I realized suddenly that I knew what it was.
An orchid.
I knew because my mother had loved them.
Her eyes widened when she saw me. I saw her for the first time. Really saw her.
Other than the wild hair and a few extra pounds, she was cute as a button. I felt like a dickwad for dismissing her for all these years as ‘the chubby friend.’ She was more than that. I knew she was a nice girl. Her face was kind. But her eyes were pissed.
“You have got to be kidding me.”
“What?”
“Out! I don’t want to yell in front of the plants.”
She talked to plants? No wonder she and Nev were friends. It was kind of adorable to be honest. Though I was not in the mood to be entertained.
I backed out of the greenhouse. Frannie’s eyes were spitting fire. I smiled at her, hoping to mollify her.
Instead she growled.
The girl growled at me.
Once we were outside on the lawn she tore into me. I deserved everything she said. Even worse, I agreed with everything she said.
“She’s special! She deserves better than this – better then you! And to think I encouraged her to go for it! I could kick myself. Now she won’t be able to finish school. She could end up waitressing for the rest of her life, do you know that?”
“She won’t. I won’t let that happen.”
“How exactly?” she asked, crossing her arms over her chest and raising her eyebrows.
“I’ll pay for school. I’m twenty-one. I can use my trust.”
“She’s not a pet Clay! She’s a woman!”
I nodded.
“I know. Come on, Frannie, do you really think I wanted any of this to happen? Other than – well, you know.”
She narrowed her eyes at me, clearly not sure if she should trust me or not. I smiled at her, trying to charm her into helping me.
“Did you really tell her to – what did you say – go for it?”
She threw up her hands.
“Ugh. You are incorrigible. Come up to the house for some lemonade.”
For the next hour we talked about Nev. About what a mess I’d made of things. About what I was going to do to fix it.
I won her over. But I’m not going to lie. There was begging involved.
Lots of begging.
At the end of it I’d admitted I loved Nevada. I’d admitted I wanted to marry her. I’d admitted a dozen times that I was a dumbass. And I left feeling like I had more than an ally. I had a friend.
Chapter Thirty-Two
Nevada
I stared at the neon lights blinking softly outside our window. For some reason we’d lucked out and gotten the room right under the damn sign. The blinking, buzzing, ancient 1950’s neon sign.
Sure it looked cool when you drove by. Retro sleaze. But staying here was something else altogether.
I sighed and rolled over on the lumpy bed to look at my mom. She was using my laptop. Hers had been company material.
She was trying to find a job. I still had one at the club but it was a long and not terribly safe bike ride from this place. This rat hole. I stared at the television blankly. Reading required actual thought, something I seemed to be incapable of. I’d been overdosing on reality TV and daytime talk shows.
Thank God for cable.
Finally I forced myself to get up.
“I’m getting a soda. Want anything?”
She shook her head.
“No thank you, love.”
I wondered how she could be so nice to me when I’d gotten the two of us into this mess. No matter what else had been going on, this was my fault. I was getting really good at beating myself up.
I was basically an expert.
I nodded and grabbed my wallet. Then I shuffled outside. I was wearing bunny slippers but I didn’t care. Nobody was there to see my in my tank top and old PJ shorts.
This place didn’t really get hopping until late anyway. Then it was an adulterers playground. Well, plus lunch.
Lots of people checked in for lunch.
I closed the door behind me and froze.
Clay was outside.
I lurched back against the wall and out of the glow of the neon light. He was down there. He’d found me.
He’d found me here.
The scummiest hotel in Sonoma.
The humiliation of it all was too much.
I stepped forward slightly, unable to stop myself. He looked unbelievably handsome down there. He was arguing with clerk. They wouldn’t give him our room number from the sound of it.
Clay was trying to bribe the clerk, who shockingly, was not taking the thick wad of cash. He cursed and the clerk went inside. Then he looked up and saw me.
“Nev!”
I panicked, running back toward our hotel room along the open air hallway. Running because I couldn’t see him. Not like this.
Running because I was afraid I would throw myself into his arms and beg his forgiveness.