"But you don't."
"I guess not."
"You don't do things unless you're sure you'll be great at them."
My stomach twists. "I… maybe…" I take a deep breath and exhale slowly. "I've never thought about it."
"How about this?" His voice gets soft. "This week, I'm going to ask you to try some shit you've never done before. Shit you might not be good at. Agree to really consider everything before you shoot it down."
"Why should I?"
Joel laughs. "Because you like me."
I do. "But what do I get out of it?"
"Experiencing new things isn't enough?"
I shake my head.
"Not sure I have much else to offer."
"You still haven't told me why you were in Vegas. Not in detail."
He takes a half step backwards.
I press my butt against the counter. There's something in his eyes. This hesitation.
It doesn't seem like Joel.
"You haven't told me either," he says.
True. And I don't want to. But I need to admit this. I need to deal with it. I look back into his eyes. "You go first."
He nods. His eyes go to the window for a minute then they're back on mine. "My parents gave me bad news. I didn't want to think about it."
"So you went looking for a fun distraction?"
He nods. "You."
"I found out I failed at something I thought I was good at." I press my lips together. Already, tears are threatening to sting my eyes. Technically, I haven't flunked out of law school. But I killed myself studying last semester and I ended up with Cs. Classes are only getting harder. Unless I magically find more time to study, or magically get better at school, I'm going to fail. Maybe not next semester. But sometime before my three years are up.
Fuck.
So much for threatening.
I blink back a tear.
Joel wraps his arms around me and pulls my body into his.
One hand goes to my back, my shoulders. He undoes my bun, then he's running his fingers through my hair.
His touch is soft.
Sweet.
Comforting.
Right now, I get it. I completely understand why I married him.