“Scotch.”
“She just needs time.” He sat across from me, never looking at the time on his phone because his attention was entirely on me. Hours passed, and he never looked tired, even though he had work in the morning. “Give it to her.”
“I’m just afraid all the time in the world won’t be enough. She’ll meet someone and forget about me.”
“Not possible. There’s no man out there who’s better than you.”
“You’re a bit biased, Dad.”
“I know. But doesn’t mean I’m wrong.”
I lifted my gaze and looked at him.
“She knows it too. She’s just hurt and scared—understandably. Your mother and I had a rough patch before we got married. She gave me all the time I needed, and then we worked it out.”
“What did Mom do?”
“Doesn’t matter.”
I couldn’t imagine Mom doing anything remotely close to what I did, and I doubted it was nearly as egregious, so that didn’t make me feel better.
“I think there’s something you can do to fix her insecurities, but it’s not something you should do if it’s disingenuous. You should only do it if you absolutely mean it, if you’re serious about it, if there are no doubts.”
I had no idea what that could be.
“Ask her to marry you.”
I had no reaction because I didn’t think that was a great idea. “She knows I want to be with her forever. I’ve told her that already. I told her I want to be a father to Lizzie.”
“It’s one thing to say it and another to put your money where your mouth is. She’s scared you’re going to leave again when you hit another rough patch. What’s a more powerful way of assuaging her fears than by making a commitment like that?”
I dropped my gaze and stared at the table.
“But don’t do it if you’re not ready. Don’t do it if there’s any doubt. Don’t ask her to marry you unless you mean it—”
“I’d marry her tomorrow if she wanted.”
He turned quiet as he stared at me. “Then ask her.”
“You think she’d say yes?”
He shrugged. “I don’t know, Derek. But I doubt she’ll say no.”
“You don’t think it’s too soon? I haven’t even known her for a year.”
“I don’t think love can be measured by time in a linear aspect. Your mother and I weren’t together very long before I asked her. I’m sure you remember that.”
I nodded. “Yeah.” I remembered proposing to her with my dad, because we came as a set. “I just…wanted your approval.”
“You don’t need my approval, little man. The fact that you aren’t scared to get married after everything that happened with Tabitha tells me you’re absolutely confident in this decision.”
When I told Emerson I wanted her forever, I meant it. I’d said it before we broke up, and I meant it then too. But now I meant it differently, because I wanted more than a marriage; I wanted to be a family. I wanted to come home every day and see Lizzie there, to watch TV before bed, to help her with her homework, to take care of both of them every single day. “Yeah…I am.”
24
Emerson
A week passed, and Derek didn’t try to talk to me again.
I wasn’t naïve enough to assume that was the end of it.
He would keep coming…and coming.
I started to realize there was no way out of this. Derek would always be such a big part of my past that he would also always be part of my future. Even if I continued to date, I would always compare them to the man who stole my heart.
There was no escape.
It was a form of emotional torture that would never stop.
My only option was to get another job and cut ties with him completely. If I didn’t, I would never get over him.
And I wasn’t entirely sure if I wanted to get over him.
When the interns started at the company, it was a bit chaotic. I was all over the place, helping the engineers with the schedule, switching interns with their mentors because of personality mismatches. It was nice to do something different, to be involved in something that would make a difference in the long run, but I could never get away from Derek Hamilton even when he wasn’t in the room.
Because everyone adored him.
Every person revered him for his mind, for his philanthropic causes, his commitment to doing the best every single day without fail. He was the most inspiring person I’d ever met…and also the most beautiful.
I couldn’t believe he’d ever been mine in the first place.
Any woman would kill to take my place. Any other woman would forgive him in a heartbeat.
But I actually loved him, so that was why it was hard to forgive him, because I loved him more than anyone ever could. He hurt me deeper, hurt me harder, ruined me more than he could have ruined anyone else.