Both Gideon and I expected it and he was prepared, already reaching out to me. His arm wrapped around my waist, keeping me upright.
I let out a small shaky laugh. “Thank you, Gideon.”
He kept me anchored to him. “At your service, milady.”
“You’re a perfect gentleman,” I said, teasing.
He winked in response. Gideon was a handsome man and probably around the same age as my father, but he was vastly different. In his emotions, his words and the way he just was.
Bishop Romano wasn’t exactly a bad father. But he was guarded and too busy.
He expected perfection.
And well, my flaws were too many to count and I was riddled with imperfections from my body to my heart straight down to my soul.
Gracelynn was always his favorite, even though he never said it out loud. After she died, I became his only child and no matter that my flaws were too many to count, I was still his blood and the only family he had left.
His expectations of me were high, but I did everything he demanded of me.
In the end, I only ever wanted his approval. And I got that by marrying Killian, even though it killed me.
Once I felt that I could stand on my own again, I patted Gideon’s arm and he released me. My feet were unstable on the ground and my legs were shaking, but I leaned against Ragna, letting her support me.
Three years…
It took me three years… to find what I had been searching for.
The freedom I found in Ragna.
The undeniable connection between my mare and me.
The story between us – the look in her eyes and the way my heart squeezed.
I pressed my forehead against her nuzzle. “I love you,” I whispered to her. She let out a soft breath, speaking to me in her own language. I imagined she was reciprocating the same feelings.
“Julianna!” I flinched away from Ragna and looked over my shoulder to find Mirai running toward me, flailing her arms.
I took a step away from my mare and toward her. Gideon grabbed Ragna’s bridle and guided her back to her stall and strutted away as Mirai came to a halt in front of me. She bent over, hands on her knees as she gulped in several loud breaths.
I patted her back, waiting for her to catch her breath. “Why are you running?” I asked when she straightened. Her lips parted as if to speak, but she only ended up gasping some more. “What happened.”
“Killian,” she panted.
My heart dropped to the pit of my stomach.
“Killian is here. On the island.”
My black dress swished around my feet as I walked as fast as my legs would allow me to the dining room, where Mirai told me Killian was.
I found him sitting at the head of the long dining table that could easily fit thirty people. He lazily took a bite of the juicy steak Emily had made for lunch today.
Killian must have noticed me entering the dining room, but he didn’t acknowledge my presence. I stayed by the pillars while he ate his food, enjoying his late lunch, and he never even glanced at me.
I watched him, quietly. His suit was unrumpled, his dark hair was slicked back and he was clean shaven; his sleeves were rolled up to his elbows, showing his strong forearms, and his spine was straight against the chair, his shoulders tensed.
Killian Spencer looked every bit the royalty that he was.
He dominated every room he was in, and this dining room was no difference. The air sizzled with tension and cracked under the cold pressure.
He took his sweet time, carefully cutting his steak into precise pieces and taking slow sips of his wine.
Once his plate was cleared, he dabbed the corner of his mouth with his napkin.
“I’m sure you are aware of what is expected from you, out of this contract marriage,” Killian drawled, finally acknowledging my presence but still not looking my way.
I took a step forward, my shoulder squaring. I knew exactly what he was talking about. “I know what is expected from both of us, yes.”
“You haven’t fulfilled your duty as a wife–”
“I can’t get pregnant on my own, Killian,” I snapped. “I think you are well aware of that and if you don’t know how it works, I can give you an anatomy lesson. Shall I prepare a PowerPoint? How to impregnate your wife, will be the title.”
His jaw clenched and he gripped the table, his knuckles growing white. “You’ve chosen the wrong moment to be bold, Julianna,” he threatened slowly.
I inhaled sharply, my knees shaking.
“I wasn’t talking about fucking you or getting you pregnant. I was talking about your duties as my wife. Other than carrying and birthing my child.”
My lungs clenched. I licked my lips and swallowed down the acidic bile before I could gag on it. Killian made me jittery… and when I was anxious, I made mistakes.