"It would be much worse if you tore off my clothes and fucked me senseless, but I wouldn't complain."
She shakes her head. "You aren't that irresistible."
"Now that's a bald-faced lie."
Her lips curl into a smile. "Maybe. But I've gained a lot of self-control." She raises onto her tiptoes and presses her lips into mine. "I'm sorry you hurt so much."
"Everyone hurts."
She nods. "But you've been through so much, and you've done most of it on your own."
I squeeze her hand. "I don't want to do it on my own anymore. After my mom died, I couldn't shake the idea that it was my fault. If she hadn't been taking such good care of me, defending me against my dad, it never would have happened." I press my fingers into the bouquet. "I know, intellectually, that it was an accident. That it was because of weather and some other driver's mistake, but it still felt like it was my fault. I convinced myself that I could survive without ever needing someone again, that things would be easier that way."
"Everyone needs helps sometimes."
I kneel and place the bouquet on my mom's grave.
"I miss her," I say. "She was the greatest mom in the world. She wasn't perfect, but she was always there for me."
"I'm sorry."
She moves closer to me until I can feel her heart beating.
"I always blamed my dad," I say. "I started hating him the day she died, and I never stopped. I still haven't stopped. At first it was for hurting Mom. Then it was for hurting Samantha. I was always angry at him... but never sad. And even though I hated him... he was my dad. I still remember our family trips to the park, playing catch, him trying desperately to convince me not to watch movies with my mom. He had good intentions. She did show me the most horribly violent movies. They were completely inappropriate for me."
The sun is high in the sky, bringing out the vivid hues of the grass, the flowers, even the tombstones.
"He was awful, but it still hurt to lose him," I say.
"You've carried a lot on your shoulders."
I turn to Alyssa. "I'm not saying I'm going to be perfect, or that we're going to be perfect. But I want to do things right, Ally. I want to be there for you. It's hard to admit it, but I want you to be there for me too. I know we have problems, but I know I can take on anything if it's with you."
She smiles. "I want to be there." She moves closer to me, wrapping her body around mine. "I love you. No matter what happens, I love you."
"I love you too," I say. I press my lips to hers, and I know that, somehow, everything is going to be okay.
Author's Note
Thank you so much for reading Rouse Me. If you enjoyed the novel, please leave a review. Honest reviews help authors and readers alike.
Follow Luke and Alyssa's journey in Fill Me, the final installment of the Rouse Me trilogy.
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Rouse Me Series
Rouse Me (Book 1)
Stir Me (Book 2)
Fill Me (Book 3)
Acknowledgments
My dearest Kevin, you are definitely the honey in my tea. I am eternally grateful for your patience listening to all my crazy p
itches, blurb revisions, and minor freak outs. I know we are going to have an amazing life together. To my father, thank you for always encouraging my reading and writing, and for taking me to the bookstore when I was supposed to be grounded. To my mother, I know you don't always understand the path I have chosen, but thank you for believing in me.