I could see the sincerity in his eyes like a beacon from a lighthouse, bringing all those lost souls home. It was true and bright, glowing. Poor decisions in my youth gave me a rough life, but life had never been as hard as when he left. “Derek, people get divorced all the time. You can still—”
“No, not us. This is a lifetime commitment, and I take that seriously. It’s not just a piece of paper to me. I want to completely share my life with you, every penny I have, everything I have.”
I shook my head. “After a few signatures on a prenup, there would be no consequences for you leaving me, and you can just kick me out—”
“No. I would never ask you to sign anything like that.”
“Then you’re stupid.”
“Take all my money, Emerson. I don’t care. You’re all I care about. You’re the only thing I would miss if you left me, not the money.”
I turned away because he had a counter to everything I said, a deeply romantic one. Everything I wanted was right on the table, and all I had to do was take it.
He must have seen my resistance wane because he came closer. “Baby, come on. Let me take care of you. Let me take care of your daughter. Let me make you happy. Let me spend the rest of our lives making up for what I did. You can’t say I would ever hurt you again because I’ve more than proven I never will. Take me back, and this hell will end. The rest of our lives will begin.”
I kept my eyes on him and ignored the ring resting in his palm, the promise that would bind us together forever. Flashbacks of our relationship came back to me, stripping off our clothes in my bedroom in the dark, calling me family in front of his family, the dedication he wrote in the books he gave me…the first time he told me he loved me. But there were also other flashbacks too, the depression in my heart every time I looked at our Christmas tree, the sadness in my daughter’s eyes every time she looked at me, the vast emptiness he left behind when he ran off to someone else.
I turned away.
“Baby.”
I kept walking.
“Emerson, come on.” He came after me again and grabbed me.
I pushed his hand away this time. “Leave me alone, Derek.” I was on the verge of tears, but I managed to restrain them, managed to get control of them so I wouldn’t burst into an emotional tirade in front of him.
“You didn’t say no.” His eyes shifted back and forth quickly as he looked into my gaze, trying to read past the silence and to the thoughts deep within.
I turned away. “I didn’t say yes either.”
“But you didn’t say no…”
Lizzie knew I was in a bad mood, so she stayed quiet, working on her homework on the couch, lifting her gaze to glance at me in the armchair as I sipped my wine.
I’d picked up dinner on the way because I was in no mood to cook. I just wanted to eat, have some wine, and go to sleep. But the next morning, I’d have to wake up and do it all over again, see Derek all over again.
If I didn’t have a daughter, I would drink a whole bottle of wine tonight.
Lizzie returned her schoolwork to her backpack. “Mom? What happened?”
“Nothing…just a long day.”
It was time for bed, but she stayed in the living room with me, watching me as I watched the TV.
“Mom, I have to tell you something.”
The tone of her voice and her choice of words made me turn my head quickly. My hand returned the glass to the end table beside me.
“The reason why I’m doing so well in math is because…Derek is helping me.”
I couldn’t contain my sigh of irritation. I should have known what was going on right under my nose. No matter what tutor I got for Lizzie, she continued to fail, and then she miraculously found a tutor who helped her earn A’s.
“He started helping me a while ago. He makes videos for me and sends them to me.”
I stared at her and had nothing to say. Derek had successfully won my daughter’s heart, and her allegiance was to him and not me.
“I told him I didn’t want his help at first. I told him I hated him for the way he hurt you. But when he got rid of that guy, I started to feel differently toward him.”
“What guy?” I whispered.
“That guy who came here asking for money…”
I closed my eyes as the humiliation swept over me. I thought it was odd that Paul was so aggressive and then he just disappeared—right off the face of the earth. “You told him about that?”