Except it did, however much it hurt to admit. ‘Why does it matter so much to you that you know everything about my life?’
‘Because I want to understand you!’ Violet glanced around her to make sure no one else had come into the bar and started listening, but Tom obviously didn’t care if they had. He was on a roll. ‘Violet, you are a mystery to me. And uncovering mysteries is kind of my job.’
‘But why do you care?’ Violet whispered, knowing she was really asking Why did you kiss me? and wishing she didn’t need to know the answer so much. How had he got so cleanly under her skin? She’d only known the man a couple of weeks, but suddenly all she wanted in the world was to hear him say that she mattered to him.
‘Because...because you’re more than your past. You’re...God, Violet, you could be anything you wanted, and you’re hiding away at Huntingdon Hall. I want to understand you, to know the truth of you. I want...I want you to trust me.’
Didn’t it always come down to that? Violet took a breath. ‘I came here today, didn’t I?’
‘You did,’ Tom admitted. ‘And why was that? I mean, why did you take on the concert at all if you’re not desperate to get back to doing something with your life?’
Why had she? It seemed so long ago already that she’d agreed to it. ‘I think it was partly to prove a point to you,’ she admitted. ‘After we met at the airport... It felt like you thought I was nothing more than my parents’ name and my own infamous internet appearance. I wanted to prove I was something more, I guess.’
‘Good! Because you are. And I’m so damn glad you’re starting to see it.’ He took a long sip of his pint, then frowned. ‘If that was only part of the reason, what was the rest?’
He was sitting too close to her to let her think straight. Violet wished she’d picked one of the other tables, one with two chairs on opposing sides, rather than this booth table with one long semi-circular seat. Here, he could keep sliding round until their legs were nearly touching and she couldn’t concentrate on anything else...
A question. He’d asked her a question.
‘I guess...I didn’t want to let Rose down. Or my parents. And...’
‘Yeah?’ Another inch closer, and she could feel the length of his thigh against hers, warm and comforting. His arm was almost around her shoulders, resting on the back of the booth behind her, cocooning her, keeping her close and safe. Letting her know she could tell him her secrets.
‘I wanted to do...more, I guess. I know you think I’ve just been hanging around at home, arranging the odd bouquet or something. And maybe that’s what I wanted people to think, because then they wouldn’t expect too much. I don’t know.’ She took a breath. This wasn’t like her past, this was her life, and she wasn’t ashamed of it—actually, she was pretty proud of it.
‘I do a lot in our community, besides just the flowers, you know. I help out with pensioners’ lunches at the church, I run a counselling group and...Mum and I, we set up a helpline. It’s national, and it doesn’t have our name on it anywhere. But we take calls from kids and teenagers who just need someone to talk to, or need help escaping from dangerous situations. I do a shift on the phones most days, and I take a lot of calls from teenage girls in their first relationships. Girls who’ve got in too far too fast and don’t know how to get out again. I help them.’
She stopped, aware that Tom’s hand was on her shoulder now and he was staring down at her, his eyes full of intensity and feeling she couldn’t quite decipher.
‘So, anyway. Not just sitting around arranging flowers,’ she said. ‘But I wanted to do more, and the concert...well, it wasn’t about me, so it seemed like a safe way to try and do it.’
Tom shook his head. ‘Every time I think I’ve got you sussed out, you go and surprise the hell out of me again and prove you’re more than I could have even imagined.’
Violet stared up at him. ‘Yeah?’
‘Yeah.’ Their gazes locked, and she knew before he dipped his head that he was going to kiss her again. And she wanted it so much...but something made her pull back.
‘Wait,’ she said, and hoped she wouldn’t regret it for the rest of her life.
* * *
The woman was trying to kill him. That was all there was to it.
Swallowing hard, Tom backed up. Not too far—not far enough to let her forget that gorgeous chemistry that sizzled between them. Just enough for her to know that he wouldn’t push anything until she was ready.
‘What’s the matter?’ he asked, trying to find some rationality. But all he could think about was kissing her again, even when she’d made it very clear she didn’t want that.
God, he was an idiot. What was he doing? Hell, what was he thinking? She was a subject. Not even that, the daughter of his subject. A secondary interest, worth about twenty pages in the book.
Not someone he should be falling for.
‘I don’t know.’ Violet stared down at her hands, and Tom wished he could read her mind. ‘I just...I’m not sure this is a good idea.’
Tom was. At least his body was damn certain it was the best idea he’d had in years.
‘Why not?’ he asked, disappointment clenching his chest even as he tried to fight it off. She was wary, he knew that. He just needed to win her over. Talk her round. It was all just words—and he was good at words. It was kind of his job, right?
‘Because you’re a reporter. Because I don’t really do relationships. Because you’re working for Dad. A million reasons.’
‘None of which sound like you don’t feel the same things I do when we’re together.’ She had to feel it too, right? No way that kind of connection only worked one way. It wasn’t possible.
Violet sighed. ‘Look, I’m not saying I’m not...that there isn’t... Okay, fine. Yes, I’m attracted to you, even when I don’t want to be. But that doesn’t mean we need to...do anything about it. You’re staying with my family, working with my parents... We can’t risk screwing all that up.’
‘It would be worth it.’ He was damn sure of that. Even if she was only making the same arguments that had been buzzing round his head for days.
‘Come on, Tom.’ Violet’s lips twisted up in a half smile. ‘This is your big break. Don’t tell me you’d be willing to risk that just for a quick tawdry fling with the Sex Tape Twin.’
‘Don’t say that,’ Tom snapped. How could she still say that, after everything she’d just told him? ‘That’s not who you are. Not any more. And never to me.’
‘I was, though. That was the first thing you knew about me. And the first thing I knew about you was that you’d watched that damn video.’
‘It was work. I didn’t...’ God, there was no excuse here that would work, was there? ‘You weren’t...you to me then. You weren’t Violet.’
Violet’s smile was sad. ‘But that’s the point, isn’t it? I’m not me to anyone. I’m just that stupid, naïve girl in a sexy video. I’m never just Violet.’
‘You are to me now,’ Tom promised.
‘I hope so.’ She looked up at him at last, blue eyes wide. ‘But in lots of ways you’re still just The Reporter to me. I don’t...it’s weird to think that I’ve opened up to you more than anyone since Will, but I still barely know anything about you.’
Well, that he could fix, surely? ‘What do you want to know?’
‘Everything,’ Violet replied. ‘But not tonight, I don’t think. I need a little time to...process everything. I mean, I did something huge today, facing down Jake Collins. I couldn’t have done that before, not even a month ago—I just froze up in front of people like that, knowing they were laughing at me inside. I’m changing, and I like it, and I think...I think a lot of it has to do with you being here. But it’s all happening so fast, and I still have so much left to do for the concert, and...’
‘You need time. I get that.’ Disappointment warred with relief inside Tom. She wanted to know everything—and that meant she wasn’t the only one who needed time. He needed to think about this too.
To figure out how much he could tell her, how far he could let her in before she reached the stuff that would just make her kick him out completely. ‘This wouldn’t...this isn’t a fling, Violet, not for me. And I don’t think it is for you either. So we can take our time.’ Even if the restraint it required was physically painful.
He managed a small smile for her, and shifted just a little further back. ‘We’ll talk soon, yeah? I need to go figure out all my cutest childhood tales and stories of selfless behaviour to win you over with.’
Violet paused with one hand on her handbag and threw him a serious look. ‘Those aren’t the ones I want to hear, Tom. I want the truth, same as you. It’s the only way I can learn to trust you.’ She leant over and pressed a kiss to the side of his mouth before grabbing her room key from the table and heading for the lobby.
The truth. Tom stared after her as she disappeared into the elevator, her golden hair flowing behind her.
The truth was the one thing he definitely couldn’t tell her.
Draining the rest of his drink, Tom grabbed his own room key and prepared to head up. He had a lot of thinking—and writing—to do.