I hadn’t anticipated that answer. “I didn’t know you felt that way.”
“I don’t have any regrets at all, but…it just seems daunting to start that process all over again.”
I nodded in understanding. “Makes sense.”
“So, that’s something we need to figure out. Who will make the compromise—you or me?” Her hands came together on the table, and she gently fidgeted as she looked down at her palms.
At the end of the day, I was not losing Emerson. She and I were meant to be together. There had to be another compromise we could make. I searched for a solution in silence. “I didn’t realize I wanted a family until recently, not until I connected with Lizzie and found myself again. But it’s something I really want now. It’s not that I wouldn’t consider Lizzie to be my own, just the way my mother has always loved me like a son rather than a stepson, but I missed all those years…the diapers, the walking, the first day of kindergarten. I didn’t get that experience.”
“Yeah.”
“So, this is my compromise.” I stared at her until she looked at me again. “You took care of Lizzie on your own, with the help of your parents, and your entire life has been full of sacrifices because of your daughter. But you did that alone. This time, you have me. I will always be there.”
“But you’re very dedicated to your work, Derek—”
“My family will always be my top priority. Work will always be second. That’s not an empty promise. My dad has a really important career, but he never missed anything when I was growing up. He didn’t push us on a nanny or my mom. He made sacrifices and made it work, not because he had to, but because he wanted to. I would do the same thing. I would be there because I want to be there.”
She watched me with eyes that started to soften.
“Between my parents, your parents, and our nanny, we’ll be able to travel. Just the two of us. Wherever you want to go, I’ll take you. We’ll have time for us. Is that something you’d be willing to do?”
She held my gaze as she considered my proposal, gently sucking the inside of her cheek. “Yeah, it is.”
I got to have both things I wanted.
“When you put it like that, it doesn’t sound as daunting as it was when it was just Lizzie and me. I know you’ll be a good father, Derek. And I would love to have your babies…they’d be perfect.”
“Yeah?” I’d make them right now if she was into it.
A slight smile moved on to her lips. “Yeah.”
After my mom finished her last treatment, it was officially over.
She beat it.
My dad was even happier than he was the last time we went to the doctor. He was affectionate, smiling, snuggling with my mom on the couch and kissing her like he didn’t care that she was still missing her hair.
Daisy didn’t return to her semester at Harvard because she wanted to stay home anyway.
I continued to work part time because I wanted to be with her too.
It was time to celebrate together, not to go back to our lives that were driven by work and responsibilities, shit that wasn’t more important than us as a family.
Mom sat across from me on the couch and moved her checkers piece. “So, are you going to stop letting me win?”
I grinned. “No.”
She chuckled. “I’m used to being the dumbest person in this family, so you can stop.”
“You aren’t dumb, Mom. You’re smarter than all of us. How else would you become the backbone of this family?” I moved my piece and looked at her.
Her eyes were soft as they stared at me, her smile slowly fading. “It’s nice to have you back, honey.”
I dropped my gaze because I would become emotional if I stared too long. “Yeah, it is.”
She made her move. “How are things with Emerson?”
“Still taking it slow.”
“Good.”
“We talked about having a family.”
“Yeah? That doesn’t sound slow to me…”
I chuckled. “It doesn’t, huh?”
“And what was decided?”
“She said she was apprehensive because if she had more kids, she would be a mom her entire life, but I told her it would be different with me, that I would be a present father, that I could take care of her and still take her around the world.”
“Good answer, honey. I want to have more grandchildren from you.”
I loved that she already considered Lizzie family. That was just the kind of person my mom was. She just loved people for no reason. She included them without hesitation. “And you think that your life will end when you have children, but it doesn’t end, it just changes, that’s all. I think you and Emerson will fall more in love.”
“Yeah, maybe.” It was hard to imagine loving her more than I already did.