He couldn’t take that risk. Not for a heartbeat.
Tomorrow was home time. Tomorrow he’d be back in Texas.
Tomorrow he had to break up with Corrine.
* * *
It was—quite possibly—the longest two minutes in her life.
It had taken a few weeks to realise that the permanent knot feeling in her stomach and lack of appetite might actually be something else and not just a dodgy tummy she’d picked up in Key Largo.
And after two weeks of lots of flirty emails, she’d had not a word from Kazakhstan. Not a single blooming word.
She was already feeling terrible. Hearing nothing just made her feel ten times worse.
She glanced at her watch. Another minute to wait. She stood up and quickly realised she didn’t need to wait. One word. Pregnant.
No chance for misunderstanding. The digital display was quite clear.
Her legs wobbled and she slid down the wall, putting her head in her hands and sucking in a few deep breaths.
This was so not in her life plan. Single motherhood. Perfect. Just perfect.
How could she work full time at WSSA and look after a baby? She didn’t even have family nearby to help. They were thousands of miles away and a few states over.
And it wouldn’t exactly take her colleagues long to work out whose baby it was. With her luck little Jimmy would appear in a flight suit with a pilot’s licence in his hand, sucking people in with his father’s signature bright blue eyes.
She gulped and stood up. It was time to get a grip. She rested her hand on her perfectly flat stomach. She was barely pregnant. No one would have to know for a while. She had plenty of time to make plans.
She let her head fall back against the cool tiles. She’d need to see an OB/GYN. And she certainly wouldn’t see one around here. She’d like her business to stay her business for the next few weeks. The gossiping could wait.
Her stomach lurched. Austin. How would she tell Austin?
Because of course she’d need to tell him. It wasn’t as if she could keep this secret for long.
Just the thought of it was like a weight pressing down on her chest. They’d never, ever discussed anything like this. Kids hadn’t been on his radar—just as they hadn’t been on hers. For now, anyway.
Of course in the future she’d imagined herself having a family once she’d finally found the perfect man. It just seemed she was doing everything in the wrong order.
Trouble was, in a way, she’d found the perfect man. Austin was perfect in so many ways. He might even be happy about this.
But they weren’t ready for this. She wasn’t ready for this.
She’d just started to let him in. For the first time ever, she’d started to let her emotions affect her. She’d let herself be ruled by her heart instead of her head.
She didn’t want this relationship to be forced. Did they even officially have a relationship? She’d wanted to let things evolve naturally—to see where they ended up.
But she had the sneaking suspicion Mr Hotshot was probably a bit traditional, and as soon as she told him he might want to ‘do the right thing’.
And the truth was she didn’t want to be his ‘right thing’; she wanted to be the love of his life.
Wow. Where had that come from?
How did you go from flirting with a guy, to sleeping with a guy, to making him the love of your life? The thought terrified her.
What would a life with Austin be like? She’d never done this before. Never even imagined having a life with someone else. How would they cope with a baby? Would he want to stay here, or somewhere else? How would she feel when he shot off into space for six months and left her at home?
It was all too overwhelming. Too much to consider when she’d just discovered her life was already going to change completely.
She absolutely couldn’t go there right now. She just couldn’t. There was other stuff to deal with. Emotions would have to wait.
She took a long slow breath and blew out slowly. Positive thoughts. Positive thoughts. That was what she needed to think.
She didn’t want her kid to feel unwanted. He or she might have been unplanned, but her son or daughter definitely wouldn’t be unwanted. Life was going to have to change and she’d just have to learn to adapt.
As for Austin? She’d no clue where he would fit into this picture.
Even if she secretly hoped it would be right by her side.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
HE HADN’T APPEARED. The astronaut candidates had arrived home last night and Austin hadn’t appeared at her house.
What was worse was she’d actually waited. She’d waited for him in her bed.
It had seemed exciting at the time. She’d had it all planned out in her head. He’d arrive, find her waiting exactly as he’d left her before, they’d kiss, she’d tell him the news and...
Forget it. None of it had happened. After lying in her underwear for two hours she’d finally got up and eaten some chocolate, cursing him that she couldn’t drink wine.
The excuses had flown around her head. He was sick. He’d been called away for a family emergency. He’d had to help a friend with something.
She was trying really hard to cling onto something positive. Although she hated how desperate that made her feel. She had to reserve judgement until she’d actually spoken to him and that would be some time today.
She pulled up the training sheet. Today was D-day for some of the candidates. At this point, any candidate who wasn’t making the grade would be transferred out of the programme.
Austin’s name was in the top spot on nearly every sheet. He’d aced just about everything. He was a dead cert for astronaut selection.
She didn’t know whether to be happy or sad.
It was just what he wanted. His mission to the space station would probably last around six months. Six months for him to be absent from his baby’s life.
She squeezed her eyes closed for a second. She had to stop thinking like this. Lots of astronauts had families. They had to leave behind husbands, wives, partners and children to go and fulfil their dream. There was nothing wrong with that. Nothing. She’d always believed that. So, why now did it seem so much harder?
Why did six months seem like a lifetime?
She gave herself a shake and walked over to the coffee pot in her room. Two seconds later she turned and walked away. Old habits were hard to break. She’d need to find some decaf somewhere.
There was too much going on in her head right now. The whole pregnancy thing was overwhelming. Which was pathetic really, since she was a professional with a good job and her own place. She didn’t need anyone else. She could do th
is on her own.
It didn’t matter that this wasn’t how she had imagined things would work out. At no point in any of the half-erotic dreams she’d been having had her abdomen been swollen with a baby. The main feature of any of these dreams had been Austin. He’d been front and centre in them all. But where would he figure in her life now?
She bit her lip and walked out of her office, stalking down the corridor to Frank’s room. He might not be at work but she was sure he’d have decaf somewhere. Three minutes later she had the prize, along with an unopened packet of chocolate-chip cookies. Bonus.
She walked back to her office and straight into the large immovable force currently blocking her door.
‘Oof!’
The broad shoulders turned round immediately. Austin. Bright blue eyes. Staring straight at her.
‘Sorry. We need to talk.’
Boy, do we.
She started to put some decaf into the coffee pot and tried to stop her hands from shaking. ‘Yes, I think we do. I have some news.’
Austin folded his arms and leaned against the door jamb. Why did he have to look so darn sexy?
But the hardest thing was the fact she just wanted to go over and touch him. Smell him. Stand next to him. That was why keeping her hands busy was the best thing for her.
‘Corrine...’ His voice tailed off.
It was the way he said her name. As if he were born to say her name. She loved it. She loved the Texas drawl that sent so many shivers up her spine. But there was something about the way his sentence started but didn’t continue that made her turn around.
‘Aren’t you supposed to be at the selection meeting?’
He pressed his lips together. ‘This is more important.’
You’re right, it is.
Had he really just said that? She was stunned. The guy who had one focus, one ambition in life—to be astronaut. This was more important?
It threw her. She wasn’t expecting that. She’d been so busy trying to think of when she should tell him about the pregnancy that it hadn’t occurred to her he would be thinking of anything but the selection meeting this morning.