The Boy Who Has No Redemption (Soulless 8)

He turned away. “I don’t know about that.”

“I do. You’ve been great with every single intern. You inspire them. You motivate them. They’re so honored to work with you because you’re the best. When they leave, they’re going to be well prepared in the workforce. They’ll do amazing things. That’s because of you.”

He stayed quiet.

I waited for him to say more.

“This company and my work used to be the most important thing to me. It was my entire identity. But now, I don’t really associate with it anymore. What does it matter that I’m the best engineer in the world? Not when I’ve taken my family for granted, I’ve hurt the women I love, and I’ve failed to forgive people who beg for it.” He dropped his chin and looked at his hands.

His regrets struck a chord with me, disturbing me deep down inside, making his pain leave his body and transfer into mine. I knew he spoke to me as his friend, as someone to unload on, because he didn’t have anyone else. “Women…?” Was he referring to Tabitha in that statement?

He nodded. “You and Lizzie.”

My heart tightened at the realization. Paul’s reaction to her existence made me appreciate Derek’s words even more, because he had been upset when he’d found out about Lizzie, but he didn’t act like that. He got to know her. He cared about her. I knew those feelings were genuine. “Times are hard right now. But they’ll get better, Derek. Life is a constant state of impermanence. It won’t always be this way. Just remember that.” It was hard to stay bitter and angry toward him, even when he’d remained cold to me when I’d needed him most. His sadness made me sad. I didn’t want him to suffer forever. I wanted him to be happy. He’d shown his remorse and expressed his regrets, but he couldn’t be in that state forever. He deserved to be free, to move on.

He turned back to me, his eyes both empty and full of pain. “Times were hard before. I was depressed. My priorities were completely wrong. I spent more time focusing on the bad instead of appreciating the good. And then you came into my life…and I was happy. I was happier than I’d ever been in my entire life. I was spending time with my family, appreciating each one of them. I never thought I could love someone like a daughter, but I did. I was finally where I was supposed to be. But I threw it all away. I agree that life is never constant, it’s always changing, but…I’ll never be happy like that again. I think…it’s going to get worse.”

17

Derek

When school had been out for fifteen minutes, I walked into the building and headed for the classroom I’d visited before. There were a few kids still on campus, hanging out near the front while they waited for their parents to pick them up. There were only a few months left in the semester, and the kids seemed eager to move on.

I walked into the classroom and found Mr. Franklin sitting behind his desk, wearing his wrinkled shirt and a tie that didn’t match his outfit at all.

He lifted his gaze and looked through the thick lenses of his glasses to stare at me. His expression took on a subtle change, but he instantly looked panicked to see me again.

I approached his desk and slid my hands into my pockets, trying to look as unthreatening as possible. “Mr. Franklin—”

“Her work is wrong, and her answers are wrong. I’m not failing her on purpose—”

“I understand that, Mr. Franklin. I haven’t been tutoring her for a while, and we’re going to resume that instruction. I was wondering if I could have a copy of your textbook and the syllabus.” I hoped he wouldn’t find it suspicious that Lizzie didn’t give it to me herself.

He immediately opened a drawer and grabbed a textbook along with a copy of the syllabus, like he just wanted to get rid of me as quickly as possible instead of questioning my actions.

I pulled out my wallet and set some cash on the desk. “Thanks.” I grabbed everything and walked out.

I set up the stand near my dining table and slipped my device into the grip. I turned on the camera and flipped the screen so I could see the image of my dining table and the window. When it looked right, I moved to the chair at the dining table and hooked my phone to the stand on the surface, pointing the camera down onto my paper. My laptop was open and receiving the feed from both cameras at the same time. One half of the screen focused on my face, while the other focused on the paper and all the work I was about to show. “Hey, Lizzie. I know I can’t help you in person, so maybe these videos will help.” I wasn’t sure if she would use them or delete them just on principle, but I had to try. It wasn’t an attempt to reconnect with her and then possibly reconnect with her mother. I truly just wanted to help her…and help her succeed.