"Once your mom was older, I tried dating, but I was still angry at the world. I wasn't ready to trust someone to be my partner. I lost a few good things because I wouldn't get out of my way. But there was nothing any of those guys could do."
"Nothing? You sure?"
She laughs. "You think he loves you?"
"He said he did, but I don't know... if he loves me then why doesn't he want to be with me?"
"I don't know, baby. I'm sorry. Sometimes it takes a while to get over past hurt. I never did. I was never brave enough to risk my heart again."
"Maybe that's it. He... his parents were awful to him before they died. Made him feel worthless. Then they died suddenly. I mean, sorry—"
"It's okay. I know I'm dying."
A tear catches on my lashes. "And you... are you ready?"
She presses her lips together. "I've been too weak to live a long time. I'm ready."
Oh God.
"But I'd rather talk about your hot friend."
I wipe a tear from my cheek. "Okay. I just... You have to know how much I appreciate you. You were my best friend for a long time. You still are."
She squeezes my hand. "It's been an honor watching you grow, Kay. You're such a bright young woman." She blinks back a tear. "It's good you take after your mother and not me."
I shake my head. "I wish I was more like you."
She wipes her cheeks with her free hand. "That's about all I can take—"
"Okay. I do... I do need advice about Brendon."
She nods. "You think he's worth the trouble?"
"You've seen his picture."
She smiles. "Not lately."
I pull out my phone to grab one of us. There's a text from Emma. A few actually.
Emma: I'm sorry. Brendon is so stupid. I can't believe he did that. Did you get to Jersey okay? How is your grandma? Call me, Kay. I'm so sorry about flipping out. I just... I guess I did freak out. I love you.
"That him?" Grandma asks.
"No. Emma."
"You're smiling."
"She apologized. She forgives me for lying to her."
"Good. Now let me see the hottie."
My laugh hurts. These pictures are salt in the wound. We look so happy. So right together.
I pick one of us at Inked Hearts. I'm sitting on the stool behind the counter, and he has his arms around me, and we're both smiling like we're happy enough to die.
I hand my cell to grandma.
"Mmm. Yes. I can see why you look so miserable." She taps the screen. "Anything good in here?" She raises her brows twice.