I got off the bed, away from the musky, masculine scent that kept assaulting my senses. I now realized the reason Maddox had been acting so different, why he had been so aloof.
“Is it yours?” I still asked, even though I already knew the answer. “Is this why she was texting you?”
Maddox gave me a single nod.
“How far along is she?”
Bianca didn’t look to be in her third trimester. Her pregnant belly was round and firm but petite. “Almost six months.”
Six… months.
My hand came up, and I rubbed my forehead, trying to chase away the pounding headache. My chin wobbled, and my lips trembled. I felt the sting of fresh tears in the back of my eyes. If I did my math correctly…
She and Maddox slept together about five weeks before Paris.
He said he had been celibate for… months. Five weeks was definitely not months. It was barely even one.
“You said you didn’t sleep with anyone for a long time. I didn’t know five weeks is considered a long time,” I said, almost mocking him. “It must have been torture for you to be celibate for five weeks.”
Maddox shook his head. “I don’t remember much of that night. I didn’t even know I slept with her, Lila. I hadn’t been with anyone for months, but that night… It was the party… the spring reunion party for the football team.”
The one I didn’t attend with Maddox because I had been sick and on my period.
He rubbed a hand over his face, tiredly, looking more haggard than ever. “God, I was drunk. So fucking drunk, the whole night is a blur.”
I swallowed and tried to push the ball of emotion down my throat. “How are you sure you slept with her?”
Guilt flashed in his blue eyes, and he grimaced. “I didn’t think about it before, because I didn’t remember much of that night. But when Bianca approached me and told me about it… I saw a flash of us together. I remembered going into the room with her,” Maddox croaked, the rest of his words barely audible. “When I told you I hadn’t slept with anyone in months, I wasn’t lying. I didn’t lie because, honest to God, I didn’t remember that night.”
I didn’t know what to believe in anymore.
An hour ago, I had been ready to forgive Maddox about Christian.
I had been willing to look past the fact that he kept such a secret from me. Had been willing to move on… and forgive… to accept… to love again.
And now?
We were back to square one.
“I don’t understand.” I shook my head, bringing my trembling fingers to my temple, rubbing the throbbing ache. “Why didn’t she tell you before? Why wait so long?”
His throat bobbed, as he swallowed. “She didn’t know… if she wanted to keep the baby.”
“And you? What are you going to do?” I asked quietly.
His head snapped up; fear was an apparent mask on his face. I had my answer, without him even having to say the words. My heart crash landed at my feet.
Maddox tried to reach for me, but I pushed away. “You lied to me about her. The moment you found out she was pregnant with your baby, why didn’t you tell me?”
“I didn’t know how,” he breathed. “I didn’t want to lose you.”
“It was simple. You just had to tell me the truth, that’s all I’ve ever asked from you.”
His legs gave out, and he sat on the bed, his head in his hands, a choked sound coming from him.
“You’re the best unplanned thing that has ever happened to me, Maddox. And I can’t lose you. But you’re doing everything to push… me away from you,” I whispered, my voice breaking at the end. “You’ve been telling lies, keeping secrets. Since when have you started lying to me, Maddox?”
I already had the answer to that question. Months… and months of secrets.
After everything we had been through… he tainted everything that we were with his lies.
“You said you didn’t want to lose me. But you already have,” I whispered, my voice faltering, as I spoke the hardest words in my life.
His head snapped up, and his eyes flared with torment. He was decadently handsome, a little bit broken and a mistake from the beginning.
“I’m sorry,” he choked out.
“Is that all you have to say?”
There was tears in his eyes. “I’m sorry.”
If it hurts you so much, what kind of love is this?
I knew Maddox would break my heart, but a part of me hoped he wouldn’t.
My heart wept, and a lone tear slid down my cheek. “They said you were trouble. I didn't listen. I took a chance on you. And now I regret it.”
“Don’t leave me.” His hoarse voice cracked. “Please.”
I took a step back. Maddox looked wounded, and my soul bled to see him hurt.