“Oh, I think Iv-”
That’s all he’s able to get out before I’m ripping the phone right out of his fingers. If I’m lucky, I managed to leave a few claw marks. God damn it! I seriously can’t believe this is happening right now! Then I remember to smooth out my features before looking at the small screen. “Ahh, hi, dad. What are you calling for? You never call on a Monday night. Is something wrong?”
Normally we speak every Sunday afternoon. Except for yesterday because I was busy. If he has any inkling I’m angry about everything that went down after my mom died, it’s not something we discuss. Or even acknowledge. It’s all been swept neatly under the rug where it can fester.
At least for me, it does.
“Well, I was hoping that maybe you could come home next weekend and spend the day with us.”
Without even thinking about what I have going on, I immediately start shaking my head. “That sounds great, but I don’t think I can make it, dad. I don’t have a way to get home.”
Sure… I could probably borrow Lexie’s little silver Jetta but I’m not going to ask. Because I don’t want to go.
“Oh.”
That’s all he says as his face falls. The difference in his lighthearted banter with Roan only a few moments ago and mine is like a stark reminder that the past still sits heavily between us. As difficult as it is, I press my lips together, not saying a word.
After a long uncomfortable silence, he finally says, “It’s just that we haven’t seen you since you left for Paris and that was almost sixteen months ago. You’ve been so busy since you came back and we wanted to give you a little bit of time to settle in.”
We.
Him and Leah.
Always him and Leah.
Hearing him say that is like fingernails slowly scratching their way down a chalk board. I almost flinch in response.
“You haven’t seen your family in sixteen months?”
I almost shoot Roan a dirty look before remembering that the camera is focused on me and my dad is watching. Instead I ground out, “I was in Paris for fifteen of those months and I’ve been really busy with school and work. I’ve only been back here for a few weeks. I’m still getting acclimated.” It takes all my self-control not to snarl at him like some junkyard dog on a choke chain.
Silently Roan cocks his head to the side as he continues watching me. It’s almost like he’s trying to sift through all the lies shuttered within my eyes. I would dearly love to rip him a new one right now for picking up the phone, but I can’t. After I disconnect, Roan is going to get an ass chewing of epic proportions.
“Can you at least try to make it home this weekend, Ivy? The kids would love to see their big sister.”
I grit my teeth because their children are not my siblings. They probably don’t even know who the hell I am. I haven’t seen them since… I rack my brain. Although it’s not difficult to figure out because I just marked the fifth year since my mom died which means the twins just turned four. So, when I left, they were around two or so.
It’s doubtful they even know I exist.
“Yeah, I’ll try, dad.” My heart feels as if it’s going to pound right out of my chest with the uncomfortableness that has settled over us like a heavy blanket. It’s one that will end up suffocating the hell right out of me one day.
My fingers twitch wanting to hit the red disconnect button and pull the plug on this horrifically awkward conversation. Then, in a day or two, I’ll send him a quick text letting him know that it’s just not going to work out this weekend.
Oh well…
“Hey, I can drive Ivy home on Sunday.”
My mouth tumbles open right before my wide eyes swing to Roan’s. I want to yell- noooooooo but I can’t. Absolutely no sound comes out at all. Not even a little squeak of protest.
My dad’s face on the screen I’m holding in the palm of my hand breaks into a huge delighted smile. “That would be fantastic, Roan! Ivy’s stepmother and I would really appreciate it.” He takes a breath before continuing, “Are you sure it’s not a problem?”
Yes, I want to scream, it’s a huge freaking problem!
This can’t be happening. I literally want to kill Roan right now! As soon as this call is finished, that’s exactly what I’m going to do. And then Roan-fucking-King will be no more.
My eyes narrow as I fume. Just look at him over there… he’s totally oblivious to my seething anger because in the very next moment, he squeezes his face in next to mine so that it fills half the tiny screen.
“No problem at all, Mr. Kaster. I look forward to meeting you in person. I can’t believe you used to play for Barnett! That’s so awesome.”