Zach: I can’t wait to see you sweetheart. I’ve been fighting a damn hard on for the last two days. I can’t wait to be with you. I’ve been dreaming of this moment since you first smiled at me. I’ll be there this afternoon.
I swallowed hard and closed my eyes, only to run smack into someone. My coffee went everywhere. “Shit,” I said as I knelt down and began picking up the books I dropped. When the person I ran into bent down, I knew instantly it was Luke. Glancing up, our eyes met. “I’m, ah, I’m sorry I wasn’t paying attention,” I said as Luke gave me a weak smile. His eyes were filled with sadness. I swallowed hard as we looked into each other’s eyes.
“No worries. You seemed occupied with your phone.” Luke handed me a book and I began wiping it, getting most of the coffee off. Luke had slowly stood and I began to stand as well, reaching for the spilled coffee cup. When I looked at Luke, I saw him looking down at my phone.
“Luke? Um, can I get my phone back?” Luke turned and looked at me. His eyes were filled with regret. He slowly handed me my phone, turned, and walked away. I pulled my head back in surprise and watched as he walked off. I slipped my phone into my pocket and headed to my dorm room.
Thirty minutes later there was a knock on my door. I swallowed hard and took another look in the mirror. My blonde hair was pulled up and piled on top of my head in a loose bun. I had on a Texas A&M tank top, sans bra, and short jean shorts. I spun on my heels and opened the door.
Zach’s mouth dropped open as his eyes traveled up and down my body. “Jesus, you’re breathtaking.”
Zach moved into my room and shut the door behind him. His hands cupped my face as he pressed his lips against mine and pushed me against the wall. I moaned as his hand traveled under my tank top as he began to twist and pull my nipple.
Zach pulled his lips from mine, as he looked me in the eyes. “Lib, are you sure?”
The memory of Luke walking away from me this afternoon fueled my decision more. “Yes, I’m sure.”
I need to forget. I have to forget. Please let this make me forget.
I CLOSED MY eyes as I lay next to Zach. That was not w
hat I thought my first time would be like. It lacked passion and love. And something far more important, the man I wanted my first time to be with. I felt the tears begin to pool in my eyes. My mother’s words of advice replayed over and over in my mind. If only I’d listened to them. I sat up and reached for my robe. “I’m going to take a shower.”
Zach mumbled something as he lay there. Wrapping the robe around my body, I tied it and grabbed my phone as I made my way into the bathroom.
Shutting the door, I leaned against it and dropped my head back. “Oh God. What did I just do?” I whispered. I dropped down onto the cold tile floor and activated the screen on my phone. Zach’s text message was on the screen. My hand slowly moved up to my mouth as I closed my eyes and thought about earlier when I ran into Luke.
Looking down, I read the text message again. Luke must have read it and that was why he turned and walked away from me. He knew I was going to sleep with Zach. Tears began to spill from my eyes as I quickly wiped them away, trying to contain my sobs. I closed Zach’s message and opened up one to Alex. I was about to start typing a text to her when there was a knock at my dorm room door. I jumped up and quickly wiped away my tears. I opened the bathroom door and smiled weakly at Zach.
“Were you expecting a delivery or something?” Zach asked. I shook my head, fearing if I talked my voice would betray me. I opened the door and saw Luke standing there.
“Luke? What are you doing here?”
He shook his head and ran his hand through his hair. My heart began to race. “I need to talk to you, Lib.”
He was too late.
He came too late.
“If you wanted to talk, you should have talked to me months ago.” Before I gave myself to another man, when all I wanted was to be with you.
I closed the door more so that Luke couldn’t see Zach, lying in my bed—naked.
“Libby, please just let me come in. I need to talk to you.” His words were pleading and destroyed my already broken heart into a million pieces.
He let out a sigh. “Lib, just let me in … please.”
I shook my head. “Now is not a good time, Luke. Can you come back later?”
“No, I’m tired of this, Libby. I can’t take it anymore. I need to talk to you.”
I closed the door more. “Later, Luke.” Before I knew what was happening, he lifted his hand and pushed the door open and began walking in. I covered my mouth with my hand. I felt sick to my stomach.
“Oh, God,” Luke whispered as he looked at Zach sitting up in my bed. Zach smiled slightly.
“Um, I believe she told you this wasn’t a good time.”
Luke turned and looked at me. I was frozen. I couldn’t say a word as my heart pounded loudly in my ears.