The Boy Who Has No Redemption (Soulless 8)

I inhaled a deep breath and wiped the tears away with my fingers, doing my best to be discreet about it.

“Are you crying?”

I shook my head.

“Derek?”

I closed my eyes for a moment before I turned back to her, so she could see my face, so I could face the accusation head on. “I would literally give anything to get that back, Liz. You…you have no idea. I can’t imagine being with someone besides your mother. I can’t imagine having a family without you being a member of that family. This place feels like home, with you two. I don’t want to go back to my big-ass penthouse just to hear my own fucking echo. I don’t want to go back and feel alone.”

Her eyes softened as she looked at me, as she looked at the pain I wore on my sleeve.

I faced forward again. “I’ve tried to make it work with your mother, but she won’t…she won’t forgive me. I don’t blame her. She won’t trust me again.”

Lizzie stayed quiet.

I quickly wiped away the new set of tears that dripped down the bridge of my nose. “I hope you watch my videos because I want you to do well in school, even if some other guy replaces me. I want you to call me if you need help, because I’m always here to help you.” I leaned forward with my elbows on my knees then rose to my feet so I could let myself out. “And I hope you know that I love you…always will.”

“Derek.” Her body knocked into mine as she came into my side and hugged me, squeezed me tightly.

I stilled at her affection, feeling my lips tremble. I froze as I let her hug me, rigid because it took me a moment to compose my features before I turned to her and returned the hug, holding her tightly, squeezing her in an embrace that would be impossible to end.

I could have had this every day for the rest of my life, but I blew it.

I fucking blew it.

22

Emerson

A week came and went.

Derek still only came to work two days a week. Even though his family had been given good news, he still chose to spend time with her, which I thought was really sweet. He was still bringing them groceries and helping out around the house, not switching back to his old routine just because things were good again.

I considered calling that company to see if they would still offer me the job.

But I didn’t.

I stopped going on job interviews too.

I needed to move on with my life and cut ties, but now I abandoned it.

I was in my office when Astra Books called for the millionth time.

“What the fuck is going on with Derek?” Mark barked. “He hasn’t returned any of my phone calls—”

“His mom has cancer.”

Mark turned silent.

“He’s been dealing with that for the last eight weeks. I think that’s why he’s been unreachable.”

“Oh, sorry to hear that.”

“But his mother has made some progress in the right direction, so let me talk to him about the book, and I’ll get back to you.”

Normally, he would have kept screaming, but this time, he let it go. “Alright.” He hung up.

Derek had one more book in this series to write, and without even asking him, I knew he hadn’t written a single word. Before his mother was sick, he was too busy being an asshole to tap into his emotional side. And after she became ill, he was too stressed to think about anything else, let alone writing a book.

I’d probably have to get him back on track, not for him or me, but for all the fans who needed his story.

Cleo texted me. Did Derek tell you the good news?

He did. He stopped by and told me in person. That makes me so happy.

Yes. Deacon has finally been himself again. Daisy paused her semester to be home, so I’m surrounded by my family, and it’s been a lovely time.

Good. I’m glad to hear that.

You and Lizzie want to come over for dinner tonight?

I wanted to see her, but I didn’t want to deal with Derek. He’d been keeping his distance lately, and it’d been a lot easier to be around him. Lizzie told me he apologized and then left the apartment, and that was it. Maybe Lizzie had said something to really make Derek give up. I wasn’t sure.

When I didn’t text back, Cleo texted again. Derek won’t be here, if that’s what you’re worried about.

Lizzie has practice tonight, so I think it’ll just be me.

That’s fine. Can’t wait to see you.

Dinner was just Cleo and me. Deacon and Daisy went to the movies. Derek must have been at home.

Deacon cooked dinner and put everything on the table before he left, so we enjoyed the gourmet cooking while I sipped a glass of wine. Cleo wasn’t drinking right now, so she stuck with water.