I loved her needy little sounds when she kissed me. I loved the way she always had to get closer. I loved how she slid a hand up my chest and how she played with my tie.
Christ, she was just everything. I’d racked my brain every night I went to sleep during the trip down to San Francisco. I’d looked within myself to see if there were any red flags—if I was clinging like I’d done in the past. But I didn’t have to worry about making any decisions based on the wrong thing with Elise. It was all her. I wanted everything with her because of who she was and how she made me feel, not because I was scared to be abandoned.
I wasn’t going to rush forward either way, but I could say with certainty that I’d found the one woman who changed everything. I wanted children with her. I wanted to live with her. I wanted to marry her. I wanted a life with her.
I cupped her cheek and slowed down the kiss before I took her right here on the steps.
“You’re going to drive me crazy for the rest of our lives, aren’t you?” I murmured, a bit out of breath.
She bit her lip in a failed attempt to contain her triumphant smile. “Drive you crazy in a good way?”
“The best way.” I released her bottom lip with my thumb.
“I hope so.” She brushed her fingers over my day-old stubble. “No one can make me as happy as you, Avery.”
“Good. Then you’re stuck with me.” I kissed her again, because I had to. “My beautiful Pipsqueak.”
Jesus, when she blushed, the blood in my body automatically dropped down to my cock.
She was lethal.
“We should change the subject before I maul you,” I chuckled.
“Oh, but—”
“No.” I gave her a look of warning. My self-control was hanging on by a thread.
“Fine. We’ll be good until we get back to Ryan’s.”
Deal.
I forced myself to stop touching her; my hand returned to a more innocent spot, her ankle, and I took a deep, cleansing breath. I’d have her soon. The minute we were behind closed doors and Grace was asleep.
“Thanks for ruining my panties, I guess.”
“I swear to Christ, Elise.” The heat made a swift return and almost caused me to explode.
“I’m joking!” she laughed and slapped my chest. “I’m not wearing any panties.”
I groaned and scrubbed my hands over my face.
She wasn’t wearing any underwear. I could just slide my hand right up her dress and—
Fuck my life.
I blew out a breath and shook my head.
“I actually had something I wanted to talk to you about, but now I can’t stop thinking about your pussy.”
While saying that only made shit worse for me, it succeeded in derailing Elise’s thoughts.
“What did you want to talk about?” she asked.
And she wouldn’t let go until I told her. I knew that much. So…that was that. I’d have to switch gears and get serious, all while she was sitting there without any panties on.
Get it together.
I cleared my throat and caught a glimpse of her bracelet. She’d been so happy about the gift—and that Grace had picked it out—that I was looking forward to giving her something that was only from me.
“When I placed the bracelet on your desk, I saw a photo of my brother and me,” I said. There. The words were out. “You could’ve chosen another picture, maybe one with just me in it, but you didn’t.”
Elise straightened in her seat and untangled her leg from mine. Then she gathered one of my hands in her lap. “He’s a big part of who you are. Even though you haven’t seen him in over twenty years, you keep him alive right next to you.”
Those words packed a punch, and I lowered my gaze to our hands. I could trust her to be the one person who saw me—all of me. Really saw me. And she was right, in a way. A phantom twin brother walked next to me, but it was just a reminder of a vacant spot. There was no one there. Just a void, a loss.
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you,” she murmured. “I should’ve asked if I could copy the photo.”
I squeezed her hand and shook my head minutely. “It’s all right.”
“But you’re not all right, honey,” she said softly. I could sense the caution in her tone. She was hesitating to go on. “I’ve been thinking about this lately. I have a—I don’t know how to explain it—but a pressure…?”
I glanced at her, brow furrowed.
She let out a frustrated breath and chewed on her lip. “The way some people have hurt you has caused you to set more limits,” she said. “Like, since your ex-wife went behind your back, it makes you less tolerant of anything remotely similar to that today. And that puts pressure on me. When it comes to your past, I have to tread very carefully so I don’t step on any toes.”