Emerging from the forest, I drove past a sign letting me know I’d reached Cedar Valley, and I took a left toward the neighborhood where her new apartment was. Funny, when I was twelve and CPS took Finn and me away, I’d told myself it was over. I’d never see my mother again. Not too long ago, I’d said the same thing about Angie. We were over. She was out of my life. And yet…here I fucking was.
I pulled in outside her apartment complex and peered up at the building. It was a cluster of seven or eight three-story buildings, the forest in the background, and we’d looked at an apartment here before we’d decided to just take the leap and buy a house.
As I jogged up the outdoor steps to the second floor, I thought back on whether or not I had locked the car, but I decided it didn’t matter. It was a safe area, and I had no plans to stay very long.
“You promised me. You fucking promised me, Angie! Holy fuck, I…I can’t believe you.”
Apartment 4B.
I pounded on her door. “Open up, Angie!”
Was I really going to do this? Was I going to try to make her understand one more time?
“Angie!” I yelled.
I supposed I’d let the whiskey decide. Maybe I’d take one step inside her place and throw up on her feet.
Fucking hell. I pounded some more, and then I heard her on the other side of the door.
“What are you doing, Avery?” Her voice held plenty of anger.
“Open the goddamn door,” I demanded.
“Not when you’re like this,” she insisted. “You’re scaring me.”
I let out a hollow laugh. “You don’t know what fear is.” I smacked the door. “Let me in.”
“You’re drunk! Don’t make me call the police.”
“I fucking dare you,” I barked out. “You’re the one who wanted to talk, so let’s talk. Fucking whore.”
I was met by silence.
I glared at the door and gave it a hard kick.
There was no way she was calling the police on me.
“Angie!” I shouted.
Christ. My chest heaved, and the pain was back. It shot bolts down my arm and made it harder to breathe.
I blinked and scrubbed at my face.
Then the door opened, and I dragged my bleary gaze off the ground.
There she was. She did look frightened.
I removed my shades and pocketed them.
How had I ever found her remotely attractive? We usually had the same shade of brown hair, but she’d dyed hers reddish. She wore too much makeup too. Lipstick that bordered on orange. Dull, brown eyes.
“Just how much did you drink?” she asked coldly.
I cocked my head at her. “I sure as fuck wouldn’t show up at your doorstep sober, so…a lot.” Then I pushed her aside and entered her apartment. Figures, she was done decorating. She’d kept our couch. It was too big for her living room, but whatever. “I’m here to give you closure so you can finally leave me the fuck alone. What do you want?” I turned to face her, almost tripping over the coffee table in the process. “You’re too ugly to get me hard, so I can’t fuck you.”
She flinched as if I’d slapped her. “Why do you always have to be so goddamn mean? You like hurting me, don’t you?”
“You just figured that out? You really are as dumb as you look.” I shook my head. “Hurting you has been the only thing that’s kept me going these past two years. It’s the one thing I’m-I’m gonna miss.” I rubbed my jaw, wondering if I was slurring my speech. I sounded okay to me, but my tongue felt numb.
Angie’s eyes welled up with tears that quickly spilled over.
I didn’t understand her. I genuinely didn’t get why she was trying. She clearly didn’t see why going behind my back to contact my mother had been so horrible, so in her eyes, I was doing the betraying. I was the one who’d wrecked our marriage. I was the guilty piece of shit who’d cheated on her, called her names, and taken my anger out on her. Why did she accept it?
“I will never forgive you for what you did,” I heard myself saying, and my throat started closing up. “I had to see her the other day. My mother—I drove down to see her. She called me a weak dog.”
Angie drew a shaky breath and refocused, her brows pinching together. “You saw your mom?”
That set me off. Without warning. “That’s what I just said, you stupid bitch!” I yelled. Ignoring how I’d startled her, I approached her instead, and I couldn’t stop the words from tumbling out of my fucking mouth. “I guess she was in a nostalgic mood because she wanted to reminisce about the times she’d forced Finn and me to play hide-and-seek. And she couldn’t grasp why I hid in the closet, shaking like a leaf, knowing that she was going to turn either my back or Finn’s into a bloody slip ‘n slide with whatever tool she found.”