“She’s the parent. She should be responsible.”
“But…”
“That’s it.”
Maybe.
“You did the right thing.”
“I spent years shilling booze.”
“You made ends meet.”
I shake my head. “I didn’t need to work. She has a good job. She’s high functioning at work. Waits until she’s home to really get wasted. Waits until I can clean up her mess.”
“Fuck. Leigh. I’m sorry.”
“Thanks.” My shoulders relax. He isn’t running away. He isn’t staring with judgment. He isn’t kicking me out of his car.
His voice is soft. Sweet. The kind of voice you use to whisper I love you. “I thought shit was fucked with my parents. But it’s nothing. The usual are you sure you don’t want to go to business school thing.”
“You did.”
“Yeah.”
“Did it make them happy?”
“Until I started apprenticing.”
“Was it worth it?”
“Don’t tell them, but yeah. I learned a lot.” The car slows. Pulls to a stop.
We’re here.
Ryan unclicks his seatbelt.
I do the same.
He moves closer. Wraps his arms around me.
I let my eyelids press together.
Let my fingers dig into his t-shirt.
He’s warm and he smells good. Like lemon soap and like Ryan.
I feel him everywhere. In my lungs and my bones and my soul.
It’s deeper than usual.
More intimate.
Ryan never holds me like this.
Never.
“I’m sorry, Leigh.” He pulls me closer.