He came up to her door and tugged on it. It was locked, so of course it didn’t open. When she didn’t move, or unlock it, he stared at her through the glass, his somber blue eyes silently asking her to open up. She still didn’t move. She couldn’t. Her heartbeat thudded in her head, echoing, and she adjusted her grip on the wheel.
If she let him in…he’d just hurt her all over again.
She’d barely made it through intact last time.
“Lyd…” He tugged on the handle a little harder. “Open the door.”
She knew what was going to happen if she did. If she went into his house and let him talk to her, she’d forgive him even though he didn’t really deserve it. He was never going to love her like she would love him. He’d told her as much, had told her that he was only going to stay with her until the urge had passed…
Which he’d said had happened.
So why was she going to put herself through this pain again, in a day or two? A week, if she was lucky. What was the point? Eventually, he’d be ready to move on for real. And she’d be left hurting another time. She shook her head and reached for the shifter with a trembling hand.
He paled and placed his hands on her window. “Wait! Don’t go.”
“I-I can’t do this.” She shifted into reverse. “I’m sorry.”
And then she reversed, leaving him standing alone in his driveway, wearing a navy blue suit, his glasses, and a devastatingly sad look in his eyes.
And her heart broke a second time.
The whole way back to her apartment, her heart raced at full speed. She’d done it. She’d fallen in love with a guy who’d flat out told her he would never love her back. What was wrong with her? She parked in her spot and rested her head on her steering wheel. “Idiot, idiot, idiot.”
A knock sounded on her window. She jumped and lifted her head, half expecting it to be Holt. But it wasn’t. It was Steven. Of course it was.
Sighing, she shut her car off and got out. “I’m not in the mood.”
“What happened?” He stepped up next to her, his hands curled into fists. “What did he say? What did he do?”
“He didn’t say or do anything.” She shut her door and gripped her purse strap tight. “I didn’t even give him a chance to say anything. I just… I left.”
“Why? He obviously cares—”
She blew out a breath. “No offense, but you know nothing about what he feels. Or in this case, doesn’t feel.”
“True enough. But I do know him. After I cooled off, I was able to think about this more clearly. About how he’s been acting, and why. The Holt I know doesn’t get worked up over chicks.” He dragged a hand down his face. “The guy I saw at the party, fighting with you and asking you to listen, isn’t a guy who doesn’t care.”
She twisted her purse in her hands. “You’re wrong. He—”
“No, I’m not. I know Holt.” He cocked his head. “But I have to wonder… Do you?”
She swallowed hard, her eyes feeling dry and sandy and broken. Just like her heart. “I…yes, of course I do. I know things you don’t know, too.”
“His headaches? He told me and Cooper about them yesterday. He said he’d been worried about admitting the truth about his ‘shortcomings.’” Steven air-quoted that word with a wince. “But he didn’t need to worry about that. Cooper would never have fired him for that. It’s not
how he rolls.”
She stilled. “He told everyone?” she asked, her voice coming out way too soft.
“Yeah,” he said, shrugging. “He said he hadn’t wanted to come clean, but that a girl who he cared about made him see it wasn’t such an embarrassment after all. And from now on, if he feels another episode coming on, all he has to do is let Cooper know that he’ll need time off. I’m guessing that the girl he talked about? Yeah, that was you.”
“O-Oh.”
“So tell me…” Steven crossed his arms and leaned on the doorframe. “Does that sound like a guy who doesn’t care?”
I don’t know. I don’t know anything anymore. She swallowed hard, doubting herself for the first time since driving away, and averted her face from him. “One second you’re punching him for touching your little sister, and the next you’re championing him?”
“What can I say? I had time to cool down, and I realized if you’re going to be with some guy, it might as well be one like Holt. He’ll treat you right…because he knows if he doesn’t, he’ll answer to me.” Steven rubbed his jaw. “Want me to talk to him for you, too?”