She threw back the covers and stood, and walked to the door that separated their bedrooms. She heard no sound when she cracked it open. He was sleeping. It was dark and late at night, but she didn’t care because there was something she needed to tell him now, right now. She walked to the side of his bed and leaned over it, and traced a light finger over his prominent nose, his strong jawline. His eyes opened.
“Jane. What is it?” He blinked at her, coming to wakefulness. “Are you all right?”
She clasped her hands before her. “I forgive you, Edward. I’m sorry it took so long.”
“What?”
“I forgive you. I should have before now. You did not mean to hurt me, even though you hurt me with your mistake. It is like Mr. Cuddles and Bouncer, you see. It was not done in malice. Well, malice toward Lord Wescott, perhaps, but not me.”
He blinked again, then moved back and lifted the covers. “Come in, please.”
She crawled into the bed beside him. “Oh, Edward. All this time my emotions have been in a tussle because I felt hurt, but you didn’t mean to hurt me, did you?”
“No.” His eyes were wide in the darkness, as full of emotion as her heart.
“I think now that I exaggerated your crimes against me. You did marry me after all, when you might have walked away from the whole misunderstanding. Do…do you forgive me for taking so long to forgive you?”
“My love, all is forgiven, everything. Thank God I didn’t walk away, for I’m so happy now to have married you. I hope you’re happy to be married to me.”
His open expression was utterly truthful. “I am,” she said. “I always have been.”
“Perhaps my mistake was not even a mistake. Perhaps you and I were always meant to be. My heart knew it as I proposed to Jane, even though my brain was thinking June.”
“Your brain was thinking of revenge, but your heart wanted saving. I like that. Let’s think of it that way.”
He reached to cup her cheek. “Do you know, I was dreaming of you just now? Dreaming of lying beside you just like this? How I’ve missed our closeness.”
“I’ve been so foolish this last week.” She turned her face away, overcome by his tender words and touch. “I always go about everything wrong. Everything!”
“What do you mean?”
“I think I’m an honorable, kind person, but I held an awful grudge against you.” She leaned her head against his shoulder. “And I’ve certainly been a terrible pet owner. I wonder now if I’m as foolish and selfish as the people at the Exeter Exchange.”
“In what way? How could that be true?”
“I see myself as some great naturalist, a rescuer of animals.” She sighed. “What folly.”
“You are a great naturalist, Jane. You cared for your animals, you saw to their needs as best you could. The Exeter Zoo captures animals and displays them for money. I don’t see how it’s the same.”
“Because both of us take the animals away from where they should be. I told myself that I must take in Bouncer, that he would die otherwise, but now he has died anyway in this awful manner. Perhaps it would have been kinder to…”
“Leave him where you found him, to starve to death, or perhaps be torn to shreds by some predator in the wild? He had a good life while it lasted. You gave that to him.”
She frowned, kneading her fingers at her temples. “Sometimes I think I should be a proper lady, not someone mucking about in gardens and forests. Perhaps it is none of my business, to be so interested in nature. Perhaps I shouldn’t interfere in the lives of things.”
“Listen to me,” he said, taking her fidgeting hands. “You’ve just spoken about forgiveness, about meaning well even if things go wrong. Something awful has happened, yes, but it was accidental. You mustn’t question if you ought to have done things differently. Sometimes things just happen, and you move on as best you can. Just as we are doing in our marriage,” he added. “You make mistakes, you apologize. You try again. Look at me, Jane.”
She forced herself to meet his gaze. It was stern but loving, an anchor for her in the quagmire of her guilt.
“I love you,” he said, emphasizing each word. “I don’t know how or why, or what myriad events converged to make our union happen as it did, but you are the best thing that could have happened for me. I used to place such importance in pointless things, in tradition and propriety and perfection, but my heart was cold.”
As he said this, he placed one of her hands flat against his chest, over his heart. She could hear it beating, thump thump thump…
“Then you came into my life and turned everything on its head, and I couldn’t be more grateful.” He wound his fingers around hers and brought them to his lips for a kiss. “Now I love you more than I ever thought to love a woman, more than seems possible on this earth. I love you as you are, with dirt upon your hems and your hair in disarray. I love your fascinating flights of conversation. I love you more than Mr. Cuddles could ever love you, or Bouncer, may he rest in peace. You are so good, Jane, so generous and kind—”