I closed my eyes to fight the pull of her lips. I wanted to kiss her, tell her how much I loved her and wanted to make her mine. Opening my eyes again, I caught Libby licking her lips. For one brief second, I moved toward her lips before stopping myself.
She deserved so much better than me. Pulling back away from her lips, I whispered, “Was that spontaneous enough for you, Lib?”
I saw her swallow as she slowly nodded her head. “I um … I need to change before I get back into your truck.”
Letting go of her body, I watched as she turned and headed back to the truck. The rain had stopped and for one precious second, so did life. It was just Libby and me. I jumped when Libby shut the truck door. She walked toward me with a change of clothes. “I’m going to run into HEB and change.” She smiled weakly as she walked past me and into the store as I stood there. I finally came to my senses and walked to the truck for a change of clothes.
I needed to get her to Mason. Then I could go out and put this whole day where it belonged—tucked somewhere deep in my heart.
THE REST OF the
drive to Mason, Libby stared out the window. I tried a few times to talk to her, but no words would form. We were almost to her house when I got the nerve to talk to her.
“So this was a fun road trip, huh?”
She quickly turned and looked at me. I glanced at her as she stared at me. “What? What’s wrong?”
Her mouth dropped open. “Are you serious right now?”
I pulled up to her gate and stopped. “Yeah, what’s wrong?” The anger that moved across her face caused me to swallow hard. She unbuckled her seat belt and opened the door. “What are you doing?” I asked.
She got out as I put the truck in park. She opened the back door and grabbed her bag, slamming the door in the process. She started making her way to the gate when I grabbed her arm. “Lib, what is wrong? Why are you angry?”
She dropped her bag and pushed me, hard. I stumbled back a few steps before righting myself.
“You! You are what’s wrong, Luke.” She began shaking her head as I watched tears fill her eyes. I was always making her cry. Always. I ran my hand through my hair when she walked up, grabbed my arm, and pulled it down. “Stop! Stop doing that!” she screamed.
I took a step back. “Stop doing what?”
Her lower lip began to quiver as she walked away from me. Libby picked up her bag and began walking to the gate. Stopping, she turned to me.
“Why do you do this to me?”
I took a step toward her when she held up her hand to stop me. “Do what, baby?”
She shook her head and stomped her foot. “This! Luke, you can’t keep confusing me like this. One minute you want to be my friend, and then you do something romantic like plan a lunch for me and dance with me in the rain. Then you go to kiss me, only you push me away.” A sob escaped her mouth as she closed her eyes.
“What do you want from me, Luke?”
I knew I couldn’t tell her how I felt. I knew she felt the same way about me, but something kept stopping me. I was so afraid I would hurt her again. I always seemed to hurt her.
“I … I care about you, Libby. You’re my best friend,” I said as I watched a tear roll down her face. I quickly walked up to her and placed my hand on the side of her face and wiped the tear away. My heart was breaking knowing I caused that tear. She leaned her face into my hand and my heart felt like someone was squeezing it.
“I want more than that, Luke,” she whispered as she closed her eyes. “I don’t want to be your best friend.”
Dropping my hand, I took a step back. Libby opened her eyes and looked into mine. It was almost as if she was pleading with me to do something. Say something. I took two steps back and shook my head. “I don’t mean to keep hurting you, Libby. I … I just …”
The moment I saw the hurt flash across her face, I wanted to pull her to me. She cleared her voice and smiled weakly. “I’ll see you around, Luke.” Turning away from me, Libby walked over to the keypad and typed in the code, causing the gate to swing open.
“Lib, let me drive you up to the house,” I called out after her. She held up her hand and continued walking.
“I need some time alone. See you around, Luke.”
“Fuck,” I mumbled under my breath as I watched her walk down the driveway. I turned and headed back to my truck. Slamming the door shut, I dropped my head against the back of the seat. I closed my eyes and was brought back to the night my world changed.
I WAS LEANING against my truck watching Libby out of the corner of my eye. I finally got the guts to kiss her. Why I waited until the night before I left for college, I have no clue. Will was going on and on about something.
Grace and Libby started giggling when Will looked over toward them. I couldn’t take my eyes off of Libby. She had been my best friend since I could remember. We did everything together. Told each other everything. I swear my lips were still tingling from the kiss we shared earlier under the bleachers.