‘Be honest—you were only objecting because it was my suggestion.’ What was it about her that meant she just couldn’t ever admit he was right, or that an idea he had might be worthwhile?
‘Pretty much.’ She flashed him a smile, and he forgave her. At least she admitted her prejudices. ‘But it would be good to get some fresh air. And it might help Jamie drop off.’
‘Exactly. And that almost sounded like you were agreeing with me for a moment there.’
Alice’s face turned serious. ‘I’ll have to watch that. Bad habit to get into.’
* * *
It took a few minutes to get the three of them prepared to leave the castle. First, they all needed to get wrapped up warm enough to cope with the British winter. Then Jamie threw up his milk all over Alice’s jumper and she had to get changed. But eventually they were ready. Jamie nestled against Liam’s chest, his tiny face peeping out from under his hood with ears. Liam appreciated the extra warmth the minute they stepped outside.
‘Jesus, this country of yours is cold.’
‘It’s yours now too, remember,’ Alice commented as she strode off towards the fields at the back of the castle.
‘So it is.’ The thought was an astonishing one. That he belonged here—on this frozen, far-flung island. Not in the heat and the beaches of the country of his birth. The place he’d spent so long looking for home.
Instead, he’d apparently found it in the last place he’d expected.
No. Liam shook his head as he hurried to catch up with Alice. Thornwood Castle would never truly be home. How could it? It was an antiquated folly full of bad memories and family expectations. The castle wasn’t home—it was a money-making scheme, at best.
But the land around it... Liam had to admit that the English countryside looked stunning, coated in a layer of frost that sparkled and shone in the winter sunlight. The air was cold but crisp, a sharp bitterness that woke up every cell in his body as he walked out into it. Overhead, the occasional bird chirped out from the bare trees and as they crested a small rise on the well-trodden path the village of Thornwood sprung into sight below them, all honey-coloured stone and the rising spire of the church. Picture perfect.
When he’d arrived, on that grey, rainy day, he’d decided that winter in Britain was unbearable—lifeless and miserable, depressing and dead. It had fitted perfectly with his memories of Rose and Thornwood.
Today, the world looked different. It looked alive—vibrant and full of possibility—from the wisps of smoke from a cottage chimney, to the warmth of Jamie’s body tucked against his.
He hadn’t expected life from this place. Hadn’t for a moment thought he’d find anything that could entice him to stay any longer than he had to.
‘It’s beautiful, isn’t it?’ Alice said beside him.
‘It is.’ He glanced down at her, at her shining face, her hair like spun gold in the sunlight, and knew he wasn’t just talking about the view. ‘I’m starting to think you might not really want to leave.’
She didn’t answer, but he didn’t need her to. He could see the truth of it on her face.
Alice came alive in this place too. When they’d first met, he’d thought she was just another Thornwood relic—cold and unfeeling, miserable. But over the week or so that he’d been there she’d already shown him so many other parts of herself. Her passion for her mission, her love for the women she helped, and for Thornwood itself. But more than anything, the way she looked at Jamie.
Her face as she held that baby in her arms told him almost everything he needed to know about her.
But only almost.
It told him how brightly she could love, how fiercely. It told him what mattered to her—that every person had a place they could go that was safe, that could be called home.
But it didn’t tell him what had caused the sadness behind her eyes as she looked at Jamie. And Liam knew he couldn’t leave Thornwood until he’d found the answer to that question.
He blinked as she smiled up at him, and he felt something unfurl in his chest that he’d almost forgotten had ever been there.
He couldn’t be falling for Alice Walters. Could he?
CHAPTER TEN
ALICE LOOKED AWAY from Liam’s face, uneasy with what she saw there. Or, rather, how his expression made her feel.
He looked like a man who had found the promised land. Who had finally realised how much Thornwood Castle had to give him. He looked as if he’d come back to life—utterly unlike the laid-back, bored and uncaring man who’d arrived a week ago.
This Liam would want to jump into making changes immediately—which meant getting her out of there.
‘Come on,’ he said. ‘Why don’t we take a look around at some possible sites for your women? I think there were some barns over to the east of the castle...?’
She nodded. ‘Of course.’ He was already walking ahead but she didn’t try to catch up, following a few steps behind instead, his earlier words echoing in her brain.
‘I’m starting to think you might not really want to leave,’ he’d said.
But of course he was finding a way to get rid of her anyway.
The truth was, she wasn’t sure she wanted to leave. But that feeling had nothing to do with the view, or the castle, or even the women she helped there. Well, maybe the women.
But the biggest reason for that feeling was snoozing happily, his little face resting against Liam’s chest.
When she’d looked out over the village, she’d had a vision. A daydream, she supposed, but one so vivid it felt as if she could reach out and claim it for her own.
She’d imagined leaving a chocolate box cottage home and taking Jamie down to the village—as a baby, as a toddler, as a boy. Imagined walking down the path to the local school on a summer’s morning, or the playground on a Saturday afternoon.
An entire life with Jamie had flashed before her eyes, as impossible as anything she’d ever wanted. As any of the dreams that had been stripped away from her four years ago.
Jamie wasn’t her child, and he never would be. Daydreaming about a future with him could only bring her more misery.
And she wasn’t even going to admit to herself the other part of that idle daydream—the man walking beside them, laughing and loving them both.
She hadn’t seen his face, but even in her vision she’d known exactly who he was. And Liam Jenkins was an even more impossible part of her future than Jamie, for so many reasons.
No, she had to give up these thoughts. And she had to step up their efforts to find Jamie’s real mother. If they couldn’t find her, then she’d have to give Jamie up at the end of the week anyway, and who knew what would happen to him then? She was under no illusion that the care system in the UK was any better than the one that had let Liam down.
‘What do you think?’ Liam asked, and Alice realised, belatedly, that they’d reached the first of the barns he was considering as a possible location for her groups.
She blinked and tried to think objectively for an argument that sounded more impressive than I don’t like them.
‘I know they’re not in great shape now,’ he went on. ‘But you have to ignore the state of them. I can fix all that, trust me. It’s more about the location, and the possibility.’
‘And the planning permission.’ She was bursting his bubble, she knew, but she didn’t care. She prided herself on being realistic. If Liam was pursuing flights of fancy with her future, she’d have to rein him in.
Just like she had to quash her own daydreams.
She turned and looked back over the path they’d walked, then spun slowly in a circle to take in the full surroundings. The location was what mattered, he’d said. And the location sucked.
‘Won’t work,’ she said bluntly. ‘What else have you got?’
‘Hang on. I need more than that.’ Liam’s smile had faded slightly, along with his enthusiasm. ‘Why won’t it work?’
‘It’s too far from the village. There’s no easy road access—and that would be a nightmare to try and get permission for. And the path we just took isn’t suitable for pushchairs. So, like I said, what else have you got?’
‘Reasonable objections,’ Liam admitted. ‘But I’ll find you your perfect location yet. Come on.’
They viewed three more sites before Jamie woke up hungry. Fortunately the last one—not big enough, and too close to the village this time—was a short walk from the Ring O’ Bells, which served a tasty steak sandwich and chips and also had good baby facilities.
By the time they were all suitably replenished, the afternoon was wearing on.
‘It’s getting towards the shortest day,’ Alice noted as she shrugged on her coat again. ‘It’ll be dark in an hour and a half. We should head back to the castle.’
Liam nodded. ‘Okay. There’s one more site I wanted to show you, but it’s on our way anyway.’
If it was on their way, Alice was pretty sure it wouldn’t work as a venue for her women. They needed to be far enough away from the village that they couldn’t be observed going in and out—otherwise a lot of them wouldn’t come in the first place. Privacy and discretion were important.
But if it was on their way she couldn’t reasonably refuse to view it either. She’d promised she’d be open-minded, so she strapped Jamie onto her front this time and trudged after Liam back up the hill towards the castle in the distance.
After about ten minutes, Liam veered off the path, up a small side track through a small copse of trees. ‘I think it’s up here.’