And the minute I reached for myself, I had guilt.
So much fucking guilt.
Claire was my last.
Which meant the minute I touched someone else, had sex with someone else, she would be erased, or at least it felt that way.
So I lay there, uncomfortable as hell, and tried to let the sadness take away whatever the hell was wrong with my body.
Unfortunately, when I closed my eyes, all I saw was Annie’s face.
And my hate grew in that moment to epic proportions.
Fuck turning over a new leaf—this was all her fault.
And I was going to destroy her.
Starting with Tank.
Ending with me.
A cruel smile passed my lips as the anger left; suddenly, I had a plan, one that guaranteed revenge.
And for the first time in over a year, I exhaled a sigh of relief, a sigh of cruelty, a sigh of purpose.
After all, sometimes destroying someone is equal to fixing yourself, right?
This wouldn’t end in bloodshed after all—no, it would end with tears.
Hers.
And I’d finally have my revenge.
“Don’t worry, Claire… I’ll take care of her, the only way I know how.”
Chapter Six
I fall asleep in the full and certain hope that my slumber shall not be broken; And though I be all-forgetting, Yet shall I shall not be forgotten, But continue that life in the thoughts and deeds of those I loved. —Samuel Butler
Chase
“Come in.” I squeezed my eyes shut then rubbed them with my fingertips before the door to my office swung open.
Footsteps sounded.
Fourteen of them.
He was wearing boots, size twelve—no, thirteen.
His breathing was even, but there was a certain taste of agitation in the air like he didn’t want to be here but knew he had no other choice.
“Update me.” I crossed my bulky arms. I’d been hitting the gym more now. I had no other choice. Ash was bulking up, fuck he was a mini-me in every way that I hated.
I wouldn’t wish his pain on anyone.
And I knew firsthand what it was like to lose someone you loved, only to find out later that they weren’t who you thought they were.
Claire, in this instance at least, wasn’t a rat.
No, she’d been worse.
Weak.
“I can’t do it anymore.” She hung her head in her hands. The green chair she was sitting in may as well be a confessional as she laid down all her sins at my feet—the feet of her soon to be father-in-law. “I love him. I do, but this life? You have to help me convince him. Please!”
I weighed my words, took my time as I tapped my red pen against the black folder in front of me.
Annie Smith.
Smith, my ass.
How did Phoenix even survive with the weight of these secrets on his soul?
Sex?
Alcohol?
The man didn’t even seem to have a vice—and I was pretty sure I’d have multiple vices at this point; I was already side-eyeing the brandy on my liquor cart.
But I needed to be sober for this conversation, unfortunately.
Slowly, I stood to my feet, adjusted my patriotic as fuck red tie, and walked over to the empty green chair next to Claire’s.
I would need to be careful.
After all, when dealing with weak individuals, you weren’t allowed to come on too strong; no, you had to come from behind, pretend to be a friend even though they’d just shown all their cards as foe.
My son.
My fucking son deserved better than that.
Even if he loved her.
He deserved a Queen.
Not someone I could so easily use as a pawn.
I sat, crossed my legs, and put a hand on her thigh. “You realize that by coming to me, you’ve already lost?”
She sniffled and then wiped her nose. “I—I did something unforgivable.”
I squeezed my eyes shut and waited for the gauntlet to slice through my head, my heart because I knew before she even said it—she would ask me to keep this from my son.
At all costs.
And I would want nothing more than to tell him.
Because as much as he drove me crazy—he was my only son. And I knew as he grew in age, he would become my best friend, my confidant, my everything. And her secret would destroy what solid ground I had with him.
I felt it in my soul.
“What did you do?” I whispered. “And how can I undo it? Because you aren’t sitting in my office, making it so I had to cancel multiple appointments because you guys got in a fight.”
She lifted her head, her lower lip trembling. “I lied.”
“About?”
“Something horrible.” She looked away as tears streamed down her cheeks. “And now I’m stuck.”
“Why did you lie, Claire? What drove you to be anything but honest with the man who has shown you nothing but love and honesty?”
She looked down at her hands as she wrung the tissue over and over again. “A lie, no matter how big or small, is still wrong, and I did it because I thought he would change his mind. I thought maybe if—if he believed me, he’d walk.”