“If she knows, her responses won’t be real. You have tonight… and then tomorrow…” As his voice trailed off, he sighed and met my gaze.
My chest felt so tight it was hard to breathe. “What you’re saying… it makes sense, but I can’t just—”
“What’s going to keep her safe, Ash? What’s going to keep your cousins safe? What’s going to work better? You flirting with a pretty girl and being a gentleman, or stepping off the ledge and letting your guard down. I don’t need you to kiss the girl—I need you to make her cry.”
I clenched my fist, feeling all the blood drain from my hand as my jaw locked in place, teeth grinding, I finally answered. “I’ll do it.”
“She’ll understand, son.”
I snorted out a laugh. “Or she’ll never forgive me because she’ll never trust my word again.”
My dad stared me down longer than what felt comfortable for any sane human, then said. “If she loves you. She’ll understand. This is the job, Ash. It’s what you do. It’s what you’re good at. She needs to get that, see that if she wants any part of this life—sacrifices must be made.”
Well, if that wasn’t a severe case of deja vu.
“That it?” I stood.
“Yeah, that’s it…” He jerked his head toward the stairway. “Now go do what you’ve been dying to do since I started this painfully long conversation—grab Annie and spend some time with her. And Ash… make it count.”
I forced the anger back down, just barely. “Yeah, I’ll get right on that.”
I was maybe five steps away from him when I heard him say. “I’m proud of you, son.”
“I hope you still say that after I break her heart.”
“Her heart was never in question of getting broken.”
I froze. “What?”
“Yours, however…”
I shook my head, refusing to look back. “You can’t break what’s barely been salvaged and broken, Dad.”
“You’re a fool if you think your heart was anything but whole, before Claire, during Claire, and after Claire. She never had the chance to break you—Annie does.”
My heart pounded against my ribs. I didn’t know what to say, so I said nothing and kept walking, and when I finally made it to Annie’s room, I didn’t have the energy to even try to digest whatever cryptic words my dad had said to me.
Instead, I just barked, “You.” Like a complete caveman. I pointed at Annie and did this weird grunt that had Kartini looking at me like I was going insane, which honestly, I felt like I was at that point.
“I think he’s trying to communicate,” Kartini whispered. “Quick, if he starts beating his chest, look away, or he’ll see it as a challenge to his dominance.”
I flipped her off with both hands.
“Look at the male homo sapien as he uses his fingers to communicate what his words cannot… interesting, very interesting.”
“I hope to God you fall in love with someone who can train you, I really do.” I sighed. “Annie, let’s go, you’re my let’s not get killed buddy.”
Annie paled. “I’m not sure I like that title. Can we come up with something happier?”
“Ah, ah, ah, ah, staying alive.” Kartini did a little dance. “No?”
“No,” we said in unison.
She crossed her arms in annoyance. “Fine, fine, I’ll be okay all by myself, in this large room after getting nearly blown to bits by a stuffed animal, no big...”
“Don’t worry, Tini, Tank will be back soon to babysit.”
She lunged for me.
I jerked back against the door.
She was tiny.
But Sergio had taught her how to pack a punch.
Footsteps sounded down the hall, then stopped behind me.
I glanced over my shoulder. “And God provides!”
“Huh?” Tank glared.
“You’re the sacrificial sheep…” I grinned. “Oh, and she’s singing Stayin Alive, so good luck with that.”
I grabbed Annie by the hand before she could protest, and then I rubbed the middle of my chest with the other.
I had less than twenty-four hours to show her the real me, the one who was finally letting go—getting the closure I needed, the one who was still trying to give her a damn present she clearly didn’t even want.
Twenty-four hours before the monster came back.
And I wondered if she’d ever forgive me for using her to draw out our enemies. I couldn’t help but think about Claire.
About how I forced her hand.
And I didn’t want to force Annie.
She was too—sweet. Too pure.
Claire had seen the necessity of the parts we played—but I knew she hated it.
Which meant it would destroy Annie to have to do the same.
Right?
Then again, last year she had offered herself up when I needed her, but that was just a ruse, right? To be useful? To make out?
I wiped my hand down my face.
“Slow down.” Annie jogged after me.
“Sorry, just wanted to make it to the pool house before it rained.”
She stumbled and looked up. “There’s like one cloud.”