I was so grateful for that.
It was the eve of going back to work, and I was sitting on the couch, staring at the TV, while the anxiety started to pound in my chest.
My phone vibrated with a text. Hey, Emerson. This is Dex Hamilton. I got your number from my parents. I hope you don’t mind. I know we only met a couple times, but you and Lizzie were awesome, and I’m gonna miss having you around. My brother is just being an ass…and I don’t get it. Anyway, you deserve someone really great, and I hope you find someone who actually deserves you. Take care.
Reading his message made my eyes water because I would miss his family so much. It was like losing my own family. They were all so kind and so warm. Thank you, Dex. We’re going to miss you too.
“Mom?” Lizzie must have spotted my reaction from the couch.
I lifted my gaze and looked at her. “Dex texted me. Said he’s going to miss us.”
“Oh…he was really cool.”
“Yeah, he was.” I put my phone aside.
“Do you think you’ll get another job?” she asked.
I nodded. “I tried to apply to a couple places, but no one is hiring over the holidays, unfortunately. When people go back to work tomorrow, I’ll start looking again.” I would take my time with it because I really wanted a position that paid what Derek paid, or maybe a little less. I wanted to save up and buy a house outside the city so we wouldn’t be crammed into this small apartment anymore. I could commute to work so Lizzie could have more space, and my parents could have a garden to take care of.
“I’m sure you’ll get something. I just don’t want you to work there anymore.”
“Lizzie, it’s fine. It’s still a good job.”
“I know, but…” She shrugged.
This horrible event had brought out the best qualities Lizzie possessed. She was affectionate, caring, thoughtful…it was great.
“I also wanted you to know that…you don’t have to wait until I’m out of the house before you start dating again. I’m okay with you seeing guys and having your own life. I know it didn’t work out with him, but he made you really happy…for a time. You should find that again, just with someone better.”
I found it hard to believe there was a guy better than Derek Hamilton out there. They would just be disappointments. “Thanks, Lizzie. I’m not really in that place right now, but maybe someday.”
The weeks passed, and Derek and I barely interacted.
I stayed in the office and organized things around the guys, like I wasn’t even there, and Derek never made conversation with me. He never asked how I was doing. He never asked about Lizzie. His indifference was so painful. He used to care about me so deeply, but now I was just…insignificant to him.
How could someone be so cold?
But maybe his blunt indifference would make it easier for me to move on, to keep my anger to help me get over him. Then when I changed jobs, the last memory I would have of him was of his being an ass, and I would forget about him easier.
Lizzie’s grades started to fall without Derek as her tutor, and she took it pretty hard. She hid her sadness as best she could so I wouldn’t be hurt, but I knew it bothered her. She reverted to her old ways, choosing not to care about school as a coping mechanism.
Our lives deteriorated without Derek, as much as I hated to admit it.
There were rare times when I actually had to talk to Derek, and every time those happened, I felt sick to my stomach. It was like torture, being reminded of his callousness. I would always care about him, so it did hurt to see him descend into emptiness because he was so damaged by everything that he didn’t know how else to cope with it. But I was too heartbroken to care about him more than myself…like I used to. There was no excuse for what he’d done to me, for the way he’d thrown me away to protect himself.
When I set the food on the table, Jerome and Pierre walked over to grab their items.
Derek was far in the back, working on his prototype for the rover.
“You look really nice today,” Pierre said as he looked at me with affection in his eyes.
“Yeah,” Jerome said in agreement. “How’s your day going?”
The guys were so kind to me, going out of their way to make me feel better, to make up for Derek’s horrendous behavior. “Thanks. I’m good. What about you?” They probably saw the emptiness in my eyes every single day and tried to cheer me up. It was really sweet.
After they finished eating, they went back to work.