Fuuuuck.
I palmed my cock, squeezing at the base before pumping my length in my fist.
She was in the room adjacent to mine. The walls were so thin, she could probably hear me jerking off. But I couldn't stop. I tried, goddamn it. I tried.
I was hard, aching and... I wanted her. More than I had ever wanted anything in my life.
I shuddered as I imagined thrusting two fingers into her sweet cunt. She would clench around me, moaning, and I’d pull out, teasing her until she was writhing with need, before pushing the same two fingers inside her mouth and demanding she taste herself.
Such dirty, filthy thoughts.
Ragged, guttural groans spilled from me, and I muffled them with my pillow. I pumped my cock with my fist, angry for feeling this way but filled with so much need that I couldn’t force myself to stop. The muscles of my thighs tensed, my dick heavy and swollen in my palm as I got closer to my release.
So. Fucking. Wrong.
So. Fucking. Right.
Thick ropes of cum sprayed my stomach and coated my palm as I came, spurt after thick spurt, and I kept fisting my cock, pumping it, until my body twitched and a ragged, breathless groan came from my lips. “Lila.”
CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX
Lila
The unmistakable pressure between us was becoming harder to ignore. A month after our time in California, which was tense and awkward, the situation between Maddox and I was still same.
Maddox had become rigid and the distance grew between us.
I wished there was a way to fix this, but it was clear there was no going back, no matter how much either of us wanted to.
I was sitting on my couch, staring at the TV, although I wasn’t really watching the screen when Maddox walked inside my apartment. He wore a blank expression and had a piece of paper in his hand. The last time we saw each other was two days ago, after our last exams. This semester was officially over.
“We’re going to Paris,” he announced. “Me and you.”
Me and you. I almost laughed, a cold-humorless laugh. It used to be cute when we’d say that, but now, it hurt.
Me and you. But for how long, Maddox? We were already at the breaking apart.
“Paris, why?” I croaked, before clearing my throat. I didn’t want him to read the emotions on my face.
“It’s my birthday in four days. Daddy dearest gave me tickets to Paris as a present. Well, he mailed them to me.”
This meant his parents obviously weren’t planning to spend Maddox’s birthday with him. In all the years we’d known each other, I’d never seen his parents celebrate his birthday. No hugs, no love, no affection. It made me angry, so furious with the way they always treated Maddox.
He deserved better.
He wasn’t as complicated as everyone thought. Maddox Coulter was just a misunderstood boy who needed and deserved someone to fight for him–to show him that he was worth it.
And I was going to be that person. Even if I couldn’t do it as his lover, I was going to do it as his best friend at least.
Because, truly, he was worth all the love–all the love he never had but deserved.
“I’ve never been to Paris,” I finally confessed.
Maddox finally cracked a sincere smile. “I know, and you’re going to love it.”
City of love. And two best friends who didn’t have the courage to acknowledge whatever this was between us.
What were the odds? Fate really did like to play cruel jokes on us.
I dragged my nails over my thighs. “When do we leave?”
“Tomorrow night. That’s enough time for you to pack, right?” Maddox asked, walking further into my apartment, but still keeping a distance between us.
I nodded and then patted the couch. “Join me. I’m watching ‘Friends.’ It’s the pivot scene.”
Maddox looked undecisive, a troubled tension hanging between us.
Please say yes.
Please don’t leave me. Again.
He swallowed, his Adam’s apple bobbing with the movement, and his eyes flickered to me and the TV. Relief coursed through my veins when he took a step toward me and settled on the couch beside me, not saying a word.
A moment passed between us, I smiled – almost a timid smile, and we turned to face the TV at the same time.
A few minutes later, the brutal tension dissolved, and our shoulders shook with silent laughter at the scene we were watching. Our knees were touching, the briefest touch, but my skin tingled. My pulse raced like a freight train, and my heart palpitated; he was laughing, and I was laughing, and the world had never felt so right in that mere second.
I wanted to cherish this moment, so afterward, years later, when Maddox and I had been torn apart by our unspoken feelings, I’d remember what it felt like to be this close to him.