“It should have been me,” Lily cried.
Beth shook her head against the dirty floor. “There was no way I was ever going to watch him hurt you. You’re my little sister.”
“The ambulance will be here in five, the FBI in ten,” Lucky told him.
“Knox, you and Train take these so-called Christians to the front of the church and get them lined up for them.” Knox nodded. “Cash, Rider, take Saul,” Shade ordered.
Lucky laid his revolver down on the podium. He took off his do-rag and used it to staunch the blood coming from Saul’s wounded hand.
“We don’t want him to bleed to death, do we?” Lucky said sarcastically.
“Get your hands off me! I didn’t do anything. I was trying to stop them!” Brooke yelled as Train approached her.
Shade turned to stare at the lying bitch. She was already planning her defense.
“Shade, you have to see how weak she is! She can never be the woman you deserve.”
“Like you?” Shade snarled.
“Yes! She can’t understand you the way I can! She’ll never love you the way I do!” Brooke’s crazed eyes stared into his.
“Get her out of here before I kill her,” Shade ordered, not wanting to waste another second on her. Train pushed her toward the doorway.
Brooke was going out the front door beside Train when she shoved him, catching him off-guard. As he stumbled, off-balance, she bent down and picked up the gun of the man Shade had killed. Turning, she pointed it at Lily.
Shade lifted his rifle, taking a split-second to aim, remembering his promise to Lily as his finger tightened. A shot rang out next to him, and Brooke’s shocked expression went blank as she fell outside the open doorway with blood pouring from her chest.
Shade turned in stunned surprise to see Lily holding a gun, still pointing it at Brooke. He carefully reached out and took the gun away from her limp hand.
“Lily…?”
“I hit her, didn’t I?” Her voice trembled with hysteria.
“Yes, angel. You shot her in the chest.”
“I know. It’s what I was aiming for.” Lily’s legs gave out, and Shade managed to catch her as she fainted.
* * *
“Do you remember that time you fixed dinner and burned the meatloaf? You didn’t want to admit you had burned it, so you said it was the way you liked it. You managed two bites before you had to admit it was inedible.” Shade picked up Lily’s hand as he talked, picking another story to tell her.
“Do you know why I have so many tattoos? It’s because I felt invisible, as if I didn’t exist. The tattoos made me feel like I wasn’t a shadow.”
“Shade…” King came inside the room. “I’ll stay. Go home and get some sleep. I talked to the doctor…” King’s voice was hoarse, and his eyes were bloodshot.
For the last two days, neither King nor Shade had left her side.
“I’m not leaving her. You go home to Evie. I’ll call when she wakes up.”
King sat down in the chair beside Lily’s bed. Burying his head in his hands, he cried. “They think she’s had a psychological break,” King said. “They want to start her on medication.”
“She’s breastfeeding.” Shade had repeated it several times before and would continue to do so.
Rachel had come by that morning, leaving in tears. She had told him that, when she had tried to reach for Lily, she couldn’t find her.
Lily had confided in him that, as she was growing up, she had hid all her fears behind a door. Shade believed she was the one hiding behind that door at the moment, too afraid to come out and face that she had possibly killed someone.
“Please, angel, come home. I need you.”
Shade’s phone lit up with a text message. He read it before placing it back in his pocket. He went to the hospital door, opening it and finding Jane on the other side. She came inside the room, and Shade made no effort to touch the baby, going to the opposite side of the bed than Jane.
“Lily, I brought John. You told me you were only going to be gone a few hours, but it’s been three days. I need to go home. Cade’s waiting for me.” Jane’s soft voice filled the room as she talked to Lily.
Jane gently laid John down next to Lily. “I told you a few months ago that I envied you. Truth is, Lily, I don’t think anyone could have survived what you’ve had to face in your life. If it was me, I’d want to escape for a little while to rest, too, but it’s time to come home.
“John needs you. As much as I love him, he’s yours, not mine. John is yours and Shade’s, and he needs you.” Jane broke off, crying as she stepped away from the bed.
Shade stared down at his wife and son. “Rachel told me this morning that you had asked her to teach you how to shoot the day she came to visit you when John was born. You did target practice at Mag’s when you visited her. Lily, something inside you told you that you needed to protect your family. That’s what I’ve been doing since the day I met you.
“You were right; I can feel love. I thought I couldn’t all these years, but I could. I confused loyalty with love. It took us almost losing John for me to understand what you’ve been telling me all along.
“The last time you tried to leave me, I could follow you. I can’t follow you where you are now, so you have to come back here to me and John.”
As his son began to whimper, Shade didn’t try to give him his paci or pick him up.
Jane stepped forward. “Let me.”
“His mother will get him. Won’t you, Lily? The nights I went in to check on him, you were already there, watching over him.
“You didn’t want me to kill Brooke, because you didn’t want him to be raised without a father, but he needs a mother, too. I won’t raise him without one.” His voice lost its gentle tone, becoming harsher. “I’ll move Bliss in to take care of him. If she does well, I’ll marry her.”
Jane gave a shocked gasp.
“Who’s going to make sure he’s warm? You know I like to keep the house too cold.
“If you don’t wake up, we’re going to have to give him formula. I’ll pick the best one I can, but that shit’s expensive, and cheaper is always better.
“Who’s going to keep him from riding the motorcycle I’m going to buy him when he gets old enough to ride?”
John began to cry louder.
“For God’s sake, Shade, pick him up.” King stood.
“When King gets too old to take care of himself, I’ll put his ass in a nursing home.”
Shade gave it a final try. “When John turns eighteen, he can join The Last Riders with Chance and Noah. They’ll have a fucking blast.”
“Shade…” King took his arm, trying to move him away from the bed.
“Let me go!” Shade snarled, picking his crying son up and placing the paci back in his mouth.
“You didn’t kill that bitch. You missed her heart. If you don’t come back, she wins, Lily.”
Tears fell down his cheeks as he stared at her. “Lily, I’m begging … please come back.”
When Lily remained unmoving, Shade turned his back to the bed and began rocking his son, placing him against his shoulder as he crooned to him the song Lily always sang to put him to sleep.
“Twinkle, Twinkle, little…”
John began to cry harder.
“Shade!” King’s voice had him spinning around.
Lily was watching him from the bed.
Shade walked back to her.
“I told you it scares him when you sing.”
Chapter 94
“Are you sure you want to do this?” Shade warned as they walked up the pathway to the clubhouse.
“I’m sure. I want to see our house before I go inside,” Lily told him, carrying John as they drew near the corner of the clubhouse to see what remained of their home.
Most of the wood was already broken apart and moved to the side so they could try to recycle as much of it as possible. The Last Riders had already begun the clean-up, moving what furniture cou
ld be saved to the storage room of the factory and throwing the rest away.