“I didn’t leave with Stud the next day. I told him I needed time to let the news cool down before going back to the circuit. Stud only left after I promised I’d meet up with him in a month. He kept calling me, wanting me to come back, but I didn’t. I quit taking his calls and ignored him. He couldn’t drop everything to fly back. Besides, the brothers had lied to him, telling him I was fine, that I just needed time. Reese was having Meri and Keri, and he had commitments to his sponsors.
“It was three months before I woke up to find Stud standing over me. I’ll never forget the look on his face.”
The agony on his face had Crazy Bitch’s eyes tearing up. “You had started using.”
“I was fucking addicted. When he tried to take me out of there, I fought him. Told him if he didn’t leave me alone, I would disappear and never see him again.”
“He didn’t leave.”
“Not my big brother. It would be easier to break iron when someone he loves needs him. That’s why he had put up with our father for so many years. He used what money he had to build this house and moved Reese and the girls into it. That was when he started hanging out at the club. When he gained enough power, he took over.
“It was dirty and brutal, but he did it. He got rid of those who were dealing and supplying me and tried to get me in rehab. I refused. I didn’t want to feel better, and I damn sure didn’t want to take the drugs away that kept me from seeing how low I had sunk. As hard as he tried, I was able to get the drugs I needed.”
“Candi.” Disgusted, Crazy Bitch was glad the bitch was behind bars.
“Among others,” he confirmed. “All an addict has to do is look around. It’s easy to spot someone else using. Stud, on the other hand, didn’t, so he couldn’t spot them as easily as I could.” His head fell back as he gave a tragic laugh that was filled with self-reproach.
“I was so out of it. Meanwhile, Reese started hanging around the club. Stud found her with one of the brothers. She had fucked around on him a few times on the circuit, but she must have liked what he was giving her because they both left the club, and she gave Stud custody of the girls. If it wasn’t for me staying at the club, Stud and Reese would still be together.”
“You don’t know that. You said she had fucked around before, so they would have broken up, anyway.”
“Maybe, but it wouldn’t have been my fault.” He punched his chest. “Dad’s death, Stud’s riding career, Reese leaving him—that’s all on me. Stud’s a standup guy; that’s why Skulls turned the Destructors over to him, and that’s why The Last Riders trust him, and those bastards don’t trust anyone. You saw their kids at Star’s birthday party. They watch those kids like a hawk, but the men sent the women alone with only Razer to watch over them. That shit wouldn’t have happened with anyone else. I can guarantee that. When Viper, Winter, and Aisha visit Gavin, he brings four men with him.”
“I noticed. I also noticed they trust you with Gavin.”
He shook his head, as if shaking away old memories. “I didn’t tell you all this shit so you could make me feel better.”
“Then why did you tell me?”
“To give you fair warning. I may be Stud’s brother, but the similarities end there. I’m not the same man who stood you up or who has been fucking any hole within reach. I’ve been getting my act together, but I’m far from measuring up to Stud. I guess, what I’m trying to say is, I may not measure up, but there is no way I’m going back to the way I was.”
“I don’t think Stud expects you to measure up to him, and I don’t expect you to, either. Hot thang, I honestly don’t know what I’m expecting from you, but I can definitely tell you, comparing you two isn’t on my mind.”
His grin flashed when he leaned forward on his seat, pulling her toward him.
“You giving me a hard time by calling me that? You really think I’m hot?”
With her hand on his chest, she pushed herself away. “I have to get home; I have that early appointment.”
“You always have early appointments.”
“I have shit to do at night.”
“Since I’m going to be spending most of the weekend with you, I’m going to get a couple hours sleep then go stay with Gavin. I won’t be back until Friday.”
“If you want to crash at my place, you can. You can get an extra thirty minutes of sleep. It will save you time by not backtracking in the morning.” She didn’t like the idea of him riding when he was so tired.