She’d never wondered what kind of lover Duc might be. But all of a sudden in a few moves she knew. Masterful. Decisive.
Her legs were shaking as she responded to his every move, matching him all the way.
Her hands slid under his T-shirt, sending shudders of desire through her as she felt the hard planes of muscle and the dark hairs on his chest. At the same time one of his hands slipped under her top and he ran his fingers up her spine.
The move set every nerve firing under her skin, and her breath caught somewhere in her throat.
He bumped her back against the sink and she pushed herself upwards, making room for him to step forward and letting her wrap her legs around his waist.
Her brain was completely lost in the moment, lost in the part frustration, part desire that had erupted from inside.
She wasn’t sure what had triggered the change in them both, but from the moment she’d set eyes on him at Hanoi airport she’d just known something was different between them.
For a few days she’d told herself it was his sadness and the obvious grief that was overwhelming him, but it hadn’t taken long to realise that there was something else—something underlying—no matter how much they both tried to ignore it.
But she didn’t want to ignore it any more—she didn’t want to pretend this connection wasn’t there.
Her hands tugged at his thick hair as his lips trailed a path down the side of her neck. She could see the pulse at the base of his throat racing just as much as her own.
She tipped her head back and let out a groan as the sensations started to overwhelm her, then Duc froze.
She sensed it automatically. His muscles tensing, his lips lifting from her skin.
She opened the eyes she’d just closed. ‘Wh-what is it?’ she breathed. She didn’t want this to stop.
Duc was still frozen, his lips just inches from her neck and his hands on her skin.
He lifted his head, his dark eyes locking with hers. ‘Vivienne, what are we doing?’ The huskiness was still there, but now there was a sense of something else—a sense of panic. A sense of removal.
It was like a cool breeze dancing over her skin. It would be so easy to continue. So easy just to let the heat of the moment take them and carry them on to the next place.
Right now, that was exactly what she wanted.
All her words were lost somewhere in her throat. She didn’t know how to answer that question.
Her pause made him step back, taking his hands from her skin. His eyes were shot with worry and confusion.
‘I’m sorry,’ he said. He could barely look at her. ‘I don’t know what came over me. You’re the best friend I’ve got. The last thing I want to do is anything that will affect our friendship.’ His hand came up and ran through his hair—the hair that moments ago she had tangled through her own fingers.
He took another step back, his voice racked with emotion. ‘You’re it for me, Viv. You’re all I’ve got left. I can’t mess this up.’
‘Of course.’ She could barely get the words out, rejection stinging harder than she’d thought possible.
She jumped down from the sink edge and walked back over to the table. ‘Let’s just write it off to a moment of madness.’
His tight shoulders sagged, and his sigh of relief made her stomach twist and turn. Tears threatened, gathering in her eyes.
She turned away so she wasn’t facing him. ‘I need to dry off,’ she said, her hands leaving the plates she’d been about to lift from the table.
He reached a hand out towards her and she flinched away. ‘I don’t want this to spoil things between us. You’re too important to me.’
She didn’t feel important. She felt like the giant elephant in the room.
She waved her hand as she headed towards her room. ‘Forget it.’ She waved the hand over her shoulder. ‘Tomorrow is a brand-new day.’
She closed the door behind her before he had a chance to respond. Every nerve ending was on fire.
Every part of her body was calling out to be touched by his.
Instead, she was left alone. Her knees buckled and she slid down the door, wrapping her arms around herself.
She pulled her knees up to her chest and rested her head on them, letting the tears fall down her face.
Part of what he’d said was true. Duc was the closest thing she had to family. The only difference was she’d never really told him how important he was to her. Duc had still had his mum and dad. She’d always just imagined she didn’t feature quite as highly in his life as he did in hers. Best friend had been comfortable. Best friend had been manageable—at least she’d thought so.
But everything had changed. How could she forget about a kiss like that? How could she pretend it’d never happened?
She wiped the tears from her face, realising that her hands were shaking. No, her whole body was shaking. She stood up on trembling legs and ducked under the mosquito net to wrap herself in the blankets on her bed.
The air around her was clammy but she couldn’t seem to retain any heat. She rested her head on the pillow.
She’d started this. She’d initiated this. She’d been the one to step forward and slide her hands up to his shoulders.
She could have brushed off the damp shirt. She could have ignored his apologetic actions. Instead, she’d moved. She’d acted.
She’d reached out to grab the connection that had blossomed before her. A connection she rarely ever made.
Or had she ever made it?
Vivienne was very used to being alone. Very used to looking after herself. From the age of seventeen she’d never relied on another person. Living a life like that was isolating. It also meant she erected a shield to protect herself from being hurt. It made it easier to move around. Moving around, she wasn’t anywhere long enough to get too attached to people or to places.
Duc was the only person she’d ever let penetrate that shield—just a little.
And right now she was regretting even that. His friendship had been the one thing she’d reached out and grabbed onto.
She couldn’t tell him how she was really feeling. She couldn’t tell him that from the moment she’d set eyes on him at the airport and hugged him it had felt like coming home. Home. A thing she’d never really had. A word she’d never really found a place for.
May M?n Hospital was exquisite. The problems were sortable. The staff were welcoming. The thought of getting the chance to cover at one of the other hospitals wasn’t exactly too shabby either. How could she explain that for the first time ever she felt a buzz of excitement about a place. Just walking through the corridors made her smile.
And the realisation was that a huge, huge part of that was Duc.
But now?
Emptiness rolled around her in waves.
The truth was she’d never felt so lonely in her entire life.
And that made her sadder than ever.
CHAPTER NINE
DUC WAS WALKING on eggshells and they were all of his own making. For the past two weeks Vivienne had had a grin plastered to her face as if it had been painted on there.
He’d screwed up. He’d screwed up big time.
Joe had started shooting him funny glances and Lien was being down right off with him.
In the meantime, Vivienne had been true to her word. The conversation with Ron had gone well, even though both of them had been shuffling in their seats uncomfortably. Ron had asked for a few weeks to think about things, whilst still agreeing to consult on difficult cases.
Vivienne had read him well. Duc would never have imagined asking Ron to consider a position at May M?n. But he’d smiled when asked, nodded, and hadn’t seemed at all surprised. Duc’s complete dread had been the thought that Ron might be insulted at being asked to give up his position for what most people would consider a less prestig
ious job.
But Ron had revealed that he was ready to think about some changes in his life, and that he liked the possibility of working at May M?n. He’d mentioned a few community outreach projects that could be developed and had asked some questions that seemed to check if he and Duc were on the same page.
Vivienne had been enthusiastic, chipping in with projects she’d been involved with in other areas, and their success rate and transferability to Hanoi.
Duc hated the atmosphere in the house between them both right now, and his biggest dread was that she might go back on her promise to stay the full six months.
They’d arranged interviews this week with another midwife. But whoever they employed wouldn’t be able to replace the intensity that Vivienne felt for her job and her patients.
Duc had to try and sort things out.
Viv was finishing up in an outpatient clinic when he found her.