He pulled me tighter into his body, and I wrapped my arms around his shoulders, holding him to me. I remembered how it was, coming out of my panic attacks, the adrenaline rushing away as I came back to the present. Everything would hurt, and I’d always feel so lost.
This was Maddox right now.
So, I held him.
Because he needed to be held, even if he didn’t say the words.
He needed me.
Maddox trembled in my arms, his whole body shaking with his silent cries and tremors. As the lullaby came to an end, I pressed my lips against his cheek. “You’re going to be okay, Maddox. I got you.”
Thump – thump – thump.
There was a hollow ache in the pit of my stomach.
I embraced him.
He didn’t let go.
His breathing smoothed out, and his pounding heart slowed.
“I got you,” I soothed, running my fingers through his soft hair.
His arms clenched around me, and he nuzzled his nose into my neck. Hold me tighter, he said without any words.
I got you.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Lila
Maddox and I were still wrapped in each other’s arms when the door of the storage closet opened, and the janitor peered inside with a look of horror on his face.
“What are you two doing in here?” He held the door open, and the light from the hallway bathed the inside of the dark room.
Maddox’s grip on me tightened at the new voice, and he kept his face buried in my neck. His silent tears soaked through my blouse as I smoothed a hand down his back. “I’m right here,” I whispered in his ear before looking up at the janitor, who was limping inside. He had a bad leg, the rumors said it was from a military accident. He had been working for Berkshire for fifteen years now, and he was loved by everyone. Sweet Mister Johnson.
“We got locked in by accident,” I explained, motioning toward the TV with one hand. “We had to get the TV, but the door closed on us.”
Mr. Johnson looked down at Maddox and I, where we were still kneeling. I was practically sitting on his lap, and his arms around me were tight. Maddox was a sinking ship; he was drowning in the wreckage of a wounded heart, and I was the anchor holding him together.
I got you.
My heart couldn’t bear to let go, even though I knew I had to. Eventually.
“Is he okay?” Mr. Johnson looked mildly curious, but mostly worried.
I nodded. “Could you grab the TV for us, please? The cords are all tangled up together.”
“Of course. Let me get it. Which class are you guys in?”
“Mrs. Levi.”
“I’ll bring it. Get back to class.” He waved, shooing us away.
“Thank you, Mr. Johnson.”
My nails grazed Maddox’s scalp in a soothing manner as I ran my fingers through his hair. “Maddox?” At the sound of his name, he pulled away from me and stood up. I could tell he was still shaky, his body swaying before he found his footing again, and he refused to look at me. Still holding onto his hand, we walked out of the storage closet. His breathing has evened out now, and his face had hardened, his eyes lifeless.
Maddox was shutting down… shutting me out.
“We can grab a bottle of water from the vending machine,” I suggested, gently.
When I tried to squeeze his hand, he ripped it away from me. Like I was some kind of disease and he didn’t want to be infected. “Madd–”
“Stay away from me,” he said, and it sent chills down my spine. His voice was like a thunderclap, furious and strained.
“Maddox,” I started, but he cut me off.
“Don’t.” That was a warning, and I should’ve listened; I really should have because for the first time, I saw a different Maddox.
A boy filled with rage, but blue eyes that held a broken song.
When I tried to grab his hand again, to stop him from walking away and shutting me out, he swiveled around without warning, and I almost fell into him My lips parted with a silent gasp when he grabbed my arm in an unyielding grip and slammed me against the wall. Maddox towered over me, his jaw clenching and his eyes darkening. He looked like a raging warrior, riding into battle with the promise of death in his gaze.
His head lowered, and his breath caressed over my lips. “Tell anyone about this and I. Will. Ruin. You. Lila,” he warned, his tone thick with threat.
“I would never…” I breathed as my body went cold.
He bared his teeth with a low growl, silencing me. “It’s been harmless fun between us, but, trust me, breathe a word about this to anyone else, I will make sure you’re never able to walk through the halls of Berkshire again without wanting to cower and hide away in fear.”
“Maddox, listen. I–”