“Hurt me,” she begged, her voice cracking.
My heart hammered against my rib cage. “What–”
“You don’t understand.” Tears welled in her grey eyes. “I need pain.”
“Julianna,” I started, but she was already shaking her head.
“You said I self-destruct and it’s true,” she wheezed, a lonely tear sliding down her scarred cheek. “The reason is because I need pain. It grounds me. Keeps me focused. And because I don’t want to fall back into that void of nothingness once again…I don’t want to mess this up again. I want to fix it, fix us… but I need to stay focused for that.”
Her nails dug into my hand. “I crave pain, Killian. Tell me you understand. Tell me you can give me what I need.”
Her hair was a messy nest on her head and she was shivering. Julianna blinked, her smoky grey eyes trapping me once again. Her full lips were swollen pink as if she had just been chewing on them. She licked her lips, slowly, and my dick twitched. And it was the desperate look in her eyes that got me – fuck – she was so damn addictive and far too fascinating for her own good.
“Do you hate me, Killian?” Julianna asked, and I knew where she was going with this.
“Yes,” I rasped.
“Good. Then, hurt me. Please.”
I tugged my wife forward, caging her between my legs. “We need a safe word,” I advised calmly. “The moment you say your safe word, everything stops.”
“Thorn,” she replied quickly. “Thorn is my safe word.”
I nodded, while unbuckling my pants. “Thorn, it is.”
Julianna reached for me, placing her palm over my bare chest. Her thumb brushed over my nipple, tentatively. I gripped her wrist, pulling her hand away and squeezing enough to leave my marks but not to cause her pain. “You don’t get to touch me unless I tell you to.”
She gasped and then a shiver racked through her body. Julianna nodded, shyly.
Releasing her wrist, my hand went to the back of her head. I did quick work of undoing her bun before my fingers tangled in her blonde hair, wrapping the length of it around my fist. Once and then twice, my knuckles digging into her scalp. I gripped her hard, pulling her head back and baring the length of her neck for me. She moaned softly and her eyes darkened with depraved need. Like me.
Bringing my head to her neck, I inhaled her sweet scent. Strawberries. “How far will you go to please me, Julianna?”
“Anything and everything you want,” she whispered.
I chuckled against her throat. My teeth grazed the sensitive skin there, the place I knew that made her wet. I felt her clenching her thighs. I knew her body better than she did.
I licked the column of her neck, tasting her sweetness. “Good girl.” I could hear the rough huskiness of my own voice. “Open your mouth, big and wide for me.”
It was a pretty fucking sight, her on her knees for me, and when she opened her mouth, waiting patiently for me to feed her my cock, I almost spent my seed in my pants.
I pushed my boxers down and freed my erection from the material. I grasped my length in my palm and then gripped the back of Julianna’s head. Her mouth stayed wide open and I slowly pushed my cock into her warm heat. The moment my hardness was halfway sheathed into her mouth, I let out the deepest groan.
Fuck, this felt so good.
Julianna swallowed against my thick length and before I could stop myself, my hips bucked forward and I shoved the rest of me down her throat.
She gagged at first and her throat tried to fight the harsh intrusion. But I kept a firm hold on the back of her head, pushing her down onto my shaft until her lips met the base of my length and my heavy sack thudded against her chin. She wiggled in my grasp and I saw her eyes shining with tears as she fought to breathe.
“Shh. Take it, Julianna,” I muttered in response to her gagging, breathless sounds. “Don't disappoint me.”
Her pretty eyes widened at my words and she tried to shake her head, looking quite frightened at the thought of not pleasing me. “No? You don’t want to disappoint me, right?”
Her gaze screamed YES as tears slid down her flushed cheeks. Saliva was also starting to dribble down her chin. Beautiful.
I groaned, and if possible, my erection swelled bigger in her mouth. The sight of her lips stretched wide apart to take me and the wet sound of her throat swallowing against my length, was almost too much for me.
Jaw clenched, I withdrew from her mouth and then thrust back inside. She gagged again, but this time, she didn’t try to wiggle away. The tears were a continuous river down her cheeks. I loved the sight of it, as barbaric as that sounded.