife has sauce on it or blood.”
“Both. She’s crazy.” He smiled through his bite and then winked over at her. “And I mean that in the sexiest way.”
“I know.” She pulled the knife away from me and grinned.
Most everyone had already dug in, even though not everyone was at the table yet.
Nixon finally came over and sat, and then my dad strolled into the room with Tex the Capo in tow. “Savages just started eating without praying first?”
“I prayed,” I lied. “Right Tank?”
His eyes narrowed. “Sure, is that why I just heard thunder? Lightning gonna strike here any time soon?”
Dad sighed. “Everyone sit. Where’s our guest of honor?”
The moms were pouring wine in the kitchen and making their way over to the giant buffet table, all of them talking so loudly that if Dad really did want to say a prayer, he’d have to scream it.
It was ridiculously crowded even in our giant dining room—then again, at this point, we had to have two tables.
One for the older kids and adults.
And another for the littles, so they didn’t get blood splatters on them.
Not even kidding. If I even hint at the incident at Christmas in 2016, my dad looks ready to flog me.
“Here!” Annie rushed into the kitchen at around the same time I took a huge sip of wine.
“Damn…” Junior hissed under his breath.
I tried to hold the cough in. My eyes watered, and my throat burned with the need to choke.
I lasted maybe three seconds before I started hacking the wine that went down the wrong tube out of pure shock at what was in front of me.
Serena wasn’t helpful with her sudden hitting of my back. “You okay, cousin? Something wrong?”
I grabbed my napkin and wiped my mouth. “Wrong tube.”
“Suuure,” Junior said under his breath while Maksim looked between the two of us like a show was about to start.
He mimed eating popcorn, then elbowed King as if to say, pay attention to the show!
I glared at the two of them.
It did nothing to deter the little shits.
I swear everything just encouraged Maksim’s bad behavior these days.
“Sorry.” Annie didn’t meet my eyes, instead looking everywhere but my face. Hell, the plant in the corner got more action than I did. She pulled out her chair next to Tank and gave him a cheerful grin. “Izzy wanted me to change.”
Tank smirked. “Remind me to give Izzy a hug later.”
“You’re welcome.” Izzy beamed, lifting her glass of wine in the air only to have my dad pull it from her hand and shake his head no, mainly because she’d already had two glasses.
She pouted.
Typical.
And of course, he immediately cracked, handed the wine back, and said, “But only a few more sips.”
I willed Annie to look at me.
And I had no idea why.
I hated her, right?
She was the reason for my suffering.
For my numbness.
And hers was the last name on my soul mate’s lips.
She was wearing a white crop top that fell over her shoulders and low slung jeans that showed more skin than I think I’d ever seen her show in my entire life.