But Viktor didn’t let me go. I was forced to keep my legs wrapped around his waist and blindly let him walk us back into the room.
There, he settled me on my feet. I peeked at him through my lashes to see him ripping the filthy bedsheets from the bed and throwing them onto the ground. Before I could blink, he then had me laid down on the cold mattress, and Viktor settled over my body. My legs widened to accommodate his body and weight.
Viktor’s dark eyes held something I couldn’t explain. His pupils were dilated and his gaze never wavered from mine.
Thump. Beat. Thump. Beat.
It was as if…he was staring right through me, seeing the depth of me.
Thump. Beat. Thump. Beat.
I could feel his heart beating against mine.
His body was so warm over mine, and he chased the cold of the mattress away.
Thump. Beat. Thump. Beat.
His lips parted…
Thump. Beat. Thump. Beat.
Was he going to speak?
Would he accept my confession? Refuse me? Leave me behind?
Thump. Beat. Thump. Beat.
Maybe…maybe he didn’t love me. Not like I loved him.
Thump. Beat. Thump. Beat.
My chin wobbled, but I clenched my jaw.
The paper swan was broken…shattered…crumpled…on the floor.
Thump. Beat. Thump. Beat.
What if…what if we were the paper swan?
Broken. Shattered. Crumpled.
Viktor touched my cheek, and I almost sobbed. His palm caressed me, and then he nudged my nose with his, a slight teasing touch.
“My sweet myshka…”
Relief made me weak.
Thump. Beat. Thump. Beat.
My heart sang, a wild note to the music of Viktor’s own heartbeat.
“How do I explain my feeling…”
“Tell me,” I whispered.
His lips quirked up, a little smile at my command.
“You make me lust for you, in a way I have never before.” My heart flinched at his words, and it sank to the pit of my stomach. Was that just it…was that all between us?
Viktor shook his head, still smiling. “No. Not the way you are thinking. I don’t lust for your body, even though that is one thing I admire deeply. I lust for the way you look at me and the way you caress me with your gaze. I obsess over the way you stare into my soul and dance with my demons. I lust for you to speak with your sweet, unused voice and for you to dance…like a beautiful graceful swan. I lust for you, my sweet Valerie.”
He stroked my face gently, swiping the tears away. “I can feel your heart…it’s beating so fast.”
For you.
My throat closed up, but I had to push these words out. “I love you.”
He closed his eyes and released a shuddering breath. “I know.”
“Do you love me?”
Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale.
Viktor opened his eyes again. “I love you sweetly. And I love you savagely,” he confessed to me.
Thump. Beat. Thump. Beat.
My innocence had long been taken away from me.
My spirit had long been crushed.
But it was Viktor who had claimed my heart.
It was Viktor who had made love to my soul.
It was Viktor who danced with me in my dreams.
And it was Viktor…who made me feel alive.
I smiled.
And then I whispered, “Thank you.”
I love you sweetly. And I love you savagely.
Chapter 19
Viktor
My sweet myshka…
She loved me even when I wasn’t worth her love.
I used to think—what is love?
I used to believe I loved Ayla. I used to think that was love.
Then my eyes fell on her.
She was sitting in her room, alone and silent…a beautiful mirage. She was knitting and the chandelier was glowing above her.
In that moment, my treacherous heart had started to really beat. My life found its real meaning—my real purpose.
I love you.
Fuck. My eyes clenched close.
I wanted to cradle her in my arms and take her far away from all of this.
But I was torn between the loyalty I had for my family and this woman in my arms.
I wanted to protect my family. My brother…my King. His wife. His children. I wanted to allow them a chance at happiness and to never experience the bitterness of loss. They had been through enough pain.
But I also wanted to protect Valerie. I longed to steal her away and be the right man for her, be a better man for her.
I couldn’t, though…
I fucking couldn’t, and it cut me deeper than any blade.
It hurt more than the bullet that had torn through my heart when Alessio shot me.
After tonight, how could I make a choice?
My family or her?
I chuckled humorlessly. I used to the trickster, but now life was playing its own joke on me.
How could I choose my King and leave my Valerie in the hands of a monster?
No.
The thought almost made me gag. Bitter bile made its way into my mouth, and I swallowed it back down again.
I looked down to see Valerie had fallen asleep in my arms. It was both the sweetest thing and the most painful moment. Her eyes closed, her breathing was even, and she settled deeper into my embrace.