Sliding the freezer bag open, she took out the box. With a racing heart, Jessie flipped it open to see what was inside.
Curious, she looked at the slips of papers. They were in various sizes. Some looked newer, while others looked older, yellowing in age.
One by one, she opened the notes. Each one shattered another piece of her heart.
When she had read them all, she put them in order, then read through them again, rereading the oldest one first.
- I’m sorry. Your pa hates me. He’s never going to let me marry you.
- Are you going to stay mad at me forever?
- You can have my hat if you forgive me.
- How can I marry you when I grow up if you don’t talk to me?
P.S. I promise I will be a good pa.
Jessie gave a hiccupping sob at rereading that one.
- We’re having a boy/girl school dance. Will you go with me?
His childish scrawl changed into neater penmanship.
- You want to go fishing or to a movie?
- Will you be my girlfriend?
- I kissed a girl last night. I don’t want to kiss other girls. I want to kiss you.
She had to wipe her eyes while rereading the next one.
- I’m trying to wait for you to forgive me.
P.S. I still want to marry you.
- Will you go to prom with me?
- Samantha asked me out on a date. If you don’t want me to, I won’t go.
- I screwed up, Jessie. I’m sorry. I tried to wait. Samantha is pregnant. I’m going to ask her to marry me.
P.S. I won’t if you don’t want me to. I love you.
- We got our marriage annulled. She lost the baby. If you don’t hate me too bad, will you marry me?
- I have a son. His name is Logan. He’s going to love you as much as I do. Marry me? I want us to be a family.
- Why did you bid on me at the auction? Everyone thinks you did it because you were trying to teach your brothers a lesson. I don’t care why. If you want to go out, text me. Are you ever going to marry me?
She forced herself to read his last letter through blurred eyes.
- I found out today I’m dying. I have a brain tumor. I’m not going to tell my family, so if you read this, don’t tell them. I’m going to write them letters. I want them to know how much I love them.
Jessie, all I ever wanted was to marry you and have a family together, and now it’s too late. I wish I had done things differently. I wish Holt and Asher didn’t hate me. I wish you didn’t hate me because I threw our friendship in the dirt. I regret a lot of things, but I will never regret for one second that I loved you.
Jessie tenderly folded the notes closed, then put them back in the box. She protectively slid it back into the plastic bag, then slid it back into the hole. Rising, she hurried back to her house, where Tate and Asher were both on the porch, looking worried.
“We’re going by the daycare to get your phone before taking you back to the hospital,” Asher said harshly. “We were worried sick.”
Jessie threw herself laughingly at him, nearly knocking them both backward.
“Did you find where we planted our crop when you were walking around?”
“The only thing I’m high on right now is love. Dustin asked me to marry him. And I’m going to accept his proposal when I get back to the hospital.”
The brothers shared happy smiles.
“He’s regained consciousness?”
“No.”
Holt stared at her uneasily, like she had a screw loose. “And he just proposed?”
“Yes,” Jessie said, laughing at the way they were looking at her.
Asher gave her the same look Holt was giving her. “Yep, she’s high.”
35
The inky darkness was one that Dustin was familiar with. It was the same void he was sent to every time he experienced one of his dreams. The same darkness, the same feeling as if he were sliding through layers and layers of dark veils, as if there were something on the other side of the veil that he wasn’t supposed to see.
It was the same yet different. Dustin thought he could hear voices, but every time he tried to listen, they drifted farther away.
Directionless, he floated, waiting to be returned to his bed. Why was it taking longer this time? Or was he just being anxious, wanting to get back to wake Jessie up and make love to her?
Thinking about her spurred him on as he had never been spurred before to see if he could escape the void.
He cautiously kicked his feet like he would if he was swimming. Nothing happened. He tried to use his hands the same way. Again, nothing happened. Both times he failed, his frustration heightened. Suddenly, he felt a flicker of fear that they had forgotten about him and he would be stuck in this darkness forever.